Jerry Katz
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Highlights #482

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Tuesday, September 26

Yawn and stretch and come alive!

Lay down the burden of belief!

The play of light reveals the rainbow!

--Michael Read


Surrender or Self-Achievement..
Eggs with bacon, or bacon with eggs?
Divine mysteri where dwell wisdom and light.
Bowndess submission in wicht I am able to spend
my entire existence rejoicing that God is God.
It is enough for me that my Lord is speaking,
or shall I persist in relying only in my human
faculties, interpreting the merely temporal aspect
of the unanswerable enigma of my existence?.
How shall I aprouch the dilema -"Not a single moment
of my life is in my hands and yet a total commiment to
the present moment is nedeed"-.
As far as I am concerned I have been left with no
other support than lifting my eyes and "going" back to
the beginning, The Source, wich no mortal tongue can
express. Happy even to remain in ignorance, not

--Jesus Villar del Saz


Today I was in the forest talking to the trees
I sat down in a clearing and felt the trees.
Then felt myself as one of the seeds lying on the ground,
that fell from such a height
and felt the fall,
the being abandoned by the tree
lying alone on the ground,
falling under the earth and decaying
cracking open , I do it to myself.
sprouting, my very Self sprouting,
my very Self growing.
in the light and heights.

As I stood up to leave the clearing
I felt seen by the forest.
Such a blessing to be seen
by the forest.




Beloved Beloved Beloved,

Iwant to feel you in my backpain ,in my discomfort and
and in my headacke from sitting at the computer
in doing the dishes and the cooking
in getting uptired at 6 o'clock
in sitting in a full smelly tram for 1h
in the eyes of the angry the nasty and blaming
in my bones and in my flesh
and most of all never forget you're here.

--Carla Carlson



You get visions (thoughts) of Mother Mary or Krishna or
Allah or whatever is your latest pop star and Kundalini
rises from your ass.

You get visions (thoughts) of that near naked blonde from
Bondi beach, Sydney and something else rises.

Nothing more or less to them.


A heart of admiration is offered for your investments in
your success, where you got your "pure golden tools" and
met "those humans as teachers brutally honest and not

This deeply touched heart arose of the grace and mercy of
existence, offering "pure golden tools" and the aquaintance
of "those humans as teachers brutally honest and not
compromising" to Jutta H.M.!


would love to meet you or at least to offer some flowers to
your picture!



Here in Germany little boys are trained not to cry, that
this is childish.

So what is happening is that there is numbness instead of
feeling. And for me it is work to come out of this old

For me it is natural to feel shame when somebody calls me a
typical German because of the past also when I was not part
of it. What are you feeling when you are in the parts of
your towns where only poor black people are living a life
which cannot be called worth living. I once drove in there
accidentally when I was living in Boston and I was feeling
fear because my friends had warned me. I do not know what
you feel but I think there must be feelings when you see
these parts of your so-called rich country.

Without feelings there is even a very dry enlightenment.
When I hear some of the western young lions asking "Who has
these problems? Who is suffering?" I do not smell the
flavour, I feel something is missing.

I love the Sufis, I love the poems of Rumi. I love these
songs, singing of the Beloved. And my heart wants to join
in these songs. And there are lions who sing just now!!!!!!



For me it is very important to share things about the past,
were shame is connected. Most of it in my live was
collective shame.It is time to release it. I remember 1950
I was a small girl,went with my grandmother she was
belgique to Brussels. I was not allowed as a german child
to speak on the street or in the tram. the hate against the
germans was so strong after the war, it was dangerous.I
never forget that feeling what I had than, I am not allowed
to be.There was so much shame. I grew up in east-germany,my
perants hated Stalin. In school,I learned,that Stalin was
the best man in the world. Shame,guilt and fear was I guess
for collectively there for all germans in this time.
Now,remembering and feeling it again,I can say that I got
also a lot of strangth out of it. For me it is time now to
let go of this collective german shame.I had it long
enough. It is time to stand up for being german with my
past. It feels so revealing to write this all.Like a new
process with the past coming into the here and now.



