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Highlights #400

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Mark W. Otter wrote:

Hi Folks,

I just watched a fascinating show on PBS - Oliver Sachs, darn, I didn't
catch the name of the show or the condition that it was about. (pay
attention much? - my excuse was I was studying for a final exam in
psychology tomorrow night, but the truth is I was playing elist poster
and reader... damned addiction if you ask me. no offense meant) Anyway,
it was about a genetic condition in which people are born deaf, and lose
their sight over the course of about 30 years, ending up both blind and
deaf. Oliver asked one woman if she could have her sight back would she
want it? Oh yes, she replied, absolutely. Would she want to become
hearing? "No, certainly not." A young man, not yet blind, but becoming
so said the same thing. Wow. They both said that they "were" deaf (part
of their identity, and strongly defended), but that in essence, they
suffered from blindness (well, they were both very positive about the
loss of sight, and willing to live their lives to the fullest... cool
people!) Anyway, I had an epiphany watching this. This is how we are.
We define ourselves by that which we have experienced and therefore feel
safe with and deny and refuse anything outside that. (well, that's too
strong, because we are willing to grow, but mainly on our own terms,
defined by comfort level...)

I say yes! I want it all. I'm willing to not be, in order to for it
all... words fail me, but I'm sure you know what I mean. Perhaps if I
could say it in American Sign Language, it would be more clear. I
think I mean that surrendering the limitation is worth experiencing all
the possibilities. (but I'm still testing this hypothesis... anybody
have a complete picture you want to share (again...))?

Love, Mark


Oh, my Love, my heart and mind are only longing for you
-- the touch of your bliss --
the electric flow of your lipid caress
-- your engulfing penetration.

Oh, flow into me my Love.
Oh all of being -- through me
to engorge the formless
with the blissful reality of your being.

All Things to thee sing
of the Love of their essence,
which you are.

Oh slippery sensate genius,
oh the quiddity of your caress
-- like chain lightning within my inner-most reaches.

I ride upon the physical reality of your ecstasy
to the self which is beyond myself.

In my highest moment
I know that I live only for you.
Flow through me that I may enter your flow
-- my sweet Life of Life.

In you I find my existence and dissolution.

To Thee I sing -- Thy song I am.

The multiplicity of Your oneness
is beyond the reckoning of all minds.
Your grace I hold more precious
than self.

My praises of Thee -- for me.
I thank you for this
song to you --
your gift to me.

(c) Carlos Dwa 2000


Dear Carlos,

Very beautiful ode.
But there is always the seperation
between Love and the one who
experiences Love? :-)

Cheers :-)


and there is always separation between lover and beloved and if it
were any other way, life would not be worth living.

Longing for the union
that will never be.
such sweetness,
such ecstatic torment,
rending the heart with
delicious anguish.
only a fool
would ask
to be blessed
with such madness.


Papaji made it clear in the book

Nothing ever happened that those he sent to teach

not only are not enlightened, they are not

even temporarily enlightened.

#1. Papaji when asked about those he sent to teach.
He said that the purpose was to have them point the
way to Lucknow not to pose as awakenened teachers.

#2. Papaji said that many can fool others into
thinking they are liberated but they are the false

#3. When asked about the experiences that so many
people had in Lucknow. He said they were false

#4. when asked why did you give them false
He said to get the leeches off my back.

#5. Papaji said he met only two Jnani's in his
lifetime. One was Ramana Maharshi. The other was a man
who appeared from out of the jungle into the town of

#6. Ramana Maharshi said that there is a false sense
of liberation that aspirants reach that very few ever
go beyond.

#7. Ramana Maharshi wrote: "By him alone whose saved
himself, can other folk be freed, the help of others
is as if, the blind, the blind would lead.

If people would choose the source of their teachings
as carefully, or more carefully than they would choose
who was going to do brain surgery on them the
spiritual teaching world would be turned upside down.

However spirituality is about preserving the ego
notion except in very rare cases. It is about people
who lie every second to themselves pretending they are
being honest.

