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#4245 -
The Nonduality
Highlights - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlights
Today's feature is based
Colin Drake's book, Beyond the Separate Self,
which you may learn about and order for immediate download at
http://nonduality.com/colindrake.htm
Overcoming
Habitual Negative Thought Patterns
by Colin Drake
I recently received the
following enquiry regarding anxieties, worries and memories:
After running the usual gamut of non-duality offerings over the
last several years, I encountered "Beyond the Separate
Self", which I've since read several times. The
discussion that hooked me, as it were, was your description of
the mind's tendency, especially when idle or unfocussed, to
create apparent problems out of thin air and then, ridiculously,
attempt to solve them. This has been, by far, the greatest
sticking point along my spiritual "path". In
particular, when I awaken in the morning, I find myself still
beset by a habit that has been ongoing for many years. That
is, I become entangled in memories, thoughts, and concepts from
the past (and also, less frequently, the present and future).
What follows is a period of depression and anxiety which is
particularly aimed at my childhood difficulties and
"failures", followed inevitably by a powerful sense
that "I can't get it! (non-duality, that is). The
situation can be very discouraging, As you've probably
heard endless times, I seem to be one of those people with a deep
and thorough "intellectual" understanding of
"Oneness" (my default term), but, when faced with real,
or manifest, life, my old fears, anxieties, and worries seem to
persist, although to a somewhat lesser degree.
As I mentioned, I'm now retired, so perhaps idleness is truly the
"devil's handmaiden", but, having realized and come to
believe that my true nature is ever-present Awareness, I'm quite
concerned that these painful emotional states still exist.
I feel, in the parlance of AA, that I'm "talking the
talk" but failing to "walk the walk".
Perhaps you could suggest something that would help resolve the
situation? I've begun to practice the meditative and journalistic
processes you discuss in chapter 14, but I still feel somewhat
stuck, unable to face "real" situations when they
arise, and continuing to manufacture problems when they don't
really exist.
Thanks for your time and your wonderful book.
Here is my reply:
Thanks for your enquiry
which I think many people can relate to. As discussed in the book
old fears, anxieties and worries will continue to arise but will
lose their power if you don't identify with them. That is to say
that you do not take them as indicators of who, or what, you
truly 'are'. In this respect I can do no better than repeat:
The simple solution to
this is when it comes to reality don't believe a single
thought. Just rely on immediate direct experience, and this
direct experience that you are awareness can be had
instantly. As soon as the mind carries on with its doubts,
anxieties, worries, questions and tricks, notice that you are
effortlessly aware of every thought. If you then just
watch the thoughts from pure awareness, without following a
single one, they soon quieten down and give up. This is an
ongoing process but it is no cause for despondency. For
every time this occurs these negative thoughts can make you turn
to awareness itself! And in awareness there is only
serenity and peace … In fact, in the same way,
every single thing in existence is a pointer towards
awareness. For everything perceived appears in this pure
awareness which is what you are.
The point is not to give these negative thoughts any weight but
to let them come and go without following them or telling
yourself a story about what they mean, or how they have affected
you. Of course at the deeper level of pure awareness they have
never, and can never affect you! This is easier said than done
when engaged in worldly activity but by cultivation of 'awareness
of awareness' this will become easier as time goes by.
Also you mention that
they assail you as soon as you awaken in the morning. My
suggestion here (which I adopt) is to sit and read some inspiring
spiritual book, or article, for 20-30 minutes before 'relaxing
into awareness'. This will put your mind into the right headspace
so that this relaxation into, and investigation of, awareness is
easier to carry out. Above all do not become discouraged, you say
that you have realized that your true nature is ever present
awareness ... now you need to honour that realization by
cultivating it and becoming established in it. This can be done
by reading inspiring texts and noticing that awareness is ever
present at any time of the day, especially in your case as you
are retired and have so much time available.
Something else I find
helpful is to spend as much time in nature (walking and sitting)
as possible whilst enjoying the pleasant sensations that this
brings up. The smell of the forest, the breeze on the face, the
wonderful vista that unfolds, the refreshing taste of running
spring water etc. etc. This is truly fulfilling one of the
functions of the mind/body as an instrument of the divine aware
nothingness, through which it can sense, experience, interact
with and enjoy its own manifestation as the physical world.
Two other things that
occurred to me during the day are the fact that physical exercise
is a particularly good way of making oneself 'feel better' and
that memories, anxieties and worries themselves can direct you
back to 'awareness of awareness' as their arising can be used as
an indicator that you are identifying back at the level of
mind/body. In my case I do a 15 minute yoga session every morning
straight after my meditation/contemplation, which my body loves,
and when the old worries/anxieties occur I have actually started
to find them a cause of amusement ... as if my mind could be so
stupid as to take them seriously!! Love, Colin
To 'complete' this
article I enclose the outcome of my reply:
Hi Colin,
Thanks so much for your timely and insightful responses to my
inquiries. Rather than run about like a headless chicken in
search of the "guru of the week" or the "ultimate
spiritual book", I have decided to take to heart the
specific suggestions you offer, both in your book and personal
correspondence. I'm now meditating thrice daily on my true
nature, which clearly and non-judgmentally observes all that is
occurring in the relative world. I also take time
throughout the day, when available, to reflect on this
Awareness. Furthermore, as all paths are
"individual", so to speak, I'm also writing down those
concepts and ideas that give me peace and clarity.
In particular, I've finally started to realize that periods of
extreme emotional turmoil, which always seemed so debilitating
and all-consuming, are nevertheless simply ephemeral thoughts and
feelings which arise in this Awareness. They are seen to
have no independent nature (or "power") independent of
awareness. This realization has been a great relief.
Finally, I'd like to add that, although countless books
point, more or less, to the same Reality, "Beyond the
Separate Self", at least for me, seems to cover all the
bases, and for this I am grateful. Your kindness and
obvious personal interest in my situation is truly heartwarming
and, although I'd never barrage you with incessant theoretical
questions leading nowhere, it's great to know you're willing to
respond to a particular inquiry when I hit the inevitable,
occasional, spiritual "wall".
In Peace and Gratitude..
~ ~ ~
Find out about
Beyond the Separate Self at
http://nonduality.com/colindrake.htm