Jerry Katz
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Highlights #439

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Sunday August 13, 2000


You are the cure hidden in the pain.
Concealed in anger and betrayal
is Your compassion and loyalty.
You are not only in heaven,
I see Your footprints everywhere on Earth.


When compassion fills my heart,
free from all desire,
I sit quietly like the earth.
My silent cry echoes like thunder
troughout the universe.


I was delighted with myself,
having offered everything I had;
my heart, my faith, my work.
"And who are you," you said,
"to think you have so much to offer?
It seems you have forgotten
where you've come from."


From Mu:

Dearest, why do you weep,
and why can't you sleep?

Is it because that you now know
your understanding has been all show?

The sun and moon change in thier seasons
well beyond the telling of your reasons.

All of the universe, dearest, I'm bringing,
do join in, be part of the singing!

All is illusion, that's true,
All is a gift, just for you!

Fire and water!


Peace - Michael




So, are you saying, Gene, that 'enlightened self-interest'
is not necessarily good for one and all?

No, I am not saying that.

This is restated in my last two quoted paragraphs below, with which
you apparently resonated.

Compassion and enlightened self-interest are essentially the same
thing. Living in compassion as the 'way of Being', is of the highest
advantage to self and 'others'. I know it is difficult to consider
this equation in a dispassionate way; we are all conditioned to be
passionately idealistically 'selfless'.

Truth is, this conditioning to be 'idealistically selfless' is a
ploy, and nothing more; it is responsible for the implicit 'OK' which
is given to denial and narcissism. Endless generations of humans have
been subject to this ploy, which is nothing more than a (rather
transparent, no pun intended) 'back-door exploit' to make people

(In modern computer software issues, a 'back-door exploit' is what
leaves the naive user open to others (who are aware of the
vulnerability) snooping or invading their systems and files.
Microsoft Internet Explorer has been found, repeatedly, to have been
designed to allow third-party exploitation; an example is the
notorious 'NSA key'.)

It is common enough for people to abhor the ways of the world, and to
see themselves as somehow above the tendencies of others. Selfless
idealism has been taught for many many generations, and is based upon
two principles; others are 'bad' and 'self' had darned well better
not get uppity and think it is above others. This is hammered during
childhood; unfortunately, it leaves the eventual 'adult' without
sufficient ego-boundaries, and thus open to control by others. This
is how the 'back-door exploit' works, and it works well. It works so
well, that if a person exhibits a high opinion of themself, such is
considered to be automatic permission to others to 'bring them down
to size'. The words 'ego' and 'hubris' are used as diagnostic
justifications for mass punishment of someone who has stepped out of
line. Perhaps the most remembered victim/example of such mob
'justice' is Jesus Christ.

Further, the groupthink which suddenly manifests in contrast to
individuality, when institutionalized, is known as Fascism. I am
saying here, that 'enlightened self-interest' may call for standing
apart from the consensus-crowd, and thus risking lynch-mob violence,
psychic or physical. It is not easy to be self-culled from the herd,
upon the realization that the ability to see, imparts firm and
resilient boundaries. Enlightened self-interest is having compassion
for oneself; it is the healing of the 'back-door exploit' breach in
our boundaries which makes us not only vulnerable to invasion by
hostile forces, but can in an instant, make us ourselves, members of
the hostile forces.

What I don't get about this, Gene, is: Who decides what is
'truly' good? And when does that get decided? I'll put
these questions into context by the following:

I decide.

I'm reminded of this story I heard once....I don't remember
exactly how it goes.....but it was about a series of events
and choices made by a farmer and his son. After what
appeared to be a disastrous turn of events the farmer would
say, "Oh, that's terrible!". But then an apparently disasterous
choice or event would be followed by an apparent turn of
good fortune to which the farmer would then reply, "Oh, that's
wonderful". This turn of good fortune was followed by a
seemingly disastrous event....which was followed by something
that would seem quite marvelous. Each event was linked to the next
like a row of touching and setting into motion
the next.

The point of this is to say that what may appear today as a
great choice (a choice serving my and others' best interest), may
tomorrow be seen as a disastrous one.....followed by a self 'serving'
followed by a self denying one. To say any of these choices
were 'bad' or 'good' is to simply touch the trunk of an
elephant and think you know an elephant.

No one can really know anything; if we wait to know, we waste
our lives, and exist as 'hypothetical entities'. Spiritual seeking is
to get the permission of God, to be 'real'. Angry ghosts will punish
one who says he is real.

