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#1110 Thursday, June 20, 2002
Editor: Christiana Duranczyk
You asked me:
~~~I've spent a while perusing some of your writings
and am finding a kindredship with your path and
evolution / transformation / realization. Circumstances
for me were somewhat different (I have six children).
Now I am going on 50.
Very briefly I took this route... early teens - an incredible
longing for 'truth' - psychedelic drugs - experiments with
yoga and kundalini and meditation and "who am I?"
meditation - sucked into Jesus movement, born again,
new testament felowships, - psychologies -
metaphysics - ascention stuff - channeling - ACIM -
Almaas and Diamond Approach - transformative
relationship - divorce - Advaita teachers - memetics -
on and on
Anyhow- getting to my question... recently having read
UG and seeing your mention of him, and resonating
with this ... 'understanding'... how do you view or hold
"devotion to a guru?" in the light of this?
The title of the post is a reverence to Trungpa and his
teaching about how some people become Suns, other
planets and others moons... Are there Suns who
want/need no planets and moons? Is it pretty much
futile to 'try to teach' (as UG says)? Anyway... please
'share' :)> ~~~Sebastian
GP: There does exist a natural 'community' which is
unlimited, infinite clusters of galaxies.
A galaxy becomes a conscious member of this
community, only when the eyes of the moons, planets,
and suns have opened; only then, does the galactic eye
open; and upon this event, does the galaxy become
aware of the already- existing community.
Understandably, we sentient Beings must open our
eyes, for our planet to be able to put aside defensive
measures, and to open the planetary eye. Upon this
event of the opening of the planetary eye, the moon is
seen; it is recognition of the moon, which teaches the
understanding of the principle of reflection.
Similarly, a person who is able to defer defensive
measures, is able to suddenly perceive what is already
there; infinite universe of awareness, at first mainly
represented by the array of 'sentient Beings' such as
humans. This is a good start.
The moon, for a human, is visible only by the light
reflected from the sun, by the moon,.
In this manner, are we able to recognize our own castoff
and orbiting denied psychic contents.
The Guru is the sun, whose light allows us to see what
is already there, but hidden by our own denial. There is
no need to worship the sun; but there is a need to pick
up on the clue, that there is a vast universe of stuff
which is invisible only until seen.
The trick of UGK is that he knows how to speak in a
way that can be received by anyone. He understands
that people defensively speak their own language; he is
able to be received, in spite of this blockade. As one
who deflects worship of himself, he is able to appeal to
the devotional type of person, without the sentiment of
attachment cloying the issues.
Umans need shocks, not comfort, to be able to open
their eyes, but the paradox is that while comfort allows
dropping of defense, in that moment, is when the real
shock occurs. The real irritant is within, not outside of
ourselves; when we relax, our denied materials
suddenly appear, and that is the shock that we need.
It is the already-existing community of aware sentient
Beings, which you will see; but this sentience is the
ubiquitous factor, rather than space or time. It is always
OK to open your eyes; when you do, you will see eyes
looking back at you. Do not be afraid, for it is you.
PS: On the issue of 'trying to teach':
I teach a class every Saturday morning. My approach is
to remove obstacles, rather than to introduce
"Trying to teach" typically ignores the existence of
individual identity configurations, and is a 'one size fits
all' approach, doomed to fail, and provoking conflict
which can surface as issues of 'lack of devotion' to the
Removal of obstacles involves teaching that it is
permissible and harmless to strip objects of meaning.
By this approach, what is made invisible, can be
allowed to become visible.
Upon seeing what had been invisible; that is to say,
what had been denied... one is allowed to see in an
Seeing in an uninhibited way, obviates and transcends
Ganga's Story [email protected]
G: not that it matters all that much but here is my
personal life story........ just so there is no confusion....
