|Dr. Robert Puff|
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Issue #1364 - Saturday, March 1, 2003 - Editor: Christiana
up the self by the Self
And don't let the self droop down,
For the Self is the self's only friend
And the self is the Self's only foe.
The Book of Runes
Swami's 2003 State of the Universe Address
by Swami Beyondananda
Hello everybody -- it is great to be here ... and you know what?
We really have no choice. Because no matter where we are, we
are always here. And it is always now. In fact, there's even a
book called The Power of Now. I haven't had time to read it yet,
but I hope to get to it in a later now.
Meanwhile, back in this now, the issue facing the United States,
and indeed the world is, will George Bush give in to his Big Iraq
Attack and order up a war? Latest reports say that a war to force
a regime change in Iraq will cost $200 billion. It is puzzling to me
why some of those fiscal fitness fanatics in the Republican Party
haven't tried to find a cheaper way to do it. Maybe if they offered
the Iraqis half -- $100 billion -- they could do it themselves. Then
we'd still have $100 billion left to spend on regime change in this
Because -- and I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have in
charge are fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the reptilian brain,
problems aren't solved, they're attacked. Like the War on
Poverty. Remember that? I'm happy to report that it's finally over.
The poor people have all surrendered. And take the War on
Drugs -- please! How many billions have they spent? My solution
is cheaper and more effective ... improve reality!
Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize
those terrorists into giving up terrorism if it's the last thing we do!
And it just might be. The good news is -- and I have it on the
Highest Authority -- there will indeed be peace on Earth.
Whether we humans are around to enjoy it, that is up to us.
No wonder there is so much fear, uncertainty and confusion on
the planet. I'll tell you how bad it's gotten. You've heard of
Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Well, they're not even sure
about THAT anymore. And so, more and more people are
turning to the mystics for answers.
I have often said there are two kinds of mystics, the optimystics
and the pessimystics. Now pessimystics seem to be more in
touch with "reality," but optimystics are happier and live longer
for some reason. The pessimystics have been crying, "The sky
is falling, the sky is falling!" The optimystics say, "No. It just looks
that way because we are ascending."
Now, for those people who read the news -- not to mention those
unfortunate enough to BE in the news -- last year was not an
easy year to keep an optimystic attitude with so much
pessimystic evidence. Call me a hopeless "hopium" addict, but I
choose to accentuate the positive. For example, you can say we
human beings have moved further down the path of
self-destruction. Or you could say the Earth is ridding itself of a
You can despair over continuing war, disease and starvation, or
you can go, "Hey, population control the good, old fashioned way
-- without birth control or abortion." Who says "compassionate
conservative" is an oxymoron?
You can worry about the government taking liberties with our
liberties or you can say, "Life has become simpler! They've
boiled the Bill of Rights down to just one: You have the right to
So I am not going to dwell on the negative. As my guru Harry
Cohen Baba used to say, "Life is like photography ... we use the
negative to develop." So let us look at the bright side.
Like technological advances, for example. Forty years ago
President John F. Kennedy promised to have a man on the
moon by the end of the 1960s. Well, we have far exceeded that.
Thanks to the so-called Patriot Act, George Bush can have a
man on Uranus by the end of the week!
George Bush was responsible for a great spiritual advance last
year, as well. He upgraded the Golden Rule for the new
millennium. It's now the Gold Rule: "Doodoo unto others before
they can doodoo unto you."
And -- say what you will -- President Bush has made great
strides on behalf of minority representation. Never before have
we had a President who was looking out for a smaller minority.
Now this is the State of the Universe Address, and seen from
that higher perspective, things look great! I am happy to report
that the Universe continued to expand in 2002, and in fact, they
actually had to let the Photon Belt out a another notch. An
expanding Universe means more jobs too, so we can expect a
steady influx of aliens looking for work. Yep, the Universe just
keeps purring in perfection, ever-changing as usual. The planets
continue to harmoniously spin in their orbits, and except for the
occasional case of asteroids, they just calmly go about their
Meanwhile, back here on earth, things are a bit more
problematical. We still haven't fully recovered from that vicious
dogma attack of 911. But as an optimystic, I believe you can
indeed teach an old dogma new tricks, simply by changing the
emPHAsis to another sylLABle. Instead of focusing only on
emergency measures, why not take emerge 'n SEE measures?
When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from
the cosmic comic perspective, we realize that beneath all the
stress and distress and sadness in life there is a deep well of
joy. Each time we let laughter bubble up from the well, we
experience deep wellness. Levity helps us overcome gravity,
especially when we shine the light of laughter on those poorly-lit
corridors of power.
Do you know what the leading cause of terrorism is? It's
seriousness. I'm serious. Think about it. Those people have no
sense of humor. Otherwise how could they believe they will get to
heaven by putting other people through hell?
Here is my vision: A suicide bomber arrives at the Gates of
Heaven, and God clops him over the head and says,
"SCHMUCK! What'd you do that for? 72 virgins? YOU get one
72-year-old virgin, and his name starts with Ayatollah!"
But if Americans are willing to revive the Iraqi Horror Picture
Show just to feed our out-of-control oil habit, how are we that
different? How many innocents will be put through hell, just to
preserve our little corner of relative heaven? There is no real
peace without harmony and balance, only the vicious cycle of
injustice. Peons get tired of getting peed on, right? You get
pissed on, and pretty soon you're gonna get pissed off. This
causes the hot spots to flare, and pretty soon you have an
uprising, which usually results in a downfall. All these uprisings
and downfalls can be wearing on the body politic.
Fortunately, we do have a choice. One of my favorite stories
recently is about a Native American grandfather talking to his
young grandson. He tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him
struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and
kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred. "Which wolf
will win, grandfather?" asks the young boy. "Whichever one I
feed," is the reply.
