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#1842 - Monday, June 28, 2004 - Editor: Jerry

Rudra Breathing Practice as taught by Kali Ma

Directions for Rudra Practice:

Rudra practice comes to us through Swami Rudrananda and is
used to digest and release tensions, karmas, stuck emotions. It is
used to expand and strengthen the energy body and to draw in
nourishing energy from a higher more refined source. We grow by
drawing in nourishment, information and light, from higher energy,
from the next level of being, from the next or higher dimension. It
is traditionally done with eyes open, looking at a picture of a
master, saint or your guru, the picture of whom should be a few feet
away from you and higher than you. This practice may also be used in
person, open eyed, looking at your guru and drawing energy from them.
It may also be used with eyes closed drawing energy from the
universe, or from the teacher in their subtle form. Practice should
be done gently, without straining the breath, for 30 minutes twice
daily in the morning and evening time. Practice should be done
sitting up right in an easy crossed leg position with the hips
propped up higher than the knees so that the spine can relax. Sitting
in a chair is also acceptable if necessary.


Sit quietly, settling down and breath a few breaths,
becoming present and relaxing yourself. Breathe until you can
tangibly feel yourself breathing energy. The whole of the cosmos and
the body is energy, as the teachings of Tantra Yoga reveal, as modern
physics reveals, and as the experience of meditation reveals. Become
aware of the energy centers of the body, where energy is
concentrated, noticing each center until there is a tangible shift in
energy. This should be done be sensitively feeling. Notice the root
of the body, the creative center, the place a few inches below the
navel, the heart center, the throat, the third eye and the crown.
Then notice, FEEL the place just above the crown. From that place,
begin to inhale and exhale as if you are inhaling in the crown,
drawing in higher energy, drawing it down into the lower centers and
allowing it to fill through the belly/low back. When you exhale, the
energy and breath travels from the root up and out the crown, rising
up and out.

Part One: Inhale and hold the Breath Continue in this way, and on the
next inhalation, draw in breath and energy into the heart. Hold this
breath in your heart. Relax as you hold the breath, allowing the
light to expand and relaxing the heart deeply. Pray to grow. Pray
that your longing to grow would grow, surrender your heart to growth.
Swallow, allowing the swallowing to help the heart relax more, and
bring deeper awareness to the inner opening.

Part Two: Exhale a fifth of the breath Then Exhale from the heart up
through the crown, exhaling a fifth of the breath up and out the
crown, inhale again, drawing that higher energy down deeply into you
from above the crown, into the crown, past your heart and down into
your navel and lower centers.

Part Three: Hold the breath in the lower centers. Hold the breath and
energy in the lower centers, deeply relaxing and allowing it to break
up any density there, dissolve any patterns, digest any stuck
emotions, breath and energy permeating the lower centers. Fully
relaxing as you hold this breath and allowing it to expand within you
as an inner light filling in through the lower centers and dissolving
any darkness.

Part Four: Exhale up and out the crown Exhale up and out the crown,
allowing the breath to rise up the central channel, up and out the
crown. As the breath rises, surrendering and release any tensions. As
the breath rises, opening and absorbing the energy liberated by the
practice. The breath rises up and out of you as a fountain of light.

Part Five: Return to regular breath Returning to the regular flow and
pace of breath, but with great consciousness, drawing in energy and
awareness as nourishment on the in breath, and exhaling out tensions,
surrendering tensions, and resistance. When the breath comes in it is
held for a moment and soaks into your being.

Part Six: Repeat After a few minutes of deeply relaxing in this way,
when there is a tension or distraction or more to digest, repeat the
flow of the Rudra breath (part one through five). Approximately 8
Rudra breaths per half an hour should be done.


Excerpt from Uttering Her Name, by Gabriel Rosenstock


Dar Óma
       what speeded them on their way?
          what distances did they travel?
              the sky was full of falling stars ...
               You draw down too much light -
      soon the heavens will all be bare


Dar Óma
I went looking
for You
and found You
in the flight of swallows
in the darkening air
it seemed they wished
to fan the dying sun
to flame 


Dar Óma
look at this full fruit
falling for You every time

this tree
its limbs Yours
oozing sap
its roots

its perfume Yours

lichen clings to bark
hold me

deep deep down You are always there
awaiting my blossoming in You

kirtan of singing leaves


Dar Óma
holding Your image before me
on a screen
increasing percentages
until You disintegrate
like some forgotten galaxy
calling You back again
a retrieval
a respite from senseless oblivion

I know that stars are born
only to die
we see the light
of heavenly bodies
long since gone

this also I know:
Your light shines in me
the universe holds no terror


 Dar Óma
You are not yet of my time
we do not eat together
sleep together
rise together

I will get up three hundred hours earlier
make toast in the middle of the night
smother it with honey

the moon will look in the window

out on the street
an urban fox

his tail catching
the first light of dawn



Dialogue with Mario Sanasi

The SEEING is here and NOW

Q: Can you please explain what you mean
by the 'seeing'.