The ego notion has millions of strategies to preserve
itself. Seeking out those who have not yet ended the
ego notion to be one's spiritual teacher is one such

Listening to the opinions of those who have not yet
removed the ego notion is another such strategy. Oh
what the heck lets just call it ego notion
preservation strategy #864,393,392 that is eight
hundred sixty four million , three hundred ninety
three thousand and three hundred and ninety two.

Every word, every act of a human being including
almost all spiritual aspirants is for the purpose of
preserving the ego notion. That is why Papaji met only
two Jnani's in his life because it is so extremely
rare that the ego notion illusion is ever removed.
Humans lie. And they bring that ego preservation lie
to their their spirituality, including to the very
teachings that are aimed at the ego notions end.

That is why people read a commentator on a sages
teachings. To get the distorted view. However do they
tell themselves I am reading a commentators opinion to
get a distorted view? Of course not. They will find
one of a thousand thoughts that would support their
reading a commenatators view.

Since most reach a false sense of liberation
(see #7 above) there are so many who think they are
liberated and qualified to teach. And the ego notion
seeks out these teachers except in very rare cases.

I do not intend to respond to insincere responses to
this posting. I may not even respond to the sincere
responses. As I would rather say, read the Teachings
of Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Yoga
Vasistha, the living Sages Russ and Nome, the
Asthvakra Gita, the Avadhuta Gita, the Ribhu Gita. And
this time instead of picking quotes that support some
favored view, take a look at the whole body of the
Teachings. Find out what Ramana had to Say for more
than 50 years. Not just a quote that supports a view,
find out what did he say the most? what did he say
over and over? Take a look at the whole. Take a look
at the question the questioner asked, and how the
answered varied depending on if the questioner
suggested an answer in his or her question or really
asked an open question seeking Bhagavan Ramana's

Papaji made it clear ( see items #1 through 5 above)
that his way never ended the ego notion in anyone. So
guess what it is that seeks out a way that did not
work? Of course the ego notion in its desire to
preserve itself seeks out a way that did not work.

What has worked is the method that Ramana Maharshi
Advocated and it is very different from the make no
effort way of Papaji.

Papaji in his kindness and compassion gave these
strong harsh warnings in the book nothing ever
happened . How many people really looked at them and

I rather miss the physical form. It was such a shock
the news of the death of Papaji's body. Even though
his body was old. In the announcements in the week or
two prior to the death of his body at Satsang Bhavan
in Lucknow they said his condition was stable.
So it was a shock. And to see the body being brought
in only a couple of hours after learning the news made
it all even more shocking. And the cremation the next
day, it seemed so unbelielable so much happening in
such a short time.

Papajis was so great, but who is honest enough to hear
his warnings about all these ambassadors? And not only
the Ambassadors, but hundreds of thousands of humans
deluded into a false sense that the ego illusion has

The items numbered 1 through 7 above all have a
relation. such compassion was shown by Bhagavan Ramana
and Papaji to warn against the false.

All of the above has to do with using discernment,
using discrimination, honesty and intensity of

Just consider the possibility that every single act,
thought, feeling, desire , you have every moment of
every day including most of your "spiritual"
activities is motivated by the ego notion to preserve
itself and is part of a lie. Then examine each
thought and each action and ask yourself "how is the
ego notion preserving itself now?" "How is the ego
notion lying now?"



dear Leela Family,

I just returned from the Silent Retreat with Gangaji and
Eli in Baden-Baden, Germany. 580 people came together for a
week of deep realization. The silence was so profound at
times that I could hear the trees singing Silence.

Baden-Baden is a small town built around a healing spring.
It was first used by the Celts and then the Romans built
the first bath on that spot a few thousand years ago. I
have never been in the middle of a town where people can
come together, men and women, young and old, to bath as
naked babies in the holy water. All around were signs
reminding us to be silent. To sit silently with everyone in
the warm waters was a revelation.

Baden Baden is only a few minutes from the border with
France and after the retreat we drove to Strasbourg for
lunch one afternoon. It did not matter the country or the
people, it was clear that consciousness was seeing itself
and loving itself in all its forms.

The first day of the retreat we were issued passes that
gave us discounts at many of the local places, like the
baths. The passes had a picture of Gangaji and Eli and a
quote from Papaji on the back.