Every day -- every moment -- we have the choice to feed the wolf
of love or the wolf of fear. It is interesting that we are called
humanKIND. What better time than now to find out, can mankind
treat man kindly?
I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision. I say, if you're dissatisfied
with the current programming, you can turn off your TV and tell a
vision instead. Here is my vision: Remember the Manhattan
Project during World War II? It took less than four years for a
group of scientists to develop the first weapon of mass
destruction. My vision is, we can do even better for an even
worthier goal. We could call it the Manhelpin Project, and its
purpose would be to develop the first weapon of mass
Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set to detonate
in Iraq, and put it toward becoming the worldwide leader in
renewable, clean, ustainable energy sources? Now there's some
real power. Create something so plentiful you don't have to pay
an army to protect your share. A healthy income, a healthy
outcome ... what could possibly make more sense? Boy, talk
about feeding two birds with one scone!
The choice is up to us. If we want an alternative, we must feed
the "alter native" economy ... anything that alters us natives for
the better. The world we live in is a byproduct of the products we
buy, is it not? What if we only choose to buy products with healthy
byproducts? Think about this: There are at least 45 million
Americans who consciously want to feed the wolf of peace. If
each of us switched just $100 into the alter native economy, that
would be $4.5 billion!
Last year, we launched a blisskrieg and declared "all out
peace." I'm happy to report it is already working. More people
are letting their inner peace out, and these outbreaks of peace
are actually causing esteem to rise! And we all know that rising
esteem is good for the atmosphere. As esteem rises, more
people on the planet will be able to be all that they can be --
without joining the army. And when more of us put our energy into
love and laughter instead of criticizing and condemning, we will
have Uncritical Mass ... and we will bring about Nonjudgment
Day, and along with it, Disarmaggedon. Now you might be
wondering, what will Nonjudgment Day look like? Let me tell
I have been to the heights of levity, and I have seen people all
over the world dancing together in the universal dance of fool
realization ... The Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold this vision with
me: all of the world leaders at the United Nations beginning their
sessions with the Hokey Pokey. What if Ariel Sharon and Yasser
Arafat put their whole selves in in? That would be commitment.
And then pulled their whole selves out. That is detachment. Then
they turn themselves around, which is transformation. And that,
my friends, is what it is all about!
So, how can you help raise the laugh force on the planet enough
to bring about Nonjudgment Day? First, you can take a vow of
levity, and laugh more. And we even have a Laughmore Society
to help you do just that. Next, you can support everyone's right to
laugh by joining the Right To Laugh Party ... "One big party,
everyone is invited. All for fun, and fun for all."
Commit random acts of comedy. Practice Fun Shui and leave
the world a funnier place. Anything to elicit a moment of
fool-realization with a spark of laughter. Because only when we
lovingly laugh at our foolishness, can we seriously change things
for the better . May you wake up laughing and leave laughter in
your wake ... and may the Farce be with you!
© Copyright 2003 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved.
To find out more about the Swami, and how you can promote
healing laughter and ransformational comedy through the
Laughmore Society and the Right-To-Laugh movement, go to
www.wakeuplaughing.com or call Swami's hotline at
The March issue of the TAT Forum is now online at
month's contents include: The Path (part 5) by Richard Rose
| Poems by Shawn Nevins | Thought Experiment by Shawn
Nevins | How to Be Happy by Douglas Harding | Do You Think a
Higher Power Can Help You? by Bob Cergol | What Dream of
Mind? by Bob Fergeson | Self-Knowledge by Gary Harmon |
Humor | Reader Commentary
Michael A. Read [email protected]
Shrink in a box http://www.dreamwv.com/shrink/shrink.html
Seeking the doorway to enlightenment
Vicki Woodyard NDS
Boddhisattvas needed, apply within. I saw that in
the shop window of someone's eyes the other day.
In fact, I see this in everyone's eyes. A pleading
and a longing for the help of true kindness is being
transmitted twenty-four hours a day. And yet no
one seems to have the time.
What is a boddhisattva in today's world?
Who could possibly relieve the suffering of all sentient beings?
The answer is not a who but a what, for the boddhisattvic state is
one of knowing your true nature. All blessings flow from this
I need the beauty of the buddha in my life. I
need the sound of surrender tinkling like a
brook in my bloodstream. "I sing the body
electric," said Walt Whitman. We are the
music of the spheres, if we would just stop
Silent transmission of the truth works, too; in fact, it works the
best. Ramana Maharshi's gaze is everlasting. Our own look within
reveals a diamond mine of the dharma. Surrender is a silent process
involving the demise of our own delusion. For we are not apart from
the boddhisattvas. Only our unconscious suffering seems to separate
us. Conscious suffering is the key to clear being. Not getting rid
of suffering, but transcending it.
Make no mistake about it--enlightenment is your
own darkness made conscious....made cosmic.
None of us are anything but mud and mistakes
until we rise above our tendency to lie about this.
Enlightened compassion is a gift that we receive
Photo courtesy of MSN News: A Mongolian woman prays beside a
doorway at the Kumbum Monastery (Ta'er Si) on Feb. 20 on the
outskirts of Xining in western China's Qinghai province. One of the
six great monasteries of the Yellow Hat sect of Tibetan Buddhism,
Kumbum was built on sacred ground in 1577 and is the birthplace of
the sect's founder, Tsong Khapa. Located on the Qinghai plateau,
which was once a part of Tibet and known as Amdo, the monastery
attracts Buddhists from across central Asia and western China.
of Thomas Painting by Charles Hardaker
Saying 42) Jesus said, "Become passers-by."
Among a million believers in God,
there is scarcely one
who makes God a reality.
--Hazrat Inayat Khan
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|Dr. Robert Puff|