I have lived in east coast Canada throughout my adult life
and we don't really have much in the way of urban ghettos
around here, though I know what you're getting at. Part of
the Canadian national identity is feeling smugly superior
to our neighbours to the south when it comes to social
justice issues. There is endemic poverty and racism around
here though. But I don't have a personal national identity
in the sense that maybe a German or French or English
person does, perhaps because this country is multicultural.
I feel a closer tie to the east coast region where I live
than to the country as a whole. I'm not aware of an
identifiable national character. What is the stereotype
about Canadians? That we are bland and boring perhaps and
play ice hockey? So while I appreciate what you write,
things are not quite the same here. There are government
policies and actions I consider wrong and that I may oppose
vigorously, but I don't feel ashamed of them. I didn't do
them and I don't agree with them so why would I feel shame
about them? But about feeling, here is where I agree with
you. As I look back at my path, my life journey so far, it
has been all about becoming able to feel, allowing defenses
and barriers to fall away. To me it seems that it's a
natural consequence of coming to an understanding of the
oneness of all that it should be so, as time passes I seem
to grow more able to allow barriers to feeling to fall
away. The understanding is sudden, then comes the slow
gradual process of letting the walls melt away.

Mon pays ce n'est pas un pays, c'est l'hiver
Mon jardin ce n'est pas un jardin, c'est la plaine
Mon chemin ce n'est pas un chemin, c'est la neige
Mon pays ce n'est pas un pays, c'est l'hiver
(Gilles Vigneault)

My country is not a country it's the winter,
My garden is not a garden it's the plain,
My road is not a road it's the snow,
My country is not a country it's the winter.

It's from a song by a Quebecois folksinger who is strongly
associated with the Quebec separatist and nationalist
movement, so there is some irony in my quoting it.



Dear Piet and Bruce, It was great to read your words about
shame, guilt and violence. I too believe that shame has a
sacred purpose, that indeed "shame is the golden key". It
seems that apart from rare avatars who are born awake, the
rest of us humans have to suffer the torment of living as
cases of mistaken identity, or to start looking deeper. I
know of no more painful belief than "I am a mistake". In my
case it was the spur that started the search for who I
really was, and as such, it was actually a blessing. love
and greetings, Betty



My context is easy to guess: the NondualitySalon mailing
list, which I see as a part of the modern spiritual
movement, with all it's trainings, groups, Satsangs, books,
tapes. Which in itself is a part of the whole movement of
the earth.

I agree with your 'computer'. And I don't have any problems
with the biological (burned in so to say) programs. I think
the problems come with the higher (more superficial) layers
of the software - the social conditioning.

These conditionings are often against the biological base
(otherwise 'morale' wouldn't be neccessary) and they are
old and fixed (often their roots are hundreds or even
thousands of years back in time). Thus they are not
applicable for the individual and the shift taking place.

I'm personally more interested to erase these software
layers, than replacing them with new concepts (say about
consciousness, enlightenment, nonduality and such). I
believe (and I have personal experience to a certain degree
with it), that it is basically enough to destroy the
superficial spiritual and social conditionings. The
underlying base of the individuals is intelligent and
bug-free (and different in each person).

And if the persons (after putting the superficial spiritual
and social conditionings aside a little) then "connect" or
"tune in" to what is happening at large, everything will
develop in a natural way. This "connection with the cosmic"
energy, as some call it, is for me the natural functioning
of the body/mind system.

We are not isolated biological computers, so to say, we are
input/output devices (of limited intelligence) of the
central computer. And instead of using our peripheral
intelligence to store telefone numbers, and use the central
intelligence for life-determining decisions (like whom to
date with), we were misprogrammed by society to ignore the
connection to the Tao and follow the programs the society
put into our peripheral little bio-computer (say best dates
are Coca-Cola drinkers).



Who is that "we"? It is nothing but the "me-Jivano" and
sure the "me-entity" hates to hear it has no volition.That
is cutting it's very basis of existence. It will not
accept, till it itself does the unravelling.

Let's not be under false notion. All seeking, all spiritual
doing, all meditation or whatever song and dance one is
upto, is being done by this "me-entity" including the
unravelling process that I am suggesting. In most of the
doing, the "me-entity" is strengthened, it changes colour
no doubt, takes on spiritual hues but remains in all it's

In the unravelling of the "personal doership", as it keeps
getting evidence, that nothing has been done by it, and yet
doing is continuously taking place, then the authentic
question arises, Then Who The Hell Am I. At this stage the
rush is to answer with the usual NDS terminologies,
Consciousness, Nouemenon, etc etc, but that's all the doing
of the "me-entity" itself.