That first day two new books came out in German and debuted
at the retreat. One is the German translation of Gangaji's
newest book, Freedom and Resolve. The other is called the
Flame of Freedom, and is a book of interviews and photos of
Eli and Gangaji. A three tape video set of the interviews
was released as a companion to the book.

Gangaji and Eli worked so beautifully together. With full
love and respect one would sometimes complete the other's
sentence. They played together and with us and revealed the
teaching in the form of two humans in loving partneship.
Many people were moved to see a man defer to his partner in
loving devotion. Gangaji's deep purity and Eli's lazer
clarity worked so well together in exposing the lies and
revealing the truth.

One evening we all chanted Ramana's holy name for over half
an hour. This was a new experience for me and for many of
the people in the retreat. The bliss of Ramana broke open
so many hearts that evening in a completely unexpected way.

It was my first time in Europe but it seemed so familiar. I
have been in all of Gangaji and Eli's retreats together but
it all seemed so new.

I hope you find this sharing useful.

love, kris

We are the Nonduality Generation.


The following was received:

FREEDOM The mind is an almost unbroken current of thoughts
and images careening from past to future. We can see this
for ourselves, just by watching our own mind. Who, or what,
is the watcher of the mind? It is the mind's own mother,
the pure awareness from which the mind is born. Awareness
embraces the mind as a loving mother holds her child.
Awareness itself is clear and silent. Living each moment
from the silent clarity of pure awareness is called

LONGING We can immediately fulfill our deepest longing for
freedom, clarity, and joy. All we have to do is change our
understanding. We do not have to search for fulfillment; it
is within the very eye of the longing-storm. Don't look
away from the longing towards another country, look
directly into it. Throw yourself into it and love it with
every cell of your being. Loving the longing without the
tiniest reservation is fulfillment.

INTEGRITY Integrity means to be whole and undivided-to be
authentic-as when our true heart speaks through our
thoughts, words, and actions. If our experience of inner
truth is not made real through our actions, we will lose
the power of authenticity and feel the twinge of
self-betrayal. Realization must be demonstrated in even the
simplest of our actions. Then we are whole and undivided,
and not just thinking we are.

KILLING THE MIND A workshop participant asked how he could
"kill his mind." I asked why he wanted to go to all that
trouble? Why wage war on the poor little thing? After all,
isn't there enough room in reality for a mind? And, a mind
is a useful thing, as long as we don't use it incorrectly.
My mind doesn't bother me as long as I don't contract and
become what my mind is thinking or believing or perceiving.
If we live from a big enough space of awareness, our mind
exists to scale, like a single flower in an endless
mountain meadow.

ATTENTION Our mind is usually focused on our creation, not
on the creator. Images, thoughts, beliefs, identities-all
these are created and sustained by the mind. If we begin
paying attention to the creator rather than the created,
something marvellous happens. Another world appears, one in
which silence and beauty run rampant through the streets of
every city and town.

PRESENCE When we are quiet, a Presence can be felt. It is
the single soul of all people. It seems to be from within,
but it is equally without. This Presence has character, and
the words we might use to describe that character include
loving, generous, peaceful, clear, caring, respectful. To
the degree that our behavior reflects these qualities is
the degree to which that Presence is alive within us.

CONFUSION I can't count how many times people tell me they
are confused about who they are, where they want to go, or
what they want to do. Their confusion is never true. We are
never truly confused. We are only afraid, or deaf. When you
feel confused, sit down, be still, listen, accept, and then
act. That is all. Listen deeply, accept honestly, act
fully. Confusion cannot survive in this equation.

Voicemail: 415.705.0807
E-mail: [email protected]
Web site:

Mailing Address:
20 Sunnyside Ave., # A-118
Mill Valley, CA 94941 USA


I met Swami Muktananda once and upon being introduced he
asked, through a translator, what I did and I said,
"Nothing." But it was twenty years ago so doing nothing
wasn't as big as it is today. Today doing nothing is a very
big deal, it's a thriving, bustling industry. Anyway, he
said, "Do something." So years later I start this list. And
now you tell me to do nothing. The Guru business...sheesh!