A: The SEEING is the Universal Awareness which is shining in you
   RIGHT NOW. It is the REAL YOU. It is what PERCEIVES, is AWARE, of
   everything. It is not the same as physical 'seeing' or vision from
   your eyes. It is what is aware of EVERYTHING, including your
   physical vision. It is what SEES all your thoughts and
   experiences. It is the ONE and ONLY perceiver. It has NO SECOND.

Sit there and close your eyes for a moment and allow thoughts to

( ... some moments pass)

A: Ok, you can open your eyes.You know how you could 'see'... , were
   'aware of' those thoughts? Well, THAT is the SEEING. And it's that
   SEEING which sees all of the experiences.

Q: And can you explain what you mean by the Now.

A: Everything happens in the Now. The REAL YOU is shining here and
   Now. The past and the future do not exist. What you call past &
   future are only THOUGHTS about the past or the future which you
   are experiencing on the SEEING in the Now.

Q: But how is it that things change? In the past I was a little
   child, now I am an adult. Time has gone by.

A: Change happened, but it happened in the Now. The physical
   manifestation is in constant change, it can't not be. Show me
   anything in the physical world that won't sooner or later change.
   It can't help but change. Your body for example is in a constant
   state of change. However, all of that change happens instant by
   instant in the Now. This instant you are in the Now, ten seconds
   from Now, when you are in that instant, you will be in the Now.
   Three weeks from now at 5pm you will be in the Now. You cannot be
   in anything else but the Now. Everything happens on what you could
   call the Now Screen. So, to answer your question, when you were a
   child, you experienced that, instant by instant, in the Now. Now
   that you are an adult you are experiencing that, instant by
   instant, in the Now. It ALL happens in the Now. Now that you are
   an adult you can only bring up a thought (a memory) of your
   childhood. But that thought can only be brought up in the Now.
   EVERYTHING can ONLY happen in the Now. Time itself is only a
   concept which happens in the Now.

Q: What do you mean time is only a concept? Time passes. If we make
   an agreement to meet somewhere in two weeks then that meeting will
   happen in two weeks, not now.

A: Yes, but when we meet in two weeks, at that instant it will be
   Now. Nothing else exists but the Now. You can't not be in the Now!

Q: Ok. But is it really useful to understand this?

A: It's incredibly useful! Most people are actually prisoners of
   their thoughts! They follow what their thoughts say like puppets.
   They take their thoughts and feelings so seriously. Realise that
   you are not your thoughts or feelings. You are what's looking at
   them. And you are looking at them always IN THE NOW on what you
   could call the Now Screen. That Now Screen is where it all
   'happens'. It's where all the thoughts & emotions are experienced.
   Anything that goes on that Now Screen, if you hook onto it, will
   take you for a ride and effect your life in some way. Thoughts can
   only happen one by one on the Now Screen. And it's those thoughts
   which (because you think that they are you and you take them so
   seriously) run your life! Once you are more aware instant by
   instant that YOU ARE NOT the thoughts and experiences that are
   flashing up on your Now Screen you will be able to detach yourself
   from them.

Read the rest of the dialogue at



Michael Prayag, Awareness Guide

I bring you the truth that Self-realization is not dependent on
ritual, mantras, chants, trips to ashrams in India, bathing in the
Ganges, initiation, or submission to a guru; and it does not require
that you escape from the world of activity.

My given name is Michael. When I perform the function of Awareness
Guide, I use the last name of Prayag, being the original name of what
today is the city of Allahabad in Uttar Pradesh, India. It is the
site of the Sangam - the convergence of three rivers: the Ganges; the
Yamuna; and the mythic Saraswati. It is the location where I was
privileged to submerge myself in Mother Ganges in a ceremony of
personal significance. Using the name Prayag serves to remind me of
that joyous occasion, and also to remind me of the great debt that I
owe to that River of Knowledge - the long line of Vedic teachers
especially Adi Shankara (seventh century CE) and Shri Poonja (Papaji)
(late twentieth century CE).

It took me 35 years of searching and struggle to realize what I had
been told at the outset, namely that Self-realization is, for any of
us, so very close at hand. Blessed though I was with meeting and
spending considerable time with Vedic teachers (four Swamis; a
Swamini; a Professor; a Psychiatrist; and in India, a Jagad Guru) and
though also blessed with the many translations of teachings from the
past, the problem remained that I still could not find unity in the
disparate elements, and so I felt forced to continue my search.

