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#2827 - Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - Editor: Jerry Katz  

The Nondual Highlights

One: Essential Writings on Nonduality:    


Happiness Is a State of Not Desiring


When are you the happiest—when you are desiring something or not? Happiness and desiring cannot co-exist because desiring is an assumption that something is missing, and what can be happy about that? We think we enjoy desiring, but do we really? Through fantasizing, we like to pretend we already have what we desire. But what is better—having what you want or having a fantasy about what you want? Desiring creates a sense of lack when there is no reason to feel lack, and fantasies reinforce this sense of lack.


This moment is exactly as it is meant to be. What is missing in that? The ego’s answer to that is “a lot,” but is that true? Are you going to take the ego’s word for it? When you are aligned with essence, nothing has changed about whatever is happening, but suddenly everything seems just fine the way it is. If you have had even one moment like this, you know it is possible for many more moments to be like this. Nothing changed but your state of consciousness. You changed your mind, or more accurately, you moved out of your mind and into your Heart, where it is possible to feel that this moment is exactly right—for now.


Every moment is completely unique, and it is not long before it changes into something else. We are participants in each moment, but we are not creating it nor do we have the power to change it (it is already too late for that). We do shape the next moment to some extent with our choices, but so much else that is beyond our control is appearing in every moment that we can hardly assume we are central to it; and yet, that is the ego’s attitude. The ego assumes that it can control and change reality, and that its desires are an adequate reason to do so. This is egocentric and unrealistic, and it is good to see this. Once we do, we can relax and stop trying so hard to change things according to our will.


There is another will at work here, much more powerful than ours. It is making life happen all around us, and we are only a small part of this ever-moving, ever-changing experience that we call the moment. We can stand in awe of it, play in it, rejoice in it, or we can lament that it is not the moment we wanted. The ego’s relationship to the moment is ludicrous, although the ego doesn’t see it that way. Fortunately, we are able to separate ourselves from this point of view. What a blessing to see the truth, and what a burden it has been to try to control, change, and fix this blessed moment. Once you are done with that, you can begin to enjoy the moment just the way it is.


 It is really possible to enjoy life no matter what is happening because the only one here who is not enjoying life is the ego. There is something else that is enjoying it immensely, and you are That! The secret that happiness lies within is this secret that you are that which is happy, has always been happy, and will always be happy. And the only thing that has kept you from seeing this is the ego. Now that you know yourself as other than the ego, it doesn’t matter how the ego sees things. Let it complain, judge, desire, fear, and try to cause problems. It is like a lunatic in the attic that you can just ignore. Its judgments, complaints, fears, and desires do not have to be yours anymore. They never really were yours. They were just the conditioning you were given.


The more you stop listening to the egoic mind, the more you realize just how unnecessary it is. However, you have to trust this enough to stop listening to it, and that can take time. The unraveling of the attachment to the egoic mind is usually a slow and gradual process, although at times the unraveling happens very fast. Of primary importance in this process is your willingness to detach from it, which entails a willingness to question it and then not believe it. You question what the egoic mind tells you until your belief in it becomes so weak that you are convinced it has nothing of value to say. Eventually, you get to the point where as soon as you hear its voice, you ignore it and put your attention elsewhere.


There will still be some thoughts that seem like they are your voice and not the ego’s. Those are the ones you are still identified with. Those are the ones you still believe. When you agree with some thought and speak it, it is an opportunity to question it. This is your remaining conditioning, which needs to be seen. So, you ask: Is that really true? You may find that when you speak these thoughts, they feel false or hollow, like they lack solidity and truth. This is a sign that you don’t really believe them anymore, and eventually, you will be done speaking those too.


This process usually goes on for quite some time, even years, because most of us have considerable conditioning that needs to be seen and let go of. This process needs to be accepted, and it can’t be rushed. If you don’t accept it, you will find yourself contracted and suffering over your progress. The ego will berate you for not being more enlightened if you let it, so this is one more thing to be seen.


Copyright 2007 Gina Lake


Excerpted from Anatomy of Desire: How to Be Happy Even When You Don’t Get What You Want by Gina Lake.


Gina Lake has a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and over twenty years experience supporting people in their spiritual growth. She is also the author of several other books on spirituality, including: Living Your Destiny, Radical Happiness, Return to Essence, and Choosing Love. Gina is available for astrological and channeled phone consultations that support spiritual awakening. For more information or to order her books or read excerpts or to download Radiance: Experiencing Divine Presence for free, visit

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