Jerry Katz
photography & writings

The wind carves shapes into the beach sand

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Nonduality Salon (/\)

Highlights #386

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Does it really matter? If you do what you do, and it doesn't work for
you, can you identify ways in which it is your "doing" that the
"not-working" happened? For me this is a pretty useful question. I
find ways in which it is my "doing" that makes it "not-work" all the
time, and it appears that with gentle practice I can work on this.
Seeing the mechanism by which I prevent my acceptance of and delight
with things as they are helps me to relax a bit and take it less
seriously, less personally. That seems so often to be at the heart of
the constriction that I feel I subconsciously maintain (I can relax it
when I notice it, so it is my doing...) That constriction clearly stops
my complete enjoyment of THIS. The capital lettes are to bring your
attention to this, not to suggest that this is special... It is, but
only in that it isn't.

I'll bet this is getting silly sounding. Let me try again. I do try to
relax and just feel a sense of continuity between the edges of my body
and the rest of things. This often seems to soften the boundary and
when it does, I tend to grin and feel really good. I can do this, when
I remember. That feels like free will to me. Recently, I am seeing
that that viewing that as free will itself is one of the ways in which
"not-working" is my doing. When the feeling is there and I am
delighting in the very nature of things, thinking about it and getting
pleased that I "have it again" pushes it away. Thinking in the
periphery only pushes it a little, but tends to lead to thinking about
other things and then sometime later, I once again notice the
opportunity to relax and feel it again (often days later, mind you...)
Getting on that train of thought with no attention to where I am going
is a doing, which makes the not working happen. Does this make sense?
If it does, then I think you will see the paradox. There is free will
in choosing to end the illusion that I have anything to say about how
things are. Choosing to let go of that control seems all by itself to
make some wonderful presence happen, which is just fine the way it is,
and I hope that the silly game of wanting free will goes soon so that I
can just be that presence. But, the choosing and the hoping also
reinforces the idea that I choose things, and that there is something to
hope for, and those both take me away from the experience. So I guess
for me it doesn't matter if there is free will. (But I use my free will
to maintain this stance, which causes me to remain asleep.) whew! I
hope this helps in some way. It may help most if you just let it
confuse you and let go of the need for anything to make sense. It's
like a water slide. Does the water slide have to make sense before it
can be fun? Why should life be any different?



For me, the paradox of free will within destiny is
a living example of the harmony and intent of "BEING".

Destiny IS this moment, which indeed is nothing more nor
nothing less than pure compassion.

We are free to see it as we will.
We are not free to possess it.



>They are aware how in dreams, once it is noticed that there
>is an "inconsistency" that we immediatly manufacture a

D: A fascinating observation. To "solve" inconsistency,
I must have a belief that "I" exist in a stable,
predictable, and consistent way. Otherwise, how could
"I" construct a consistent "solution"? If this belief
in a consistent existence turns out to be "self-serving"
rather than real, my own observations and conclusions
are subject to, indeed essentially *are*, the same
fluctuating inconsistency observed "out there".
If I remove the bias in favor of my consistent
self-existence, I see that "I" bring order to nothing,
I am nothing other than inconsistency
given a temporary and fluctating form.

>The charm of the paradox is infinite.
>To understand, that the ultimate consistency rests in
>nothing, one must come to terms with the fact that there
>are an infinite number of inconsistencies in things.

D: Yes, thank you, this rings quite true.
Inconsistency is infinite. The inconsistencies
noted in "things" show "things" for what they
are: fabrications that hide infinity.
Our bias in favor of structure and predictability
(arising simply from the survival program of
the body-mind) can be dropped as we open
to the truly awesome beauty and paradox
of this 'nothing'. This 'nothing' really is full
of surprises...

>As you said to Carlos, it really is fortunate that the
>laughter is non-hostile :-)

D: And as I say to you, my laughter this morning
is my enjoyment of the rich "seeing" you have
shared here.


Jerry asked: What else in nature is it impossible to stare at?
> -------------
> I find it almost impossible to look someone else, friend or stranger, in
> the eye without an undesirable interactive responsiveness arising. On
> rare occasions, eyes meet and it's like mirror to mirror without any
> kind of signal being sent. Is nondual eye contact like looking in a
> mirror? or maybe like being a mirror. What's the view?
> Larry

I know what you're saying. Why is that? I think it's because
one person is not willing to be open. Nondual eye contact is
like looking into one's own eyes in the mirror. If a person
can't look him- or herself in the eye without a motive, how
can it be done with another?

The eyes are a gift. They are a finely tuned, exquisitely
sensitive extension of the brain to the surface of
the body. The eyes are capable of sending a very subtle
energy. When there is eye-to-eye contact in which
clear energy is simultaneously given and received,
an attunement of awareness is possible. This attunement
allows for the nonverbal transmission of the "present
state of awareness". The results can be significant.


Isn't this a fascinating exercise? I can find almost no one willing to
try it for more than a second or two, but a few times, here and there, I
have had the opportunity to gaze directly into the eyes of a friend or
lover for an extended period. Wow! First the intimacy of even trying is
sooooo amazing and the eyes get so big and clear. Then, I find that the
face I'm looking into gets indistinct, often moving as though melting,
my peripheral vision gets filled with fog, and I am dissolving into the
space between us. This seems mutual to me and I have been assured by
the person who did this with me that it was. But then I seem to hit a
wall. I've done this only twice for any length of time. The first
time, we broke the gaze and each of us reported that we saw the other
feel fear and draw back, but we both insisted it was the other. The
second time (6 months later, perhaps?) I seemed to again go to the fog
state, and then oscillate back and forth until we mutually broke it off
and wandered off with silly grins. Fun! I hope to do it again soon.

Love, Mark



Love is what we are
But what does that mean?
Let's take a look at what's happening right now, at this moment

Whatever is there, appears in this wholeness
whatever is there, it can't be denied, it can't be accepted.
Because accepting requires someone who accepts,
and denial requires someone who denies.

And that 'someone' simply is not real
but comes and goes.
And that 'someone' appears too,
in what you are: Love.


Lalla was way more than just a nice poet, she was considered to be a
fully realized saint. The fullest story of her life that I found is here. ~~Glo



Everyone does this in different ways.
Knowing that conscious decisions
and personal memory
are much too small a place to live,
every human being streams at night
into the loving nowhere, or during the day,
in some absorbing work.

-- Rumi
Version by Coleman Barks,


Carlos... you wrote (and I thank you for dropping in!) much, I
respond to this part now:

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>>Survivor, crash of Karnak

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>Carlos Dwa

>Survivor of surviving

"Remains to be seen; Film at eleven"

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