Namaste - I am now currently 52 years of age. You
could say that my only subject now is Truth.... and here
is my personal story..... Born in the US i was a searcher
for truth at a young age.. while my parents were not
overly religious i attended a Science of Mind church a
few times... my father was an avid Edgar Casey fan...
even as a young child i was drawn to the Saints and an
inner search....there were some abilities as a child such
as being able to become light enough not to sink into
snow drifts and to be able to call birds and other
animals .... These abilities receeded upon taking on
conditionings .. at the age of 18 i joined an esoteric
christian order.... during the evening rituals while
kneeling at the altar Father Blighton layed hands upon
my head. At that moment a bolt of gold light went
through my body...it was like lightening hit... absolute
gold... i entered a state of samadhi... (at the time i had
no idea of what samadhi was) this samadhi lasted a
period of 3 days.(The samadhi was consisting of the
feeling of being conected to ALL of creation yet
separate as a witness and not involved ) ... along with it
there came seeing energy... auras around people and
a purple aura around the cross on the altar and gold
around one on the wall. .... Father Blighton said that i
had just entered the first stage of enlightenment ( i do
not believe there are stages of Enlightenment, although
it was the foundation to my spiritual walk).... ..... upon
leaving the order things subsided for a number of
after leaving the order i stayed with the Krishna
Consciousness movement for about a year..... during
this time i learned much about Bhakti ...... One day
when Srila Prabhupada was coming in from his
morning walk ..... i was standing with some flower
malas and waiting for Darshan.... while walking by his
eyes fell upon me and he motioned me to follow him....
this was highly unusual as only initiate devotees of high
standing were afforded private interveiws with him..... i
never took initiation but was sincere and indeed leaded
towards the Bhakti inclinations... when we arrived within
his private quarters he asked me to place the mala's on
his Radha & Krishna deities... and with this he looked
at me point blank and said "Within This lifetime you will
reach Self-Realization"..... it is apparent that there was
a knowing within that my path was not to stay within the
krishna movement.... and yet he wanted to share this
with me.... to spur me on.... i put my hands together in
Namaste.... thanked him..... and left the order..... my
time there had come to its conclusion..... i am ever
greatful for the lessons learned while there...... From the
Krishna Consciousness movement the interim years
were spent in Internal Contemplations and in search
and understanding various religious texts.... Much
wisdom came as my prayer was always to Know the
Truth.... My singular prayer was for Truth above all
things..... At the age of 29 i decided to sit and
meditate... sitting on the floor suddenly there was a
vibration at the end of the tail bone... mulhadara
chakra.... then suddenly extreme heat rose up the
spine....going to bed that evening i could not sleep... i
complained to my husband that the birds were making
so much noise it was impossible to sleep.... it sounded
as if a hundred were in a tree all chirping at once.... i
was informed it was the middle of the night and there
were no birds.... thus started what was to be long years
of pain and numerous kundalini created
manifestations..... this lasted until completion in the year
1999.... during the time of manifestation it felt as if i
would spontaneouly combust the heat being so
intense... and the nervous system felt as if it was short
circuiting everywhere at once.... there were
spontaneous mudras (hand gestures) and kriyas that
happened.... energy moved through the body
uncontrolled.... at one time it felt as if ice cold water
were poured into the heart area.... there were dreams
of fires and snakes...
for many months and years.... the mental modifications
included extreme depression.... then feeling the pain of
the world... then as one absolutely dead... these were
all lasting over one to two years in duration... siddhis
came such as the ability to feel whatever was
happening in another persons body and the ability to
heal pain.... this process continued to unfold until
coming to india and being pulled into a nirvakalpa
samadhi.... beyond subject and object a merging within
the Self..... from that point the old self with its fears
died.... what emerged was liberation - knowing what IS
the Essense of ALL LIFE...... A Merging of Shakti into
Shiva had occured....
i am now a speaker of truth.... and willing to help others
through thier kundalini awakening experience....here is
a list of happenings... during the process:
1. Seeing lights internal and external
2. extreme heat up spine
3. nervous system extremely sensitive feeling as if
4. natural kriyas(vibrations of body - body movements
and energy in patterned movements)
5. spontaneous hand mudras
6. various sounds heard internally
7. knowledge on various subjects would be known
immediately in whole...
8. siddhis of various natures came and went
9. expanded consciousness
10. ended when Self was reached while in Nirvakalpa
Samadhi... or THAT which i term the Formless
Constant (when subject and object end in absolute
11. now resting in Anand...and the Peace Which
passes understanding... simply a stillness remains in
the Mind.... no thought a resting Silence.. ( true Mouna )
the manifestations of kundalini that were long and
difficult ended when Nirvakalpa was entered into.... the
false ideations of the limited ego self (or that which
seeks to control its limitations) ended or that which
sees itself as the form which is within life and death
was transcended....the experience of kundalini ended
within Self-enquiry... it took everything to its natural end
which is simply the beginning....... this is backed also by
Ramana Maharishis findings also...
