Jerry Katz
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Highlights #29

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[] When we stop 'telling' each other what we have been 'told' and start
telling people what we 'know' we begin to develop a 'bond' of true
'understanding'. In other words, we can really say that for the first time...
"this much I know" and mean it. Does this change our 'spin' on the truth?
Absolutely not! It 'humbles' your truth which then allows it to influence you
in 'accord' with your common sense of goodness thus bubbling up to where you
can begin to 'see' your 'self' thus giving you more and more 'self-control'.
You literally blossum like flower and then continue to do so.... :o). .... or
so I am told....

Jerry :

In perhaps his most famous response to one who requested him to preach
the Dharma, Buddha simply held up a flower and gazed at it. One of his
venerable disciples understood in that moment, and smiled, and Zen
Buddhism was born.

By Dharma is meant to act within one's nature. So to gaze at a flower is
to gaze at what is already complete. Buddha did not bother to give a
koan or a mantra. He did not talk about breathing. In the moment of
gazing at the flower and the arising of the smile, what breath was
there? Breath was held. It was not even held. There was no breath. There
was simply What Is.

So what you say, Tim, and what I say, all that's fine. But learning from
Buddha, we see that there is nothing to do, no flowering that has to
occur. No koan to be answered. There's no mantra to be captured in one's
heart like a pod. What there is is the flowering already.

It may be awhile before a person sees that. It may appear that one has
to 'flower' and that only when one has flowered will one understand
Buddha's gesture. All one ever comes to see is that there was always the
flower always there to be gazed at. And then the smile comes. And some
call that e-n-l-i-g-h-t-e-n-m-e-n-t.

From: Marcia Paul

I have been pondering the concept of core wounds and
trying to make observations in myself. This has been a
very interesting task.

I was talking about my observations with my friends today
in our weekly get together. The discussion centered around
the idea of being able to touch the wound. Just to simply
touch it and hold still and bear it I guess would be the best
way to say it.

One thing that I noticed in myself and I have noticed this
before but not frequently and I seem to forget it is this
kind of nervousness or anxiety surrounding my feelings.
The best way I can describe it is I can see my mother
wringing her hands and fussing over little Marcia and
whether she was okay or not. So little Marcia got the
"picture" imprinted fairly early that her little feelings
were something to be worried about.

And if I look back at my mother's history she came
from a large family of thirteen children. She was fourth
in line and it was the depression and they were dirt farmers.
She had an alcoholic father who beat the children and she
never ever talked about her upbringing. I was her only
child and I can see that I wanted/needed to fill those
gaping wounds in her (me?). She was very anxious in
her body and was unable to properly nurture as she was
never nurtured. She did love me very much and I her but
somehow I could never make it okay. It gets passed on
and hopefully as I see it I heal it in my children as well as

Anyway as I was driving today I felt very needy. What was
different was that I said to myself that I was feeling needy.
I allowed myself to touch the neediness. I really felt needy.
I didn't blame someone "out there" for not appreciating me.
The really truly amazing thing was that I saw that something
inside/interior to the neediness could indeed nurture that


From: Jerry M. Katz

It is that which fills the spaces in your life.

It is that which you've named and instructed others upon.

It hides behind trees and takes cloud cover.

You weep.

And when it comes out

It is bright and seems to follow you.

It has led you

To a clear night

In the desert.

You see it is simply always there.

You return to those who name you Teacher.

And who ask you

What led you to the desert?

What happened there?


From: Xan


From where is the I arising? Plunge there. Beyond 'I' you don’t know. This
place isn’t known to anyone. You plunge in and see. This is inquiry. Dive
into the unknown. Then there is no ego.


From Jerry:

I was going through some writings and came upon this, so I refreshed it,
and submit it as a cool choice for a hot day. Today the same park is
teeming with families and well-fed squirrels.

It is nicely snowing in Nova Scotia and, knowing that a large and
popular park by the ocean would be vacant on what is normally one of its
most populous days of the year, I suggested we take a walk along the
Atlantic stretching out like a quiet holy presence, and through and
around the intertwining network of narrow paved and dirt roads slipping
through the gathered high and scented pines. We were practically alone.
It was cold and wet.

As the park's trails wind here and there, seeming always to be in
celebration of the perfect unchanging ocean, I realize that so do all
these streams of email on these forums weave a structure which is a
celebration of an overall holiness.

At the core of each of these electronic communications is recognized and
heard a silent holy presence, the true Guru, the quiet unchanging ocean.

People communicate from that disposition the best know how. They follow
and carve endless trails in the park that celebrates the ocean. We are
in satsang with the silent holy presence. And we are the sangha.