But as the dude Ramana put it "your head is in the tiger's
mouth". And an acausal apperception may occur.

What is "appeception"? It is a perception without a
perciever, it is perception that, to that authentic,
existential question, there cannot be an answer within the
conceptual and phenomenal context.



Dear Melody

Kia Ora and Greetings

In response to your statement 'how does the dead go about
doing this'. Well of course you are probably aware that
this reference comes from the sayings of Jesus of Nazareth
when teaching those close to him about the importance of
remaining clear, present, alert and exquisiteness divinely
in touch with the living dynamic teaching.

I recall the Master Jesus saying 'let the dead bury the
dead'. Obviously my interpretation meaning those that are
caught up in the past dead rituals, teachings that no
longer have meaning or substance to the present moment.
Anything that is outside of the requirement of the
immediacy of now.

It is my belief Melody that anyone who is a living master
endlessly lives in the creation of this teaching in
bringing those that come to the teaching which is the
ever-present living dynamic uncompromising availability of
what is present.

The wedding of course, the metaphor of the wedding, is for
those who have stepped outside the old paradigm of dead
acceptable tolerable ritual. That which the unavailable to
complete and total spontaneity of being choose to embrace.
But not only choose to embrace out of intelligent
spontaneous appraisal but out of fear. Fear to be seen as
different, fear to be seen as vibrant, alive, radiant and
totally uncompromising in relationship to any past. To see
the past as fully, utterly and completely fully dead.

It seems today for many disciples that they almost want to
constantly exhume repetitiously their dead masters. All
along of course missing their masters of the supreme divine
absolute subjectivity keeps throwing up into the illusion
of appearance.

What this means Melody is disciples are like the leaf-worm,
they won't let go of one leaf until they are bloody sure of
the next one. The funny thing is to the mature disciples,
the masters are always saying 'jump, don't think about it
just jump'. Of course the preparation up to this point and
it's always at the right timing that the master requires
the disciple to jump as that they are asked not to think.

For as soon as one thinks, they're back in the reoccuring
conundrum of thought, thinker, and thinking.

Melody, I've noticed over the weeks that you have a
particular liking or drawing towards the writing of
Rajneesh. He was certainly an unusual character to say the
least. His asleep disciples are the ones goring on
addiction and those and many still are identifying
themselves as the bodymind complex were caught up in the
illusion of seeing Master Rajneesh as an Indian, utterly
fooled by the form.

The teachings working through the bodymind called Rajneesh
were never Rajneesh. Supreme consciousness as it does
always explictly used that bodymind complex to teach for
the time that it was required here in the phenomenal plane.

I I'd better stop here Melody, just in case you're finding
this a load of hogwash or I'm starting to offend somebody
at NDS which might be one of my fortes.

Love forever and ever.




Melody wrote: "I recall the Master Jesus saying 'let the
dead bury the dead'. Obviously my interpretation meaning
those that are caught up in the past dead rituals,
teachings that no longer have meaning or substance to the
present moment. Anything that is outside of the requirement
of the immediacy of now."

SARLO: I have a further association to add to this. When
Jesus said this -- as i have heard -- it was in the context
of Jesus telling a disciple whose father had just died not
to bother going to the funeral, and the implication was
that he, Jesus, was fully alive (as a living master) and
that Peter (or whoever) would be better off in his company
than with the funeral-goers.

This story was in the commentary of a Tarot card in an
earlier set based on Osho's discourses -- earlier ie than
the Osho Transformation Tarot now in circulation. The older
set was called the Rajneesh Neo-Tarot. In the days of the
Oregon ranch, they put a different card on each of the
doors to the rooms of the hotel there. When my family came
to visit me there, the room they stayed in had the "Come
Follow Me" card, ie this one with the story and quote of

As fate -- or whatever -- would have it, this was the last
time i saw my father alive. He died six months later.
Remembering the card, i did not go to bury him, although i
was not at the ranch any more, but i did go a week later to
visit and be with family.