Having said that....what I read Byron Katie say today really
resonated with me:

"I know that reality is Good as it is because when I argue with it,
I experience tension and frustration. It doesn't feel natural or
balanced. When I recognize this fact, action becomes clear, kind,
fearless, simple, fluid, and effortless."

All I know to do is to follow the movement matter
what it looks like or feels like to others. When I do so, I feel
natural and balanced. When I don't.....when I follow 'shoulds',
or precepts or doctrine... I get knotted up inside, and so stiff in the
body I cannot move.

So I'll leave it to others to decide 'what's good for everyone',
as well as whether or not my 'self interest' is enlightened enough
or 'truly' good.

I would offer that your duty is to yourself only; and that to
have compassion for yourself is a good thing.

I suggest that if you think about it, that you will see that you are
"mixing levels" in your ongoing argument here; self and transpersonal
self are two separate levels, in the process of considering
self-interest and compassion. You are you and I am me; you are you
and they are they. If you simply deeply consider yourself, you may
understand where I am coming from.

When a duality exists....when I am speaking
from my 'individuality'.....I am also speaking
thru the veil of all my 'knowns', from my preferences,
conditionings, and expectations. For me, this is far
too limited a perspective to presume to know 'what
is best' for MYSELF....much less anyone else.

It is possible to have both perspectives at once; that is how
one discerns what is 'good for one and all'.

MELODY: By both perspectives are you meaning the dual and the nondual
perspective? I don't recall ever having both perspectives at once.
Perhaps it's possible.....I can recall no 'taste' of it.

No, I am referring to keeping the perspective of 'self' to be a
personal one, not to be confused with our projections of what is
'other'. If both perspectives are held deliberately, the choices
become much clearer. This must be done with deliberation, devoid of
the rush to judgement which characterizes automatic thinking
(otherwise known as jumping to conclusions).

"There is only Self" (Just a reminder!)

Speaking of discerning "what is good for one and all", I'm
reminded of Osho's discourses on Meritocracy replacing
our system of democracy. As I recall (I never read this
very closely) Osho suggested that those who were 'clear
seers' should choose the top officials, rather than have them
elected by the masses. I always thought that idea needed
a bit of work: wondering how the 'clear seers' would ever
get selected in the first place, and by whom. :-)

Not a new idea, by any means. Socrates expounded upon the
concept of the 'philosopher-king', for the same (pedagogical) reasons.

According to Freud, we are ruled by 'superego', an inner king.
Unfortunately, this king is only as 'good' as is our conditioning. I
say, that if the king chops off his own head if somebody looks at him
funny, that such a king is an idiot. This is the pitiable condition
that 'most people' are in; they are willing to lay down their *own
interests* (compassion, love) at the drop of a hat, thus to avoid the
fate of Jesus H. Christ.

Fortunately, it is all a hypnotic ruse. Awakening is possible, but it
takes 'guts and grace'.

To proceed as if what I'm doing "is for the good
of all" does nothing more than make me *feel* good.
I might as well be eating a chocolate bar.

To proceed, as you say... is the mightiest of undertakings,
fraught with risk; to proceed only on the basis of your own decision,
is to learn, for better of worse. To proceed on the basis of external
standards/criteria, is to simply build a larger body of hurt and
resentment, to avoid responsibility, and ultimately, to avoid

To decide to move forward on the basis of one's own veracity, is
indeed a risk, but a potentially rewarding one. This is the ultimate
'selfishness', to actually behave as though one is real, instead of a
hypothetical body, awaiting guidance and approval of 'others'.

Ping! That one went thru all the way down. :-)

thanks for the talk, Gene....


I'm forwarding part of a dialogue between
Sandeep and myself because I'm sensing there is
definitely a weaving between this one and
mine with Gene, and this issue of compassion.....

(Notice, Bert, that I used your technique
I'm not sure if the results were what you
were hinting at....but it was certainly very
useful for me today. It produced the result
of accessing 'inner teacher' just as I used
to do with my hypnotherapy work. )

What I would sacrifice others for in order to protect is:
my sense of self as a sacred entity
....not to be desecrated, violated, or impugned.

And what as per Melody is that sense of her self?

I held that question in my mind for a number of
minutes this morning.....just letting that question
be there, with no answers. Finally, just as I was
about to drop the question, I saw an image of a
bubble.....pushing hard against the outside forces
that would burst thru it's borders. The bubble
was struggling hard for dear life.....fighting against
forces which would destroy it.

Looking at this image from the 'outside''s kind
of funny in a way.....funny in that the bubble is
'nothing' (air) at its core, and is resisting being swallowed
by even more 'nothing'ness (air in motion).

