| issue number one - September, 2000 Nonduality
Salon Magazine
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Chuck's
Corner
Chuck Hillig
Dear Chuck,
When you say that we are already "It," that we
are only pretending to be separate, why do you suppose
that we keep on believing this illusion? People I've
talked to complain they are still guided by their
personal fears and hopes. They say that life is not that
easy. I'm wondering if you aren't simplifying this whole
enlightenment issue a little too much?
Fredrick H. (Lompoc)
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Dear Fredrick,
Well, in Truth, there really is no "we" or
"they" out there at all. There is only
"It"...the Pure Consciousness of Self. Asking
this seemingly innocent question ("Why do we keep on
believing this illusion?") distracts you from seeing
this Truth. How? Because the question makes two basic
assumptions: 1) that there really is a collective
"we/they" out there and that 2) these so-called
"others" are all believing in some illusion.
This question is phrased in a way that invites you to
focus on the "why-are-they-believing-this"
before it's ever been proven that there really are any
actual "others" out there to be believing
anything at all! You see, if there are no separate
"others" to begin with, then addressing the
"why" part of this question becomes completely
irrelevant. Things are just as they are.
Consciousness cannot be over-simplified. In fact, It is
simplicity, Itself. The indivisible Consciousness can
only manifest the illusory world of polarities by
pretending to be divisible. And then...It plays!
_______________________________________________
Dear Chuck,
How can I deal with my co-dependency? Every time I get
into a relationship with a man, I feel like doing
everything for him. The problem is that I lose myself and
get overwhelmed in the bargain. Then, as has happened in
the past, we split apart and I feel used. I just started
a new relationship and I can already feel myself
returning to the old pattern. How do I care for the other
person without overdoing it? Help!
B. L. (near Santa Barbara)
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Dear B.L.,
Acting like a Rescuer (and both sexes do this) comes at a
very high cost because it discounts both parties. The
Rescuer is discounted through her unconscious fear that
just being herself is not good enough to sustain her part
of the relationship. She believes that the only way that
this other person would want to hang around
"the-likes-of-her" would be if she provides a
necessary and valued service. Since the Rescuer has an
absolute need to be needed by the Other, this dynamic
often plays out by her becoming overly involved in the
other person's life and concerns. In this fear-based
dynamic, however, the Other person is also being
discounted. How? Well, the unspoken assumption here is
that the so-called "victim" is incapable of
handling his own problems without the "loving"
guidance and support of the Rescuer. The catch, though,
is that the Rescuer's disowned fear of personal
inadequacy is only being projected. But, since people
help people all the time, how can you tell the
difference? Well, a legitimate rescue has absolutely NO
strings attached to it. None! It
comes from the love of being and sharing who you are and
not from having a desperate need to be loved and valued
by doing any unnecessary care-taking of the Other. In
truth, you cannot fully love something that you need.
_______________________________________________
Quote of the Month: "We don't see others as they
are. We see others as we are." Author Unknown
Chuck Hillig, a devotee of Eastern Philosophy, works in
Ojai and Ventura as a state licensed Marriage and Family
Therapist. He is also a member of Mensa. You can contact
Chuck by writing to: Chuck's Corner, Box #1068, Ojai, CA
93024, call him directly at (805) 640-8825, e-mail:
ccorner@jetlink.net or go to his Website: www.blackdotpubs.com
The
above was reprinted with permission. It originally
appeared in Information Press
www.informationpress.net
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