Click here to go to the next issue
Highlights Home Page | Receive the Nondual Highlights each day
#1796 - Thursday, May 13, 2004 - Editor: Jerry
This issue features emails to the Nonduality Salon (NDS) list and one from the mother list, I Am.
The photos were taken by editor Gloria Lee and she doesn't know I'm using them. I guess it's too late now!
What is the way to heal a broken heart? How to gather
positive energy to handle a sudden seperation from
~ ~ ~
Welcome the grief, embrace it, and enquire
gently what is it really?
~ ~ ~
leave you heart totally open, totally broken-open. When your heart
will be open 360° will become only Radiance in which "you" will
disappear and only Love will remain.
When someone leaves us we have a wonderful opportunity: to see how
Love does not come from any object, including our partner, but is
what is creating everything and everybody. This Love does not go
away, is permanent and is what you really are.
Love is not an emotion: emotions come and go, but what you really
are does not go away, never. Real Love is Unconditional, it is not a
contract, it is not exchanged by persons. When you fall in Love, you
experience this openess that come directly out of Emptiness...then
you start to pretend Love, thinking that Love is coming from the
other person and problem starts. The relatioship in that moment is
already finished, because that openess is disappeared. Just see that
the Love that you feel for a person is arising IN YOU, is totally
yours. The other person is just an excuse to discover this...say
thanks to your partner for what you shared and be open. In this
openess in this Radiance an other person will arrive that will have
all the characteristics that you loved in the other and more the
same openess you have discovered again.
TRUST: Life is our Dream and is always giving what we need to see
what we are. Sometimes we need a bit of suffering like a separation
because we have become attached to a person...if this is the case
say thanks and go ahead...if you learn the lesson that Life is
giving you with this separation a more free and open relatioship
will appear if this is what you really want. When you become open,
when you are in the acceptance, you become One with Life and God.
And in this way your willing and the willing of God become One.
With all my Love
~ ~ ~
I have a secret method for curing a broken
heart that was given to me by my
teacher. This method is given to monks because for them being infatuated
with a woman and having a broken heart is no good (very bad for meditation
Monks who practice this are not affected even when exceeding beautiful women
throw them at their feet.
They remain serene and calm without a hint of disturbance.
The method does not work perfectly for everyone and can take a couple of
weeks to a three month period for it to be effective.
I am not giving this method publicly yet but letters like this make me feel
the world needs it.
Let me give this some more thought.
Bless you all.
Love to all
~ ~ ~
Separate from separation.
( a voyage on the sea maybe?)
~ ~ ~
Follow your sense of reality, not your boyfriend or girlfriend.
~ ~ ~
A broken heart is conflict within.
Conflict within is a door, not a problem
to be solved or to be run from.
Unfortunately, we so often tend to run
To enter the door that is conflict within
us is to encounter the divisions within.
It is then for us to witness the fragmentariness
of our own inner life.
In beholding without judgement what is
within us we come face-to-face with our
own aliveness. In pain there is life, and in
life there is wholeness, and in wholeness
there is redemption.
In judging our experience as painful we
cut ourself off from life. We come to see
the pain as the issue when in truth it is
our own judgement, cutting ourself off from
life, that is the crux.
So go in, in, in and be at one with what is.
Go wherever it will take you.
~ ~ ~
The heart breaks due to many reasons. Most
often it is because of
someone breaking the trust .someone such as a friend, a lover, a
relative, a politician, a guru or a person in power. And,
unfortunately it happens .all the time. And, it will keep happening.
There is no way around it.
Many people earn their livelihood on lies, dishonesty and deception
and their survival depends on their ability to cheat you, fraud you .
upon their ability to break your heart. Many of them have years of
practice and experience doing it. They have great cheating and heart
breaking skills, .they are trained professionals. There are lot of
them in the politics, in marketing and .in other positions of power.
There is very little we can do about it. People with these skills
tend to gain power quite easily. That is their mission, and .many
times they succeed. Whenever, you run into them, you will led to the
land of promise, expectations, hope .only to be abandoned after your
utility for them is over.
That is the way it is. That is the way it has been..There is no other
way..If you are not a good cheat yourself then you got to be ready to
be cheated .anytime. If you are a good cheat, the, it is a fair game.
Give and take, they win some, you win some. Use, your debacle to
learn, .to hone up your skills and there is always tomorrow to try
As, Katie rightly puts it our perceived pain and agony doesn't come
from the reality. No matter how `good' or `bad' it is. Our pain comes
from fighting an impossible battle, our pain comes from wanting the
reality to be something else, from wanting the `what is' to be `what
is not'. It starts with things like `he shouldn't have done
this', `she should not have done that', `the world should have been
fair', `the people in power should have been truthful and honest' .
and, the failure is built-in in the expectations itself. Many times,
you are wishing that the things could have been different in the
past which is no longer there. Now, you are running a torturous
mental movie of past again and again in your mind and are making it
increasingly more torturous by repeating `this should not have
happened', `that should have been different'. It is an insane
approach, and it can only create more pain.