But the bubble, by the nature of the 'veil' of
separation which divides it....the veil that gives it
its sense of individuality.....views the world thru
that lens.....which produces the effect of 'me' and
'not me'.

An image then follows of a bubble being carried
by the wind....moving wherever the wind may
carry it.

Seeing that image makes me cry. I want to
simply be carried by the wind! And yet I
struggle against it so.

You ask, Sandeep, what is the sense of self
that fights for her 'soverign' place in this world?

It's that bubble that is fighting against the wind.

It's the bubble that thinks she is different and
unique.....and wants the wind to respect her
presense in the world.

I read a quote of Byron Katie yesterday that
had a deep impact on me. She said:

(re-quote from above)
"I know that reality is Good as it is because when I argue with it, I
experience tension and frustration. It doesn't feel natural or
balanced. When I recognize this fact, action becomes clear,
kind, fearless, simple, fluid, and effortless."

Hearing these words again after seeing the image of the
bubble struggling against what is "natural and balanced"
strikes deep into my heart.

It is only by struggling against the wind, that the bubble
has reason to fear those natural forces. By relaxing into
them.....seeing them all as Good....the bubble moves
effortlessly, fearlessly, fluidly....not knowing or caring
where Life takes it.



MELODY (earlier)
When one steps out of the 'compassion' game, there's
hell to pay by the players who decide to stay.

If it is indeed to be paid, it's an issue for the 'other" to resolve.
Of what interest or import is it of mine?

It says to me that I may have chosen to step out of the
'compassion game' step out of society's 'game'
of serve and be served,

but that game still exists in me. I'm still wearing it,
being affected by it, resisting it. It means I have
essentially 'dropped''s still sticking to
my shoe like glue.

It means I'm still cranky that there ever was a game
to be played. It means I'm still cranky that I never
got what I wanted.....never got what I demand
over and over again of life: to be granted my 'birth right'.

It means that up until now, I have refused to 'let go'
of the sorrow about NOT being treated as a 'sovereign
and sacred' being. I hear the words "If I 'give it up',
it means I'll never have it."

It means also I could not see all the ways that I HAVE been....

It means that I unconsciously resisted the 'melting' of
identity....until that issue had been completed.

I thought it had been. How in the world do I do that?


The air inside the bubble
Is the air outside the bubble.

Bubbles come and bubbles go!
Now you see them now you don't!

Unhappy bubble pops
Happy bubble stops.

Time for a picnic!


Peace - Michael



Hi Gene,

Thanks to your post here, I finally realized why I
could not hear what you and others are saying about

What I have called compassion for a number of years
is not anywhere near what you call compassion. My
definition of compassion changed with my hypnotherapy
practice when I discovered that when I focused so
completely on the experience of another, all sense of
MY 'self' dropped away. It would be as if I were
residing for that period of time IN another's experience.

I found that when that happened, all movements and
dialogue flowed effortlessly.....and that when I was
'suffering with' that individual such that there was no longer
any 'self' sense of 'me'....

that healing naturally happened.....often in the most
surprising and 'uncalculated' ways.

That focusing of attention was what I came to call

So when you said compassion and enlightened self interest were
the same, I knew we weren't on the same page....but only
as long as the WORD compassion was used.

I also am surprised to realize today....with the help of
this thread and Sandeep's.....that what I've been wanting
all this time is for some person, any person, to 'step inside'
my experience with me.....the way I used to do for others.

I did not realize that's what I've wanted..... until today.

And I see now that I call it a 'compassion game' because
I'm surrounded in cyberspace with all these people who
say over and over again that they're guiding 'spiritual'
principle was that of compassion.....and yet not once have
I met someone who seemed the least bit interested in 'stepping
into my shoes'. Instead, it seemed they were beating down
the door to get away from me, or to chastise me, or to
shock me, or convince me....etc. And all they had to do
was push me away once, or mock me, whatever....and I
would toss them away as 'not the one'.

I didn't realize until today that I carried the belief.....the
expectation.....that if someone would just be willing to
do that.....'to suffer with' would somehow 'sanctify'
my presence.

I didn't realize until today that the archetype of 'Jesus
on the cross'....of a savior....was at play in my life.

I know how I open myself to all kinds of responses to
that admission, but somehow it needed to be expressed,

Thanks for your help, Gene, in getting this stuff
out onto the table where I could see it.


