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The Ubertyrant and the Net

Carlos Dwa

These writings are reproduced with permission of the author. This edited version Copyright 1998 by Carlos Dwa. All rights reserved. No portion of this text may be copied without expressed permission of the copyright owner.

Magnetic Blood | In the Hearth: Shamesh, Salock in the Heart

Convinced that
eating out of his own
is communing with
the enlightened idiot
suckles his
own piss
and is besotted
with the psychopathism
that arose from his stifled hysteria
upon finding
that others
did not recognize him for what
he thinks he is.

Looking into the eyes
of passersby,
the woman could not help but secretly wonder
if their anscestors had consumed
human flesh.

Delighted by his insights
he remembered what the brujo said,
"Cats lick their own shit,
and dogs eat it."
Could his approach have been
all this time?

Could it have been any more wrong?

His master always thought
more of him than he did himself
-but never took
him seriously.
...As he did himself.
The master had had far too much
respect for him
than to allow such death
to enter in.

And out of this respect
the master lived
as if he had never known
to keep the
life of life alive,
...should that one
ever bring from his
tomb, a someone
worthy of kindling...

The Ubertyrant and the Net

The net.

The net represents a potential for constriction

heretofore unavailable to the common man.

You have a tyrant in your head.

I am well aware that there are many people who write

and read in this forum who couldn't imagine

that it is a real consideration whether or not to write

here. Especially if a few people indicate that they are

interested -(let's say curious) as to what you will write next.

There is a cost however -and it can be a great cost.

The relationship -the dynamic of a person who is

intensely involved with a newsgroup such as this

is not typically conducive to,

let's call it, "stepping through" one's self,

or...let's call it coming to rest before a moment.

or...let's call it being present to your life.

Let's call it allowing things to be themselves.

Let's call it disassociation from the tyrant.

Let's call it ripping a breathing space in an asphyxial

whorling magnetic cocoon and sticking your head

through it.

let's call it look.

...or stop, or hush, or shhhhhhh.

Fact is you don't have much chance here.

Despite my rudeness, despite my refusal to

use new age terminology and my insistence

that people discussing the niceties of various

"esoteric" ideas are deluded. -despite my insistence that

people who talk about the supreme importance

of love, faith, hope etc. are nothing more

than scoundrels -no matter how sincere they are.

Despite all this some of you find yourself

entertained or amused or intrigued by my

rude posts.

The reason for this is because you already know

this stuff yourself. It is an understanding you

have that borders on the instinctive. I just give you

words -sometimes merely new words -

a different angle on something you already "know"

-if not yet formulated in words -intrinsically.

This is not a theory. Some people can roll their

tongue, some can wiggle their ears, some can

design integrated circuitry in their heads,

some can become conscious in an extraordinary


Lacking this or not yet able to avail themselves of it,

a person would think that there is magic in this area,

they think that religious notions have something to

do with it.

Not even understanding algebra

-if the same person wanted to learn

an advanced form of mathematics,

would they think the most efficient way to do it

would be to sit and dream about what they think it is?

Perhaps feeling love toward calculus would

give them a practical working knowledge of

it's applications without any further to do about it.

You either have the capacity to delve into the

intricacies of higher math or you don't.

And if you do, you either study it

and come to a practical understanding of it or you don't.

While this peculiar area of possibility is

not entirely analogous and all verbal

references always present

their own particular variety of insidious

peccadilloes -it is not entirely unparalleled

by this comparison to more seemingly practical matters.

In a sense you already know what to do

-and in this sphere knowing what is knowing how.

But you will not do it. Why should you?

You think there is a reason to do it?

You actually think there is a reason to?


Then why don't you?

Welcome to the net.

Your own personal ubertyrant.

In Dwaspk -ubertyrant

is a dynamic that occurs

when the internal subjective

strawman that you set up to

imaginarily >bounce-your-ideas-off-of<

does in fact assume the dominant "subjective charge".

I won't go into the niceties of

this dynamic,

however I assure you the regular

tyrant -(your thoughts/emotions) which you think

you are, is constrictive enough as it is

without this additional complication.

This same phenomena would be evident

-for instance -in the waking "internal considerings"

in a group -where -knowing

nothing -one semiconscious being

would demand a verbal formulation

of another to describe their own subjective

experiencing during a "work effort",

so that they may be compared to a

verbal template.

As I have said before -this is the

high security area of the prison everybody is

already in.

How then will you step through yourself

when you are continually stepping in yourself?

You would have to learn how to do a 180

degree turn and not end up going in the opposite

direction you are now pointed in, -(the direction

of increased ubertyrant funding in the name

of increased consciousness).