Finally it came together; but, I remained silent.

Given my recent brush with death, and my timely heart transplant, I
have come to understand that my duty in this particular lifetime
requires me to speak about my private practice in an effort to help
others know Self-realization. Therefore, if you are open to it, I
will try to spare you the unnecessary years of searching and
struggle. I offer to help you uncover the treasure that is within.

Upon hearing what I have to say, an advanced seeker will immediately
become Self-realized. But most in attendance, if not all, will take
longer. The actual length of time will depend on individual
sincerity, mental health, and the ability to discriminate between
what is real and what is unreal. My goal is to make your personal
delay as short as possible.


  Editor's note: In the writing below, Moller de la Rouviere shows that it's important to question everyone and everything. For all we know, the most famous Gurus of all time are nothing more than mafia-like figures who are using their unique grip on a manifestation of reality to turn it into a hypnotic charm. The Highlights is a way of bringing you these fantastic charms. They're nothing more than that. --Jerry  

Moller de la Rouviere  

Dear Jerry,  

Thanks for this piece of writing by Nisargadatta Maharaj.  I have always felt that Nisargadatta is formost amongst the Advaita teachers.  Somehow he always seems to put an angle of things that shows the originality of his understanding and insight.  

However, the problem I have with all the Advaitist teachers, is that they seem to have an inherent contradiction in the way teach their philosophy.  In the piece you send out from Nisargadatta, this particular Advaitist dlimemma is well illustrated.   Allow me please to put some possible substance to the above remarks.  

Nisargadatta: Neither ignorance nor illusion ever happened to you. Find the self
to which you ascribe ignorance and illusion and your question will
be answered.

(M) To my understanding, if ignorance and illusion were not the dilemma of our ordinary human condition, it would not have been necessary to 'find the self'.  To find the self is to start from the premise that the self has to be searched for and only when this 'self' is found, will the problem of 'ignorance and illusion' be solved.  So indeed there is work to be done.  One cannot by merely assuming that because 'ignorance and illusion' are not present in the state of 'self', these are not debilitatingly present in the state of ignorance and confusion which is our ordinary human condition.  'Ignorance and confusion' most definitely 'happened 'to us.  In fact to my understanding we keep these active and alive from moment to moment by actively participating in our own processes of ignorance and confusion.    

N: You talk as if you know the self and see it to be under the sway of ignorance and illusion. But, in fact, you do not know the self, nor are you aware of ignorance.  

(M) To recognise one's life to be under the 'sway of ignorance and confusion' is NOT to say that it is the 'self' that is under the sway of these.  This is an old Hindu concept, and my sense is that Nisargadatta just quotes this as a matter of habit.  But in reality, the pain of ignorance and confusion is sufficient unto itself.  We are indeed aware of these when they are active in the deluded state.  We cannot fool ourselves away from the pain of ignorance and illusion.  When these are present, we are aware of nothing but the pain resulting from this state of gross ignorance.  It is not clear what Nisargadatta exactly means by the 'self', but it is perfectly true to say that if he means by this term the non-dual state of wholeness, then knowledge cannot touch it.  Isolated as a movement within itself, knowledge is the very essence of ignorance and illusion.  This Nisargadatta confirms very beautifully in the following statement:  

N: It is in the nature of creative imagination to identify itself with its creations.  

This is the crux of the whole matter. This is why I say we are doing ignorance and illusion to ourselves from moment to moment.  

N: By all means, become aware, this will bring you to the self and you will realize that there is neither ignorance nor delusion in it.  

Again, whatever the 'self 'is?  Again this is an old Hindu concept that has had great mileage over the many centuries it has been with us.  But what is this 'self' Nisargadatta talks about?  To put it differently:  What is it within our human potential that can make us say there is 'self' where the state of illusion and ignorance is no more?  What happened to this 'self' while ignorance and illusion formed the basis of our lives?  What happened to us when the self was indeed 'obscured' and 'under the sway of ignorance and illusion'?  These are fundamental questions any serious enquirer into these matters may have to ask h/herself, before just assuming that illusion and ignorance 'never happened' to us.  

N: It is like saying: if there is sun, how can darkness be? As under a stone there will be darkness, however strong the sunlight, so in the shadow of the "I-am-the-body" consciousness there must be ignorance and illusion. Don't ask 'why' and 'how'.  

(M) Why not ask ourselves these questions?  Nisargadatta himself offers some vague answers to these questions he says we should not ask.  What is wrong for us to take matters into our own hearts and minds and attempt to enquire for ourselves into the nature of our own ignorance and illusion?  Or is Nisargadatta suggesting that we should just take the authority of the gurus for granted?  I think not.  But he is treading on dangerous grounds here.  To my understanding it is the task of the guru to point to the problems and maybe to suggest answers and possible solutions.  But it is also most definitely the task of the guru to allow the serious student of life sufficient space and freedom to look at these matters for h/herself.    The above is just for what it may be worth.  