A better, healthier and saner approach to just accept the plain fact
and then decide what is the best thing to do next. Yes, he has
cheated me or yes, she has abandoned me; what can I do know. What is
the best thing to do: A. To sit and complain. B. To run the torturous
movie of the tormenting past even again and again. C. To confront
him/her and make him/her aware of your complain. D. To forget it and
move on towards the next mission, next person, next event. E. To
learn how to be more careful and move on. F. To take a break and
enjoy something different like .more time in nature, woods, beach, or
read a book of poetry, or enjoy music .and, thank the person involved
for giving you this opportunity.
Or, else, if all you want is .peace, then, there is nothing to be
done. Just watch the broken heart and it will mend itself. The heart
is incredibly strong and self sufficient. It knows how to love, how
to feel and it also knows how to accept and heal. You just watch the
pain whenever this pain comes on its own. Don't pass any comments,
don't label it, don't make any `what if' or `should have' remarks and
it will start losing strength, it will start losing grip and it will
start disappearing. Watching pain is a great lesson, a great exercise
in reality and it can serve as great tool and opportunity to take you
to your inner immensely peaceful reality. In the moment of pleasures
you are too `busy' chasing or running behind other `important'
things, running behind your `desires', `expectations', `hopes' and
you have no time to know the inner peace and serenity. As such, the
pain can serve as an alarm clock, a reminder .a friend and you can
use it to get closer to your eternal inner peace.
Situations are always what are .at that moment. Accepting them fully
and utilizing them the best you can is the only smart choice. Wanting
things to different .only creates pain as it is an impossible demand.
Things are just what they are, .at that moment ..
After all, you can never avoid breaking of heart, breaking of trust,
breaking of hope .they will keep breaking .again and again. All you
can do is to learn some lesions, learn to be conservative in your
hope, trust and expectations, learn to be more careful to possibly
reduce the frequency of the heart-breaks and then fully enjoy the
interval between two heart breaks. The heart was broken in the past,
it might break again ..why lose the interval in the middle, why not
fully enjoy this precious interval, this moment in .joy, celebration,
laughter .peace. Why and destroy this perfectly good moment by
running an old tormenting heart-break movie again and again in the
mind. Living it once was enough, why keep running it in the mind, why
keep living through it again and again .in the mind, .even when it is
no longer there, .even when it is a thing of the past .
Just learn the lesson and move on ..
~ ~ ~
BE Well and Mindful Wonderful New Friend.
Why trying to switch off your mind? How would
you actually be able
to do it?
There is no personal mind, there is just Mind. There is just
Consciousness. Any thought arises out of Awareness/Emptiness, there
is no such a thing like a personal thought.
You are not a thinker of that thoughts, they are arrive on their own
and you dont choose them. You are not in control of them and yet you
maybe would like to stop them.
Through pratices and tecquique many spiritual seekers try to put an
end to what is called mind, or better to the thinking
process. The mind is an activity, is a repetitive action that is
going on in Cosciousness. Its repetition gives the sense that can be
some sort of entity on its center. Its repetition happens because
Awareness is attaching itself on that particular thoughts instead
that being aware of itself.
Actually there is just Mind, there is just Consciousness. Trying to
put an end to the mind as it was a "personal process of
enlightenment" is just ego. Simply see clearly that all thoughts are
impersonal, simply notice that there is something that is always
aware of any thoughts and never changes. Thoughts come and go, they
pass like clouds. You are the empty sky, all the time. Why you want
continue to catch that coulds? Let them go.
Nothing could ever touch this peace.
This peace is Nonthingness itself.
This morning I have awoken with the word *acceptance* in the
And from one thing to other I started to understand the *there is no
good or bad* all is a part of the whole, nothing better or worse.
Everything is as it should be. But at the same time this things are
not the same between them, there is an incredible diversity.
Understanding this, creates an intense feeling of peace and self-
acceptance. I feels very good. :). Later I took a look to my garden,
and yep, it was all there. Perfect!.:)
This remembers me a phrase from D. Berkow -- "there is no
differentiateness but there is no sameness at the same time"
And precisely this lack of understanding is what produces personal
problems, social problems and international problems.
But, curiously this produces a new good and bad.
Good -- all the things and ideas who point toward this and thus
creats harmony and peace. -- dialogue, agreement, consensus
Bad -- all the things and ideas who point against this and thus
creates disharmony and war. -- fight, discrimination, totalitarism
Om Namo Bhagavathe Sri Ramanaaya
The book Sri Ramana Anubuti -"Nondual Consciousness - The Flood Tide of
Bliss" - , being Muruganar's Classic exposition of the process of his
sadhana leading up to full-blown realisation of the Self by the Grace of our
Lord Bhagavan Sri Ramana Mahrshi, has been translated into English from the
Tamil by Robert Butler. It is published by the Ramana Maharshi Centre for
Learning in Bangalore.