Freedom from an infinite regression

is not found in

an infinite regression in

an opposing direction.

First the quickening,

then the plicaning,

then the quickening,

and so,


(c) 1996 Carlos Dwa

ps I do believe that to plican is to

fold a material in a fanlike manner,

but I do also think that it can be

used to refer to the type of folding

that occurs during the forging of

a fine sword or during the

growth of a fine neocortex.. Of course

your dictionary may not agree with me.

Actual mileage may vary.

How do we attain permanence?

Realize that you exist -and are alive here on earth in the

without thought

-with valiant effort and recurring inextinguishable

intent -and with all the attention and intensity

and endurance of which you are capable.

Not like somebody doing grunt work

but with quickness and almost

predatory opportunism -aliveness -and passion

200 hundred times in one day -each time

anew and not just a thought or fantasy -actually count them,
(clusters count as one attempt)

and I guarantee that if you do not find permanence

you will at least learn it's address.

How do we even attain a glimpse when self remembering is so far
from the REAL I?

This is not a question. It is a statement.

I guess we could argue about words.

You can say, "REAL I" is greater than self remembering."

Then I say, "Hold on thar partner. You can't

talk about self remembering like that. Why self remembering

made it possible for me to buy this ranch and just

look at that spread of consciousness laid out before

us like a vast sea of amber grain just a wavin' in the

autumn sun -beneath the majesty of them thar

purple mountains An them mountains got

hearts a' gold and they's got snowcovered volcanic peaks

don't ya realize that's a metaphor for flames of ice

which is itself an allegorical image which symbolizes

the primal flame of cellular metabolism fueling

the passions of the heart -represented by that steam

arisen there which has carved those

beautiful fluted crevasses in the ice which represents

the organic nature yet potentially glacial objectivity of the

Then you can say, "Now no offense to yer ranch

and purple mountains an all Marlin. But look
"REAL I" has all capital letters."

How many years must go by before we honestly confess that the
4th Way just isn't working

There is no 4th way aside from the people who

think they are involved with it. Even if these

people are growing in awareness -it still

couldn't be said that the 4th way works

Only people work.

Where are all the "conscious beings" produced by the 4th Way?

Conscious beings are not produced by ways

but emerge in spite of them.

Where are the perfected humans who have patiently walked down
the 4th Way?

Where is there one imperfect human?

In imperfection lies the potential for further growth

in their potential for growth humans are perfectly

what they are therefore in their imperfection

they are most perfect.

See what can happen when you reason from

artificial conceptual constructs such as perfect

and 4th way. All you say becomes mere

sophistry and propaganda.

A man with the aim to be conscious

cannot afford to entertain such an

arms length relation to his life for long.

Forget the 4th way.

Forget what It's called -

but there is no consciousness without


How many more people will live their lives in this pursuit only
to die with the horrible realization that they were merely pacifying
themselves with their self remembering and their faith?

Here's a tip on how to avoid this.

Be something so sweet and lucid

that you wouldn't care if you died at that moment.

"Self remembering" as you call it demands

not faith but inquiry, skepticism (not cynicism)

and impassioned dispassionate immediacy.

Each of us is on the road to death! To forget this is to be pacified,

If you forget you are alive (I am here now -without thought)

everything is fantasy. All your thoughts about death

are fantasy. Their only value can lie in motivating

you to remember to be present to your life.

Many regards,
Carlos Dwa

PS Once upon a time a king set a reward

of one thousand concubines to be

given to any man who could tell him

the secret of immortality.

After many disappointments

and much head chopping a

fierce and wild looking man

appeared at court one day.

He approached the throne

with a sort of erratic gait

that set the guards -well

-on guard.

He said "I know you

are searching for immortality

and I can't give you that

but I can give you something as


"And what would that be?"

asked the king.



"Yes -information about the location

of death. You know what they say

Know thy enemy and all that."

The king gestured for him to proceed

"I have searched the world for death

and I am happy to report that

it is nowhere to be found."

"What!" bellowed the king.

"What nonsense is this?", he said

as he gestured for his headchopper.

The man's eye's went wide

and he croaked -not without

a tinge of panic -, "I have another

one. I have another one."

"Another one?"

"Yes -ah -more information

on your enemy."

"Ok, let's hear it", -spit

the king -not without some

grudging amusement

if not at the mans tenacity

at least because of the dire

pressure of the situation.

It was indeed good to be king

he passingly mused -

Especially with some crazy

fuck like me on the throne.