God, the Satguru, the Self, the truth, the Beloved, how so
ever one wants to call that what is not speakable, needs my
attention every moment in that what is called "my" life. It
needs "my" devotion, "my" remembering in every day to day



Dear all, yes, it seems the phase of consciousness
experiencing itself in the Guru/disciple game is over. I
believe many of us did this and it was a necessary stage.
Now it seems that we have to grow up and be our own
authority. This does not mean, that a realizer is not
needed, who walked the way further and who is adressing the
ones being with him/her where they are at. The mind/ego is
so tricky and it dresses up so perfectly, so that there is
a great possibility to be trapped. Also the unconscious
pattern are driving forces, unless there is light to be
brought to them and repressed feelings are embraced and

Greetings and beyond



Almost all the timethere is nobody home. There is only
identification. What "I" can decide is not to identify. But
first I have to see that there is no one home. No master in
the house. Just the parade of personalities drunk in public
house of consensus reality. The separation from all those
is the realization of nothingness. This is only the
beginning of the journey.

In the parable of the carriage (body), horse (emotions),
driver (mind) the driver is in the public house drunk on
consensus reality. The driver leaves the public house and
gets up on the carriage and takes hold of the reins
(attention) and now is able to direct the horse mainly by
saying go right or left. He has no real control over the
horse. The horse is the power or the energy or the fuel.
There is still no master on board. The master is the one
who sits in the carriage and give directions to the driver
(mind) through inner voice. The driver can't really decide
anything. The driver can be as a bowl which is turned
upward to receive rather than one turned downward and
filled with illusions of being in control.



I have heard that U.G. Krishnamurti went and saw Ramana and
at one point asked him. "Can you give me what you have."
Evidently the Sage said, "I can give it but can you take

So perhaps it all boils down to that.

And of course one need not go to India or another country
to seek a master.

Master is only where you are. One has to where One Is.



One thing I find amusing however, is this path of no path
thing, this 'there
is no teaching', there is no 'right or wrong'. I'm sure
it's just
projection and resistance on my part, but if that is really
the case, why do
you care what I think and feel? Why the baiting? Could it
be that you feel
you are right? If we are all Everything what does it matter
what 'I' think
in the final analysis. Words are indeed a barrier. Written
form even

The love behind your efforts, however, is seen and
acknowledged. See me bow
to you, my heart open, to return what was offered in full



There is no nonduality experience, (except as conceptually
"realized" to be nondual, which means that any "nonduality
experience" is a duality experience).

There is no escape hatch.

This is It.



I am no God I am no Human (sounds cruel) How can I describe
what I am not? In breaking my head to describe what "I am"?
A "mind-search"? I am just this. The essence "for the
awareness of my being was/is in writing or in speaking - is
the flavour of the gaps beetween the words or maybe what
words can point to. My language is not born yet. And it
hurts. It sits below my throat it feels. Since the words
all have a certain meaning and labeling sticking to
themselves. And for each and everybody might more or less
this always be a different meaning. I am not educated. I
dont know much. A reason to compare? Some more shame added
here. It is not only being German. It is not so easy at the
moment here to write when I read all these letters here.
And I need to be here - waiting for myself to speak more.



The way I see it the nonduality experience can easily
become a comfortable place for the sleepy unaware ego to
hang out in. In large part it is a projection on the
enlightend state encouraged by students of Indian mystics
who were looking to escape the realities of everyday life
in the West. Fair enough - but nowadays some are returning
home and realising (yes)there is more work to do.
Hmmmmm.... Encouraging the idea of nonduality is only
telling half the story. Try: "Sorry I was late today boss
and we missed that $10million contract but we are all one
so it doesn't really matter does it..." Or: "Sorry I fucked
your friend last night but I love him/her also and we are
all one aren't we..." Or: Scenes from the Serbian war which
don't need to be gone into here.... ... you know what I
mean from your own life I'm sure. Nonduality is a beautiful
space but it's easy to get stuck there, and it is really
poor without the shitty richness of separation on the
planet we actually live in. New York
stations and everything... So today there is a creation
called heaven and yesterday there was one called hell. Is
there any difference? Damn right there is - pain and
separation are a part of this thing called life and that's
where I see the challenge to bring the nonduality
experience back into this place called home.