Robert has now written a full exposition on Bhagavan's Ulladu Narpadu, The
Forty Verses. Word by word and line by line, he analyses and explains the
words Bhagavan is using in the poem, and he looks very deeply at how the
Although the book seems quite 'tough', it can also be read at a much simpler
level, as Robert matches the phrases up with their English equivalents - so
that by working closely and carefully with the text, the reader experiences
the Forty Verses from the inside. From Deep within....
Now that the work is in the process of being worked through very carefully,
a forum has been opened where members can ask questions, clarify points, and
give valuable feedback to Rob as the work approaches its final stages.
The beauty of working in this way is that even devotees who believe that
they do not know Tamil at all can, by carefully reading over the sections
and reading the lines over several times, acquire a feel for the magic of
Bhagavan's poetry; and they will find that step by step they could soon
reading it in the original.
The forum is also a meeting point for devotees to ask questions, where they
can help in clarifying issues, whilst at the same time providing valuable
feedback to the author. In this way the book is seen as "Everybody's", in
the same way that Bhagavan Ramana Himself dances in the Heart of every soul,
inside every Being.
It has indeed also been the experience for some that by a careful study of
the matter in hand, the process of the Investigation of the Self is
initiated automatically; in this way Bhagavan reaches out to us holding and
nurturing devotees in his compassionate hand.
Because of the serious and concentrated nature of this forum, membership is
restricted, as only sincere applications for membership are entertained.
This is to discourage frivolous applications.
An important feature is that the book is also being prepared in
easy-to-follow Roman letters which accurately reflect the Tamil script
which is used in the original book. The first four verses in Roman letters
have already been uploaded to the Files area in PDF format, and all
postings on the group are written in Roman letters. Tamil natives can also
download the book in the original script. Transliteration keys and files to
get you started are uploaded onto the Files section. It is also undertaken
to explain via postings, as often as necessary, points which are not
A simple "Walthrough" of the Forty is underway, and we have only just
started on verse two, so it's a good time to join.
The tape with the sung chant of the Forty Verses is available from Sri
Ramanasramam, Tiruvannamalai, South India. It is the cassette called
"Tuesday" (sevvaaykizhamai), which is part of the Tamil "Parayana" of which
there are five other tape cassettes. The "Tuesday" tape starts with the
singing of Upadesa Undiyar and moves onto the Forty Verses along with the
Supplement. It's recommended that members acquire a copy of this tape in
order to familiarize themselves with the haunting cadences of the words.
Who am I this time?
I am reminded of an old movie i once saw. It is a wonderful
short, done from a short story by Vonnegut, if i remember
correctly. It stars Christopher Walken and Susan Sarandon.
I think it was titled Who Am I This Time.
I was reminded of it as it pertains to how we believe in the
personality we construct, like a sick actor who mistakenly
believes he is the character he plays.
I highly recommend you see this, if you haven't already...or if you
already have, perhaps you might want to see it again.
The character in the movie has a slightly different problem....
It's a small masterpiece.
this afternoon I went to a little
cafe-bookshop near the beach.
It was just on sunset and all the white-painted buildings were glowing in
the soft golden light. I'll post a picture some time.
I bought a card, (this one) and sat down to drink my coffee.
Nearby there was a woman feeding two babies who were sitting in a kind of double-barrelled stroller. Their shoes had come off and they were playing with their toes, the way babies do.
I walked over to their table and asked the mum if I could say hullo to them. She was very happy so I looked at the closest, and made a kind of gurgling sound and the baby engaged with me totally. She smiled, then looked away, and then looked back again, and kept on looking back and smiling and waving her arms.
The babies were twins, not identical twins, but both girls, and they were seven months old.
Their mother was a sweet young woman, so in love her baby daughters and so happy that I had seen with my heart what beautiful souls they are. And she was delighted that her daughter was relaxed and confident and happy, not at all shy, and showering me with smiles. She, the young mother, kept making little surprised sounds,"Oh!" and "Look!", and we kept exchanging glances and smiles and happiness. Oh the happiness! It was a circle of happiness as golden as the evening sun. I kept thinking, "This is simply Grace; nothing one could do would bring such happiness as an entitlement; this is the overflowing generosity of the Divine."
I was meditating in a forest by a stream. My mind
was a bit stirred up as I walked to the spot, but
as I sat it quieted down. How can I describe the
breath-taking beauty? It was as if melted into a
deep puddle of feeling that was hued by leaves
and tree trunks, rock and water, and pierced by
crystal sounds. A squirrel came down from a tree
a ways away, looked at me, fussed around but
gradually worked closer and closer until he was
peering at me from a few feet, his forlegs
perched on a branch that lay near my feet. He was
young and there was a softness about him. Not
just his fur, but a tenderness in his gaze. In a
few moments he had skittered off again.
Later that night I was meditating at home. The
presence of that squirrel was suddenly so great
in my mind. I felt pierced by that presence.
"Squirrel dharshan," I thought. And a deep
feeling of blessing poured through me.
Bill Rishel 10-2002
top of page