Unusually hot here today, I've been swimming.
Primal mind is ocean human mind is salt.
" Like salt from water
I issue from my heart."-Salvatore Quasimodo


There is a brasilian song that says:" this afternoon,
the sky is overcast but the storm is past. In a small
opening between the clouds over the west, by the hills,
a sun ray got his way through, like a sword, liberating
the earth..."


Jerry wrote:

It seems that no matter how refined perception gets, or attuned
awareness is, or how nondual anyone is, that when communication takes
place, a layering-out occurs, whether it is a layering of the stages of
life or the bodies of man or epochs of evolution or kinds of attention
or qualities of silence. The occultists and the physicist would point to
the white light and its composition of seven colors of the rainbow. Even
the two quotes above could each find categorization in terms of seven
types. I know it sounds New Age and occult, but there's truth and beauty
to it.

Andrew responded:

Any attempt at communicating here has an element of trickery to it.
Words are put forward as truth in full knowledge that they are devices.
Even the simplest statement 'I am' has endless layers.

Jerry writes:

Since the full picture -- or the seven layers of any perspective -- are
never fully offered in a single communication (the sixth and seventh
layers might be said to be wordless anyway, though we have found words
here!) -- there's always someone offering to fill-in a layer or two, and
then the original communicator sometimes feels he or she has to explain
that they were aware of that layer of understanding but for whatever
reason chose not to express it.

In my own communications, when I do my best to point to one or another
layer of understanding, and someone else fills it in with other layers,
I rarely respond. I don't take it as someone filling-in "my" knowledge;
I take it in the spirit that someone wishes to enjoy the expression of a
different layer of understanding, just as I have enjoyed looking at a
particular layer.

And it's possible that I don't understand all layers of understanding,
such as the layers within layers, in which case I am educated by
another. So, though I spoke of seven layers, it is clear that each layer
has a certain number of layers, and those layers have layers. Anyone who
doubts it need only read Alice Bailey's A Treatise On Cosmic Fire.


From: "Maurice" <[email protected]>

The Toto Bardoque Party

If you enjoyed the Unicorn Barbeque you will enjoy the Toto Bardoque Party.
You don't even have to leave your body to attend as you are already there.
But here now we are going to roast Toto, you know, that little doggie in the
Wizard of Oz.. Oh no, you exclaim! Sorry, but that is the nature of the Toto
Bardoque. Oh, I should mention that Toto is a short nickname for Total, for
What Is, manifested or not. One might call that the Noumen or Total
Subjectivity, or Consciousness, perhaps, but here it is just that little
manifested doggie Toto for short, ha ha. Toto is Good Food, I assure you,
particularly when eaten don't worry, Toto isn't going anywhere,
Toto is immortal, but nevertheless this is a Bardoque. Now what the hell
does that mean?

Normally, Gombies (my temporary name for homo sapiens living the waking
dream in their normal condition of sleep... which also could be called the
waking dead) are in a trance-like condition in the process of separating
from their dead bodies (the physical-mechanical apparatus with which they
identify in the relatively unconscious process of evolving consciousness.
The Trance is the normal consciousness and is also known as the "Chikhai
Bardo of which I am taking certain liberties...

To come to a Toto Bardoque is to begin to realize that Reality is Toto
:))Consciousness, and when eaten Whole (non-dually), there is no more
hunger or Bardoques that need be attended.

Now, apparently, very few will actually consciously come to this Bardoque,
although many may participate more frequently in the "Chonyid and Sidpa
Bardoques. But here, in the Bardoquing of Toto, bless Its infinite Doggie
Heart, there is Final Release in All. What more could you possibly want to
eat? Come today. Partake of Toto. Through off that Gombieism (again, Gombies
are dead but don't realize they are dead ...the ego-consciousness thinks it
is making life)! Dance and be merry at this Toto Bardoque or tomorrow you
may just be another Gombie where the tail is wagging that dog to death, ha
ha. Barf, Barf, it up, that indigestable ego lump of illusion creating
power-thumping tails or heads? Hey, it's raining tails and heads and Toto's
all over and Noone is doing everything. Time for the Toto Bardoque Party is
High Noone. See Ya....:)



<< In perhaps his most famous response to one who requested him to preach
the Dharma, Buddha simply held up a flower and gazed at it. One of his
venerable disciples understood in that moment, and smiled, and Zen
Buddhism was born.

I also read, in a biography of Buddha, that he would hold
discourses for groups of people, teaching at various levels
for the people who were present. When he saw someone
he could see was ripe he would specially address them and
assist their breakthrough.

All our ideas of what communication is or should be break down, as well as
our ideas of enlightenment and how it/we should be.

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Jerry Katz
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