Dear Everyone, It is so hard to find words
on this topic about whether we are victims ... yet I can
remember few if any times when I've had a greater wish to
say something useful, illuminating or comforting.
There is no blame,
no fault, no guilt .. whether we 'create our reality' or
not. After all, this reality we create or don't -- is all
an illusion ...
though it feels so poignantly painfully real ... or so
joyously,
exhilaratingly real. Like good dreams. Like nightmares.
Whatever is being created is generally unconscious. How
can we blame
ourselves, or anyone, for what is not conscious?
I've often thought,
concerning nighttime nightmares: how are these really
any different from our supposed daytime lives? We wake up
and think,
'Thank God! None of that really happened. It wasn't
real.' Yet in the
dream, our heart pounded, we felt fear or terror or
heartache. We still
experienced those events, and we had real feelings about
them. We suffered because we believed the dream to be
real. When a child or partner wakes up from a terrible
nightmare, do we just brush off their feelings because
those nightmare events never 'really' happened? Or do we
reach out and comfort that person? How loving would it be
to say, 'Get over it. It was only a dream, for crying out
loud.'
I have moments of
what I call 'seeing through the eyes of God'. I call this
seeing through the eyes of God because there is just no
way my ordinary
human mind (ego mind?) could see in this way. It's
completely beyond that
part of the mind, makes no sense whatsoever to that part.
In those
moments, I can see all human suffering as somehow 'ok' --
though that is a
completely inadequate word. On the one hand, when I'm in
that space it's as if I feel all human suffering for all
time ... which should be overwhelming.
Yet on the other
hand, while experiencing it, or somehow 'knowing' it from
within it ... I am at the same time NOT in it. I
experience something vast
and inexplicable. Words that come to mind (as usual, none
of them adequate, because they are only words) are
compassion, love, peace ... AWE.
I don't know if we
(who are 'we'?) create our reality or not. I don't know
if our reality is real or not. I don't know if this is a
school of learning
or an accidental imaginary illusion, or both. I don't
know who the 'I' is
who doesn't know ... though I suspect I know who the 'I'
is who does know. From Dean Sluyter: "Gandhi said that no
matter what we do, it will be completely unimportant,
but it is vitally important that we do it.
Absolutely, nothing matters: relatively, everything
matters. The trick is to live both of those truths
deeply, all the time. Life may be a dance that goes
nowhere But it doesn't
need to go anywhere---here it is. And if we can dance
impeccably, without
missing a step, yet with joyful abandon, it's a good
dance."
I don't know what
the 'impeccably' part means ... but the rest of that
quote
really speaks to me.
Namaste, Diana