In the end all relative knowledge that had been
aquired.... all the mysteries and ceremonies .... all the
Love and Devotion... all the sacrifice and suffering...
everything that had been held was released.... the
powers.... the ideations.... the conditionings... All was
surrendered to the Divine and in one brief moment -
that was ever eternal.... Exitance was unalterably
changed.... i no longer saw the transient as separate
from the Eternal..... no longer see the outer show as me
and Thee..... the me in the end that personality which
moves exists not - matters not.... it is simply the
ideations of limited mind created by the encapsulation
of the Formless within form...... but the Sprit is ever
FREE of form..... there is no Death.... THAT is and
always has been the ONE Eternal Nature..... and we
are simply sparks within THAT DIVINE BEING.... there
is no you and i separate... there is Simply THAT
BEING.... empty in nature.... containing all things yet
holding nothing..... That spark of Life is ever untouched
by any of the mental modifications or ideations of
form....Life is now lived in the Eternal Now....... thankyou
for allowing this story to be shared....
You may reach me at [email protected]
Michael Read [email protected]
The formal word for non-duality is advaita - just in case
you want to do a web search. You can also search the
archives of the nondualitysalon and the ndhighlights.
Well, lately they are more into donuts. :-) But there are a
lot of good folk there.
The essence of nonduality is that there is no separation
from god. That everything existing in any dimension in
any time in any place is already god. This is also the
essence of every other religion.
God is usually described as a being who is infinite in
power, knowledge and action. And the goal of our
existance is to either please, cajole, and otherwise
worship this being in order to reap great rewards - at
least to many religious views.
Where Advaita takes a radical turn from most other
religions is that there is only one being and that being
already is everything and everybody.
Advaita teachings often make reference to
understanding who one is. The understanding, simply
put is: you are already god.
Advaita also teaches that "you are already god" is a
concept that will be dropped along with all other
concepts of god when the concept called a seeker
opens up and the understanding occurs not as an
intellectual system but as the living reality.
And, like any other religion, there is always somebody
to tell you when you are doing it right and when you are
doing it wrong. <grin>
So, here's my advice to those that are still seeking.
Stop and start over. Whatever path or religion you
follow now, take a break from it and pretend that you
are coming to it the first time. Pretend that you have
never heard of it before - tell yourself that in truth you
really don't know anything about it.
When I did it came as such a shock to realize that I
really didn't know anything. I did have a beautiful
working conceptual belief system that I took great
comfort in but, I could no longer see it as being the truth.
I had to go back and reread the words of Jesus and
Buddha. I also found and devoured a small
uncommented copy of the Bagahvad Gita and delved
back into Zen. This time I found myself returning time
and again to words that kept pointing to the immediacy
I was also doing several hours of breathing meditation
daily. Just letting the mind focus on the breath without
trying to control the breath or fight with the mind. It is a
technique to bring concentration to a quiet, still and
I was also doing several hours of Qigong practice
This went on for about two weeks night and day. No, I
didn't stay up all night every night. I slept when I was
tired and ate when I was hungry.
You see, after thirtyfive years of on again off again
seeking, for some reason a decision was made that
now was the time to do it. This descision was made on
faith alone. The faith that from childhood told me that
god was real. This faith was based on the great beauty
of creation and the joy of laughter, I think. Yes.
The process took about two weeks - milage may vary.
During that period I did not have any visions, see light
forms, hear celestial music, travel to other dimensions
or perform any miracles and other such spiritual
goodies. All things I had done or experienced before
At the end of this time I was reading a passage
attributed to Buddha where he said, "When I attained
pure and perfect enlightenment, I realized that there
was no such thing as pure and perfect enlightenment!
Marvelous! Marvelous!" When I read those words
everything dropped away. All of the beliefs and
concepts dropped, my poor little mind just rolled over
and died (aiiieeeeee!) and I didn't exist anymore as
Michael Read. There was only awareness and love.
The seeking ended and life began - so to speak.
nothing higher nothing lower no you no me just this
so what's for breakfast? - michael