There is really no conflict in why muktananda told you and what neem
karoli told OH. That is, if there is a foundation of commitment to
him. What Muktananda said, was to you and for you and no one else.
However if muktananda is just another guru in a long ( or short) list
of "who i have been with" then there will be confusion because this
one says this, and that one says something else, and there is no real
ground of relationship and commitment with any of them.

Yes, I think that's the humor of Guru-talk and I'm wondering
if that talk is different than the talk of time and
occurrence, or of poetry. Really, its only that commitment
you speak of, which is to ground of being, which assures
that language will be heard as intended. Muktananda's
'something', Neem Karoli's 'nothing', and Gene Poole's
'abiding', are not three different things.




Michael Read:


Seek you said
And I will find

Knock you said
And the door will be opened

Ask you said
And it will be given

You tricked me
Didn't you - bastard!

This isn't the first time!
Countless billions of lives

Oh you - fucker!
Are you enjoying yourself?

What did I find
Only you

The door opened
Onto a chasm

The gift
Was unbearable

You have destroyed me
Saying you and I are one

Much appreciated!


> Marcia wrote:

> For the longest time I was perplexed by the following:
> Mathew 13:44
> "Again, the kingdom of heaven
> is like unto treasure hid in a field;
> the which when a man hath found,
> he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth
> and selleth all that he hath, and
> buyeth that field."
> What perplexed me was why "hideth."

The "hideth" is perplexing, in this case I feel
that Matthew, speaking to "non-converts" was possibly
using their words to heighten the significance of
the find. Hide/protect, until resources could be
amassed to "acquire".

> That is until I realized what he hideth it
> from and that is his ego. If he didn't
> hide it, the ego would grab hold and
> begin to lie. It has to be hidden from himself.
> A man can't let the left hand know what the
> right hand is doing.

The ego lies, not because it has the treasure,
but because it doesn't seem to be experiencing
the things that others who have (supposedly)
found the treasure say they are experiencing.

The ego lies when it has found a field
which doesn't seem to have the treasure.

I'm sure the ego hardly knows it's lying, on the contrary,
it is confused because it's sure that the treasure
is there.

When finally, the ego admits that it is responsible
for hiding the treasure to protect itself,
only then will it become ready to sacrific itself
to expose the treasure to all.

The field is the ego's creation, and the ego's very
substance. The ego cannot have nor buy the treasure.
The ego is separate from it.

Liberation is not having to lie,
is freedom from human influence,
is confiding in Self completely.

> In terms of liberation, perhaps there are two
> liberations. The first liberation is finding the
> field in the first place or perhaps having the
> field find him and the second liberation has
> to do with selling all he has and buying the
> field. Perhaps most perceive the first liberation
> as all there is.
> Marcia

A born liar,


Arend Versteege writes:

The first quote is from Robert Adams, a devotee of Ramana
Maharshi. He passed away about six months before Papaji.
Just before he passed away, he wrote me this in a personal
letter. Robert always insisted on a low profile but was
truly an extraordinary Sage and Jnani. When I returned from
India after being with Papaji for a few months, Robert
moved to my small town in N. Arizona, Sedona. I was very
fortunate to be in Satsang with 2 giants of Advaita in
Ramana's"lineage". I presently reside in the Netherlands.

Robert Adams "There is no-one bound and no-one striving to
be free. Nothing to strive for, nothing to let go of. You
are the One Self. Consciousness is all there is, and You
are That. All you have to do is understand this. Accept
this and be free. Believe this. There is no you and the
Self. There is only the Self. Everything happens by itself.
The personal I is an illusion, an hallucination. The
so-called world, other people, the Universe, are all your
projection, your creation. Do not believe in the mortal
dream. Love your Self. Bow to your Self. Be your Self."

Arend "The grace I received from Papaji was to see how
utterly self serving I was even in my most supposedly
selfless altruism. This painful awareness simply arose in
the process of Satsang. The setup was that I could not
regress back into forgetfulness while also recognizing that
any effort to do something about it was just another
movement of ego. I was caught, immobilized, and sank ever
deeper into the sewer of my self but to run away would have
been cowardly and stupid. It lead me to the only doorway
remaining, to surrender everything at the threshold of the
Unknown. Such is the way of Grace sometimes."

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