Love to you all,
Moller de la Rouviere

Judith Adams  


Strange to be living at the outpost.
What is going on
Behind the city walls.

People seem to celebrate
Something all day long.
The market place noisy, the music

Good. If you are tired of telling tales,
I understand, I have done that kind of
commerce. You too will grow older

and make your way here.
The view across the landscape
Especially at sunset is lovely.

Everyday it is easier to impress
Yourself, you grow fond of the
Slow moving hour as your witness.

You grow fond of your own erotic
Nights, more passionate,
more complete.

You and I have found a way to
worship, and it doesn't involve
praying in unison, kneeling

at noon, or bowing to anyone.
it takes a lot of youth to
pry open the stiff and difficult

borders of the heart, forget the
tools, the expense is not worth it,
You need strong fingers a

devotion not always found in mosques
or churches. it is a holy day today
You are peeling away to the

Soft inner fortress, and there you
are innocent of any
Spoken word.


This is the day to
Find Potatoes. The
Wind has set
Everything off.

Underneath feathers
peck sideways. A
Lovely madness
in the garden, and I am

Digging for Apples of the
Earth. Pale moons
Asleep in darkness.
This is what the

Angels do on a
Windy night.
they dig us up
And smile. For we

Have grown at
Different rates.
Into all shapes
and sizes.


He knew for months her body ached for his.
He knew how easily she would
come to him, the crooked smile, the
blond innocent levity, her enthusiasm
for his unbinding his unraveling from

She knew though something of the worst,
the heat, the constant watching, and listening.
her day at the office overshadowed by a perhaps
Death, a perhaps terrible mistake, or amputation.
She held him in the front page of the newspaper
the wing tips still visible.

Her T shirt lifting from her waist, from her jeans,
From her belly, his large trained and
Tanned arms around her, as if they had never
held a gun, as if over her shoulder he
searched for himself
on the horizon.  

The Self Awareness Institute was founded in 1985 in Laguna Beach,
California, by Steven S. Sadleir, Jim Smith, and a group of yoga
teachers at the encouragement of several Spiritual Masters for the
purpose of creating a spiritual community built on unconditional love
and designed to fully enlighten the consciousness of all. It has
thousands of members around the world, and is open to anyone with a
sincere desire to Enlighten and help create an enlightened world.

Earl McHugh  


I have only a few problems with the so-called course in Consciousness (, which I have seen before. Like the good old-time Buddhists, they tell you that you can see that there is no I just be looking, etc.  

        Only 2 slight problems with that: who ever said that "I" is an object?Next, when they " look " for this nonexistent object I wonder what tool they are looking with, since no one would suggest that you can actually see inside your body ( if that is where they are looking )  Like some teachers I have read who suggest that there  is no such thing as mind, because you cannot see it. They really don't know the difference between a concept and an object.          

Oh, well, I suppose all of its happy readers are totally without problems - including the mundane ones, so presumably their non-existent bodies will just rot, particularly without food, shelter, etc, so there is no one to do for them, and then there is just......sheer Awareness!!!!!!!!!    

Ronda LaRue is a writer, artist, and retreat facilitator living in Ojai California. Trained as a social psychologist, and having experienced the profound realization of personal undoing, Ronda's primary life work is dedicated to the Sacred Relationship of creative living  

Remembering Who You Really Are:  

A Journey Into The Mystic by Ronda LaRue  

...only a paradox comes anywhere near to comprehending the fullness of life”
– C.G. Jung  

The yearning drive to find meaning in one’s life, the deep desire to know why we are here, the hope of healing, the ability to express the fullness of ourselves – and the fears that keep us from this Self-Realization – these are the very core drivers of our actions, our feelings and our beliefs, each moment of each day. This deep yearning for, and sensing of, “something more” commingled with an incessant fear of being hurt and obliterated is both the biggest block, and our surest avenue, to freedom.  

Each person alive, at his deepest core, wants to know and truly express the fullness of who he is. At the root of ourselves, this is the story we all seek to live. When this seeking is made conscious, it becomes the pathway to our freedom in Self-Realization.   This is the story of finding that freedom. It is the story of that which we all most desire – to live in the full realization of Who we really are – and the journey that is required to do so. This is what the ancient mystical traditions and wisdom schools have always been about: the transformational journey of consciously stepping “into the mystic,” and remembering Who you really are.  

Read more about this book at the Amazon site:

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