Dear Polar,

in the late hour of the early night I am pondering over
your words "shitty richness of separation", it is that,
that keeps me up late in the night sweating to find the
right words, trying to connect, looking for approval,
feeling guilty of not being able to create more beauty of
nonduality, yes I guess I just love that creation.

Love Judit



Yeah, the city...the city doesn't care. The city will break
your heart. Just when you think you have found a nice
apartment the city will raise your rent. Just when you get
used to parallel parking your car, the city will break in
and steal your radio. You'll be walking along having a fine
nonDual walk and the city will roar past in a big
fume-spewing bus. Or the city will jump in front of you
demanding spare change. The'll find a lover
there for a night but in the morning she'll leave and never
come back. You'll go out to the park to get some sun and
some jerks will be playing rap music too loud. You try to
meditate and about a million fire trucks go screaming past
your house. The damned city. Too loud, too noisy and you
can never get enough of it.

The city is like the deity in the Old Testament...on moral
grounds, undefendable, so the only thing you can do is give
it praise.

Wait..what about Duality?...well...Duality sleeps in the
nearly hidden dry canal bed under Orange Street, shivering
with the homeless people. Duality sits on a bar stool at 2
AM Saturday night still hoping against hope to get laid.
Duality stays all day in the library looking for answers in
dusty old books. Duality argues with the meter maid and
duality smokes its big cigar in the park on a fine Autumn
afternoon. Duality is always hungry and Duality is afraid
to die. Duality is about to alienate its last friend by
borrowing 20 bucks which it knows it will never repay.
Duality is out looking for those guys who are hiding out in
NonDuality and is going to kick their ass.



Yeah, the country doesn't care. The country will break your
balls. Just when you think you have found a nice rock to
sit on, the country will send a mosquito to get your itch
going. Just when you get used to gazing at the sky and the
clouds, the country will distract you with flowers and
other sexual safety deposit boxes just bursting to get your
seed. You'll be walking along, having a fine Dual walk and
the country will grab you with spider webs and prickly
seeds and velcro imitations meant to spread the word. The
evangelist country will take your heart and open it wide.
Open hearts bleed. If you're wide, you can't afford to make
pickles and jam. You can't afford to have a dog named Jake
and domestic hens to give you eggs you won't fertilize with
your patient love and feed with your placental hopes. You
can't take the time to slow down to meet the season's
needs. You live in the city and can never get enough of it
because it does not exist.

The country is like the Torah, you must argue with it for
months on end just to reap a crop of cautious agreement on
the definition of terms. And even then, you know you will
talk for years to know the truth. The only thing you can do
is take the other side and argue it with joy for the
learning that will come.

Well, what about Nonduality? Nonduality sits in the dried
up stream bed and waits for the spring that it is.
Nonduality throws an acorn at you and chatters in tongues
hoping you will leave well enough alone. Nonduality asks
for ice and responds to steam. Nonduality rises just to
fall. Nonduality loves this word play and you. (and so do



Nonduality for me doesn´t mean to have no feelings. Just
the other way around to be total alive and authentic.



I have witnessed with my own eyes a blissful person in the
awake state, some might say, Im not blissful, they are, im
definetly not awake yet, for sure.

But i wonder maybe,( i dont know) When one is in the
presence of a blissful awake person, where is the cognition
of bliss being cognized? In me.Where are the feeelings of
bliss being felt? In me.How is the other ever blissful. I
am. All i know is myself, what else is there I can deny
that its mine so then i will project it out there, then
there appears a blissful enlightened teacher. It seems i
set it all up. I believe what i want to believe, i get the
experience that follows from that belief. I set up concepts
and then obey those concepts. I feel bliss of another
person and then forget myself. I do it. I do it all



ANDREA: Greeting to all, I am a lost case in passionately
wanting , longing , hanging out with the devine. what on
earth can give me a replacement of this unspeakable joice
to be in the presence of the BELOVED one. I am missing the
ability in writing how Rumi did, and I will find my way of
expressing this. What can we say, if we don't learn to
praise, to cry it out. How poor our lifes would be. I am a
young lion still, and in my understanding serving and
surrender has to be given to become a big lion. Maybe some
of you are already big lions? But then where are you? How
does serving take place in your daily life??