As a matter of fact, that whole concept of
Jesus suffering and dying so that others may live,
never made the least bit of sense to me.....

until right now. And now...I understand it completely.

I'm rather stunned by it.


That was an act of Compassion, in the name of Self.
Self's act of Campassion is ALL that's ever been and all that
will ever be.

THIS is HIRS for you. Melt into it.

Hanging on that tree was very painful. Happily, death is not a
permanent state of being. All in all though, I would have
preferred a long life with lots of grandchildren to play with.

During the time of the Roman occupation of Israel thousands died
on the cross. Each one was me. Those were tough times!

Also, during those times there were many messiahs proclaiming
in the land. I never did that. I just said that the kingdom
of heaven is within. That's the main thing.

Oh, and there is one other thing I'd like to restate. Judgement.
When I said not to judge, I was including judging of yourself.

I have infinite mercy for everyone. What I do not offer is pity.
That is a dish you must serve yourself. Why anyone would want to
be a 'creeping jesus' is ... well, never mind all that.

I am not interested in validating any individual's viewpoint. That
is to say, don't ask me to sanctify your personal drama. All life
is already 'sacred'. Your natural state is pure and joyful. If you
want to return to the garden, wake up! That's all.

If you can't awaken yourself (and you can't), just ask for some
help. My sweetheart, Amazing Gracie, will be glad to assist!


Peace - no, i don't think i'm the ego/mind/body construct
named Jesus. i'm just me. - Michael (god of thunder) heeheehee!


Sanctify my life, dear Lord,
sanctify my life.

Show me that you know my heart,
show me that you care.

Sanctify my life, dear Lord,
sanctify my life.

Suffer with me all my sins,
suffer all my fears.

Heal me with your touch Divine,
heal me with your love.

Sanctify my life, dear Lord
sanctify my life

that I may die to what I knew
and *in* You be born anew.


I didn't really know what was meant by
those words when I wrote them....I just
wrote what came bubbling up.

I began wondering this evening what
was meant by the phrase 'sanctify my life'....
but I knew it was connected to what I
used to do with my clients.

It occurred to me to look up Jacob Boehme...
a Protestant mystic....I think he was 16th
century....I can't remember off hand.

After a quick search I easily found a
couple of quotes that pointed exactly to
what I was looking for:

Jacob Boehme:

"If (Love) but once kindle a Fire within thee, my Son,... thou
shalt feel it in the burning up thyself, and swiftly devouring all
Egoity, or that which thou callest I and Me, ..."

" For Love enters even into that where the Godhead is not manifested
in this glorious Light, and where God may be said not to dwell.
And entering thereinto, Love begins to manifest to the Soul the Light
of the Godhead: and thus is the Darkness broken through, and
the Wonders of the new Creation successively manifested..."

"If ... thy Will ... could break off itself for one Hour, or even
but for one half Hour, from all Creatures, and plunge itself into
That where no Creature is, or can be, presently it would be penetrated
and clothed upon with the supreme Splendour of the Divine
Glory, would taste in itself the most sweet Love of Jesus, the
Sweetness whereof no Tongue can express, and would find in itself the
unspeakable Words of our Lord concerning His Great Mercy."


My unconscious as it may have been....
was to imagine that Love ....the alchemical fire....
had to originate from somebody 'else'.


Yes. That love is now always has been and forever will be...
There in That place.

It is even now gazing with wonder from your eyes!

Peace - Michael


GLORIA - UG Speaks:

I don't know why it happened
or when it happened or
or how it happened.
I don't even know what happened.
Did something happen?

Excerpts from the book, Thought is Your Enemy, replay that`scream':

... Whatever has happened to me has happened despite everything
I did. Whatever I did or did not do and whatever events people
believed led me into this are totally irrelevant. It is very difficult
for me to fix a point now and tell myself that this is me and look back
and try to find out the cause for whatever happened to me. That
is why I am emphasizing all the time that it is acausal. It is something
like, to use my favorite phrase, lightning hitting you. But one thing
I can say with certainty is that the very thing I searched for all my
life was shattered to pieces. The goals that I had set for myself,
self-realization, God-realization, transformation, radical
or otherwise, were all false. And there was nothing there to be
realized and nothing to be found there. The very demand to be free
from anything, even from the physical needs of the body, just disappeared.
And I was left with nothing. Therefore, whatever comes out of me now
depends on what you draw out of me.