"Ok, ok, said the man

here's the situation

-we have prelife

which is before your born

-then life -then aaaa

-not death like everyone thinks

-but retroprelife.

It's just like before your born

only a little later."

"Cut off his head."

-said the king quite neutrally.

"Wait wait -ok

-I can see you are a man not to

be trifled with," said the wanderer

as the axeman so rudely grabbed

him by the scruff.

"'ll give the real secret."

"Be quick then", said the king.

"Ok ok -ahhhh -well

you have no doubt heard of the genetic

code? Well what does it consist of

huh? Nothing but a couple of base codes

and a few billion sequences huh

Compare these paltry magnitudes

against the infinite vastness of all

future time. I'm not saying it won't

take a while but sooner or later

just by chance your code is bound

to be duplicated again. I mean

the population is increasing all the time

and you yourself have many offspring.

Damn it's virtually a sure thing

couple of hundred thousand years

or so -you'll be back.

And you won't even realize any time

has passed. Your life will be blinking

on and off across the eons like a firefly

for all eternity.

Don't look on it as death at all.

It's more like you just get disorganized for a while."

The king looked perplexed

-but bemused. Finally after

some kingly grimacing he said,

with a hint of exasperation.

"Jesus...alright, give him a concubine

and throw him out."

As the vagabond hurriedly

ushered his prize from the

hall he was heard to say to her

"Did you see that? That fucker

almost killed me!

...obviously never heard of

genetic drift

...good thing too.

Isn't that just perfect?

I mean I told the idiot the truth in the first place."

(c) 1996 Carlos Dwa

The Official GOD of Ultimate Reality!!! -(playing to the crowd)

By your sight you are blinded.
By your speech you are made deaf.

You think there is an actual Truth,
and an official God.

By your wise pronouncements
you assume the role of
ossified resistance.

Too numb to become
aware of your terror,
you take your numbness for love.
You think that there is an
underlying hidden
something to reality
-lacking the vivifyingness of being
to even plumb the depths
of apparent superficiality.

Your are a victim of the
Indo-Aryan myth of the great sky-god.

You speak of Brahman
yet you are not even a diminutive shaman,
nor do you have one's address.

With you everything is "the subject of".

If you truly were awakened
you would never speak in threadbare terms.
You would sooner cut your tongue out
than spew the party lines
of the priests, yogis, brahmins, rabbis, enlightened sages
preachers, mystics, saints, or any damn one.

You would have an understanding
unique and fresh
that could not be done a shadow
of justice
by the words of others.

You would teeter on the edge of gibberish
as you tried to express your own
living discoveries.

You would see the collected spiritual
and philosophical works of all ages
for what they are -
a monument to the impoverishment
of the human spirit.

-A wry gambit for dominance
in the human wolf pack.

Love love love
he seemed to be a dove.
But don't turn your back
cause' he'll stab you in the crack.

And not with a dick -swarming with creative energies,
but with a dirk with profoundly engraved
mystical symbols of love and surrender.

If you know Anything,
you have something New to say,
some new discovery to indicate.
Which is not to say it had never been discovered by others,
but your expression of it would be as unique as a snowflake.
And you wouldn't need to be certified
by a church or council,
or any damn guru or anyone,
because it would be a living part
of your being that you had discovered.
(You would not come back for India with a note form your guru.)

Once in a while, here and there
will be someone who can hear this.
Someone who will be immediately be
energized or transformed by coming in touch
with what is being indicated.

And they will experience this "energy"
some may call it ecstasy -a real down and
dirty physical energy -real enough to touch.
Then eventually, their habitual functioning will
once again take over and they will loose it.
It may last only hours. It may last days.
But if there is really anything to them
they will do whatever it takes to regain what
they have tasted. To be able to engender it in

It will feel like they have come home.

A real teacher is not in competition for followers.
Followers are a burden.
He or she has their own explorations and
inner endeavors to attend to,
and to give energy to another
or a group is a costly thing.

A real teacher will attempt from the
very start to free the seeker
from himself and any imagined system.
He will destroy any system of conclusions
and concepts that they try to establish
from their association with him.
He/she is not obligated in the least
to take anyone on as a student,
no matter their apparent sincerity.
He/she would just as well leave you to
your fantasies - Life as yet has little
need for conscious persons, and they tend
to cause problems to the homeostasis of the system.

Oh yes - Christians, Jews, Moslems, Hindus
- whatever...
good - how very good for you.
-well done -overdone in fact.
You are not victims of a cruel hoax
of dominance.
You are adherents of the Truth
- the real one.

Now if you could just surrender your heart and will,
to the true dominator,
the God of
militarist dominator culture.

