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#4376 - Wednesday,
September 21, 2011 - Editor: Jerry Katz
The Nonduality Highlights - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NDhighlights
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A Cascade of Words
by Vicki Woodyard
Writing into the unknown is amazingly satisfying. I will use the word amazing like people in their twenties do. It is just amazing. I sit at the keyboard and open up the universe inside myself! I see stars and starfish and wheels goin round and round and junk flyin through space and I hear honk, honk, beep, beep. Sob. Crack. Moan. I feel pushin and shovin and lovin....
And its all me. Just me looking inside the void.
I watch Family Guy and crack up over Peter Griffins stupidity. Thats me. Im that guy and Im a gal. I listen to Jermaine Jackson talk about his new book and thats me. Im black and rich and brokenhearted. I listen to a song about the stones in a river and feel the truth in each tiny stone. The river rocks and rolls me, this river of words.
Language transports me by the use of a keyboard. I go places I shouldnt be going. I tell you about the time that I went to mail a manuscript when I should have been taking Bob to the hospital because he needed oxygen. Later that day, his doctor raced down the hall to ICU, his nurse pushing Bob in a wheel chair holding an oxygen mask and me bringing up the rear. Later he had ICU-induced paranoia and would call me from there every five minutes saying they wanted to kill him. Wanted to kill him? God was doing a good job of that already.
And here I am practicing the art of widowhood. I do it well. I am getting the hang of it. How do I love myself? Let me count the ways. I keep it simple. I keep it clean. No one is going to pick after me. I pay my bills on time. I am not drunk and disorderly. I dont pick fights with strangers.
I have my little hangups, which turn out to be huge ones. I am curious to a fault, being a Scorpio. I am stubbornly attached to truth, trailing along behind it like its favorite donkey. But in my hand are Hershey Kisses and a copy of the weekly TV schedule. Hee haw.
I just love to write in my own peculiar way. I have known love and lost love. Been dismissed and scolded, forgiven and denounced. Its all in the script, folks. But you know that already. You know I will be here writing until the cows come home. The fact that I can do what I love and keep my privacy is balanced by a sense of aloneness and a sure knowledge that I am being cared for like a sparrow. I really am.
Identification equals separation.
Don't fool yourself that identifying
with Self, Awareness or Absolute
makes you free.
Any identification is a limitation,
a holding on. Only floating and
drifting undefined and unknown
is total freedom.
Make the world small and luminous
I call this "concentration"
Make space for the unlimited awareness
I call this "expansion"
Both make up loose meditation.
The "way" is undistracted loose meditation.
I previously thought that
darkness," meant that the guru did something
magical to you, akin to waving a magic wand,
and somehow (who knew how?) "Abracadabra!"
Poof! The darkness is dispelled, and
now you are enlightened!
But if one knows what the darkness is,
i.e. self-ignorance, and where it is, (in
the mind), and how it's dispelled (when
the truth is recognized), although not
poetic, that's a lot clearer, IMO.
And then we can say 'dispeller of
darkness' and we know exactly
what those lovely words mean.
Thus guru becomes what a guru actually is,
not a magician, but rather a guide.
Poetry is beautiful, look at Rumi.
The Upanisads are nothing but poetry actually,
but if we don't know what the poetic words really
mean, we can (and I have) come up with some
pretty wild ideas about it.
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