I have actually and factually nothing to communicate, because there
is no communication possible at any level. The only instrument we have
is the intellect. We know in a way that this instrument has not helped
us to understand anything. So when once it dawns on you that that is
not the instrument and there is no other instrument to understand anything,
you are left with this puzzling situation that there is nothing to
understand. In a way it would be highly presumptuous on my part to sit on
a platform, accept invitations and try to tell people that I have
something to say.

What I am left with is something extraordinary--extraordinary in the
sense that it has been possible for me not through any effort, not through
any volition of mine. Everything that every man thought, felt and
experienced before has been thrown out ofmy system.

There is no teaching of mine and never shall be one. `Teaching'
is not the word for it. A teaching implies a method or a system, a
technique or a new way of thinking to be applied in order to bring
about a transformation in your way of life. What I am saying is outside
the field of teachability. It is simply a description of the way I
am functioning. It is just a description of the natural state of man.
That is the way you, stripped of the machinations of thought, are
also functioning.

Your natural state has no relationship whatsoever with the religious
states of bliss, beatitude and ecstasy. They lie within the field of
experience. Those who have led man on his search for religiousness
throughout the centuries have perhaps experienced those religious states.
So can you. They are thought induced states of being and as they come,
so do they go.... The timeless can never be experienced, can never be
grasped, contained, much less given expression to by any man. That beaten
track will lead you nowhere. There is no oasis situated yonder. You are
stuck with the mirage.

'Doesn't an encounter with you help people in any way in their quests,'
I asked U.G. in the kitchen as he was teaching me to fix the washing
machine. 'Look, during your stay here, you have learned to make coffee,
toast your bread, use the washing machine and wash your dishes like
anybody else. These are the only things you will learn from me,' he said
laughingly. 'Jokes apart, tell me. I have a deadline to meet, damn it!
What can people get out of you?' I persisted.

My way of life and what I am saying will not help people to face the
difficult situations in their lives. If there is any potential in them,
it will surface. But this doesn't apply to spiritual progress or potential
because that doesn't exist. If you are a murderer, you will murder with
finesse. This doesn't mean that I condone murder but whatever is there
in you will bloom.


Of Knights and Dream
(To Emily Anne)

King Arthur thought he had created it
Sir Launcelot thought he had stole it
Sir Pellinore never stopped chasing it
Sir Galahad thought he had achieved it

What is it that these knights in shining armor
failed to properly understand
That it is she who stands behind
the seat of the siege perilous
for he who approaches that seat is besieged by love
He may create a kingdom and a throne
He may steal another’s lover
he may spend his life chasing a sacred heart
through the magic forest of the universe
but he will never achieve it
For she is the Immortal Beloved standing behind the chair
and can only be known on the other side of death

For she is the one who cannot be created
she it is who was first, is now and will be last
It is she who cannot be stolen
for her face is but a dream within a dream
and you cannot steal a dream
It is she who cannot be chased
unless you wish to be a dog after his own tail
and before her all men are little more than hounds or spaniels
She is the one who cannot be achieved
because you are already her
and once you realize this she will be gone

You may have forgotten that you were never created
because you always have been, are and will be.
You may even realize that you have stolen
your memory from your true self and that this is just a dream
It may be that you will never stop chasing your own tail
because you are afraid of being awake
Regardess,.eventually she will reveal herself to you
and then once you glimpse her face your longing will become limitless
And if you are lucky or wise or both
You will realize that she was never lost and therefore cannot be found
because you and she, she and you, forever and always are one.

She it is who has many names and no name
She it is who has many faces and no face
She is it, the one you cannot see until you can allow
yourself to be seen by her as you really are
Not as you would like to be seen
not as you are in your dreams, but as you really are when awake.
You must have the courage to see yourself reflected in her penetrating gaze.
But first you must be fearless and sit in the seat of the siege perilous
and be besieged by the Beloved until love burns you into white ashes..
For true love is love which is unto and beyond death.

In the mean time I sit amidst my dreams
and wonder where and why you have gone.?
I suffer the long suffering, the dry suffering, the tired suffering
the only true suffering which is the suffering of unrequited love.

I long to look into the searing gaze of your eyes
and know myself as you see me for the first time,

I am like Arthur and would create you and forgive you for betraying me
I am like Launcelot and would steal you from another
I am like Pellinore and cannot leave the chase at any cost
But I am not like Galahad, because I know I have not achieved you.

What is it that these men in shining armor do not understand
I who am in my mind’s eye one of them, they understand not
that she comes only to those who sit in the stillness of the night
and wait, and wait, and forever wait until sleep comes to an end..

They also serve who but stand and wait and to await her coming is enough.
Those who await the Beloved are chaste of heart and can wait forever.

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