God, Jahova, Yehway, Brahman, Bhrama,
the Void, Reality, Shiva, Christ, Vishnu,
Krishna, Mohammed, Ultimate Reality, The Truth,
The Yankees, Financial Security, Superior Weaponry,
Capitalism, Democracy, National security, Family,
Health, Transcendent Religious Truth, Death

But it just feels so right to surrender to Him.
Sure, the only way a slave can truly relax
is to be enslaved.
You have been bred to feel this
by countless generations of dominators
and would-be dominators, from Priest/kings
to CEOs....Relax ...surrender.
Here, have a beer, maybe a little toke, a religious
cocktail, some TV, a little Internet
-pretend to be something your not.
Who knows...maybe you can fool
somebody else beside yourself.
Maybe what you write will become meaningful to you
because you will be able to imagine
that it is meaningful to others.

The preceding is all nonsense
-unless for you it's not.

And if it's not,
you damn well better realize
that any window of opportunity
is only a transient anomaly,
and that the institutions, and schools,
and systems, and religions, always
come later, when the real is gone
- solid gone.

Got a bulldog in my Learjet
Gonna teach him how to fly
by him-selfffff.

'Cause I'm gone
- gone
gone, gone, gone,
- solid gone

-The Steve Miller Band
(before they got popular and sucked)

(c) 1999 by Carlos Dwa NAL

If the yam fits - walk a mile in it.

Once upon a time a wannabe upstart dominator (I mean guru),
was walking down the road. Lost in the infinitely regressive self-
reflections that he held forth to himself as the profound,
while simultaneously entertaining fantasies about how impressed his
imagined fawning followers would be when he reported
them to them, -
which he would, just as soon as he could.
When all of a sudden, he was passed by a jalopy
of indiscernible manufacture that made, what seemed to him,
unseemly and rude noises, but were actually just the sound
of the tires on the highway. He glared menacingly at the auto.
And as it rode by, the driver shot him a moon.
Which the would-be dominator, I mean guru, inexplicably
took to be the driver giving him the finger.
He was so incised by this that he tripped over
his own yams and sprawled onto the wayside gravel.
He quickly pretended that he intended to do this
as a lesson to the driver of the jalopy which was
by now out of sight. And he, exercising the full
measure of his cognitive powers, believed himself.

Which leads us to this, Grasshopper...
It is far better not to assume a dubious vehicle rolled over your dick,
than to mistake a moon for the finger.

(c) 1999 by Carlos Dwa NAL


Super Novas
Symmetry Breaking
Genetic Drift
Emergent Properties
Creative Insight
Happy Accidents

Just to mention a few recognized processes that can lead to the new.

If one doesn't see anything new
they are not expanding into new neural territory.
No one can make the new but you,
through your own impartial creative seeing.
Be considered... without predilection or conclusion.
Better than this, find a way of seeing, that
shows you new aspects, because such
radical new looking can only be integral
with a different looker.

Then perhaps the looker and the seen
may become irrelevant and the looking itself
indicate a new direction of expansion
very unrelated to former conclusions
or habits of consciousness. Active looking creates.
Then, what is seen is seen for the first
time. The new abounds. Only in
association does it become derivative and
depleted. Thus the impossibility
of actually directly telling another
about something new, in the realm of
the enhancement of consciousness,
without resort to metaphor and other such devices,
so that due to this intentional but
indicative vagueness, the hearer is
in effect allowed to discover what is
alluded to for themselves. Which
is the only way that it will be there
because it is the only way that their
being will be there.

I still intend to write about how it
is possible for two different
people to make the same statement
and why when one makes it, it can
be true and when another makes
it, it can be untrue.
I am not talking about statements such as
"I am enlightened," etc.
Rather, for example, something like, "There is no method,
or system or teaching that can lead to consciousness."

Perhaps someone can save me the trouble?

(c) 1999 by Carlos Dwa NAL

Ps: If your metabolic functioning evolves -your mind will tag along.

If you think there is spirit distinct and with only an ancillary
to your body. You are a dualist.

If you think there is a creator separate form creation,
You are a dualist.

If you think you have a mind that is independent of your
brain. You are a dualist.

If you think there is an "in here" and an "out there"...
guess what?

If you think you are a nondualist but others are dualists
you should realize you are silly.

If you think. While you are thinking. You are a dualist.

home | realizers/confessors page | Carlos Dwa is a member of the Nonduality Salon | Carlos Dwa: In the Hearth: Shamesh, Salock in the Heart | Carlos Dwa: Magnetic Blood
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