But please no answers like :to whom you want to surrender
if nobody is there? And everything is a thought etc. etc.
These are for me just another cases of selfimportance

JB: The book "Daughter of fire" by Irina Tweedie is about
surrender, not about service. As long as no experiential
certainty is established about Self/God/Allah, surrender is
painful, because it tears away conditioning and this will
hurt as "one will be left with absolutely nothing"... When
that experiential certainty is established, surrender
becomes unconditional. But this could be called an "ideal"
scenario as not many will get their doubts cleared in such
a way that from then on surrender is effortless ("losing"
oneself actually becomes a great joy).

Those who got their experiential certainty beyond doubt
weren't necessarily Sufis: Nachiketas (Katha Upanishad) and
Ramana are two examples.

LARRY:Hi Andrea, if you are interested in serving and
you might look into Tibetan buddhism. My background is with
Shambhala, which is also in Germany. Shambhala is both
traditional vajrayana buddhist and it also has a
nonreligeous form which was created by Chogyam Trungpa.
There is a tremendous amount of serving and surrender
involved, and it's all quite literal. Lots of volunteer
work and many activities, spiritual and social. If you get
hooked up with a large center, there should be many
opportunities to serve visiting lamas. Very cool! Other
buddhist centers would be similar, but Tibetans will
probably be the most lively.



Fred Wilkey, who submitted the inquiry about nondual
healing, has sent the following letter and allowed use of
his name and email. Right now he's in the same position
many of us were in not very long ago: getting used to email
and cyberspace, and his computer. I hope he'll join us
on-list when the time is right. This is the letter. Thank
you, Fred.



Thank you very much for your responses to my query on
healing from a nondualism perspective. Also, thank you for
putting my question out there. I am quite new to
cyberspace; I have a lot to learn and am taking it slow. I
have an i-opener, which is an internet access device
without a computer, and my capabilities are limited.

I was grateful and awed by the responses which came back.
There were certainly some good leads to follow, especially
the one on Robert Adams. A friend who was with him for
years is researching her old transcripts for the
information on healing that Jessica referred to.

Almost all descriptions of what is called spiritual healing
these days, and in the past, are dualistic in conception.
There is one person fixing another person of a specific
condition. Regardless of how the healing process is
languaged, there are clear elements of separation built
into the process. In the West, only Joel Goldsmith and
perhaps Emmet Fox speak of eliminating one's sense of self
and one's sense of other and one's sense of condition
(wrong or right). At least, that's all I've been able to
find so far.

Ramana Maharshi made a response to a question from Mercedes
de Acosta (see her article on about
praying for others. The gist was that at the level of
(true) prayer, there are no others and no self. "There is
no need for prayer for yourself or any person other than to
abide within the Self." There are also stories about him
denying any healing ability or intent, but acknowledging
that healings often took place around him. Also, Carl Jung,
in Mysterium Coniunctionis (p. 419-20, in a footnote)
relates a story from Richard Wilhelm about a Taoist
rainmaker, who said he didn't make the rain, he got himself
"back in Tao and then naturally the rain came."

Nowadays, we have the language of advaita, so many things
are now being put into nonduality wording, but it seems no
one is yet doing that with "healing." However, I can make a
few conjectures. Nondual healing presupposes a profoundly
realized grasp of Truth, or God, or the Divine. Next, it
presupposes that the nondual healer is already past
Awakening or Enlightenment. Then, the nondual healer can
"get back in Tao" or "abide in the Self" or "go into
Silence" or some other inadequate phrase. There also needs
to be an advanced degree of liberation from the beliefs one
has about the body, the mind, the world; it's necessary but
not sufficient to realize the illusory nature of the
individual self. After Awakening, there still remains a
whole lot of junk lying around. It doesn't automatically
vanish; this is probaby why Nisargadatta reportedly said
that Enlightenment was "of no earthly good whatsoever."
This stuff gradually goes in its own good time; I think the
disposal can be expedited by nonjudging attention. There
also needs to be some sort of openness or willingness or
receptivity on the part of the individual who is the
non-object of the non-healing.

As you can see, this whole thing is in a formative stage
for me. I certainly appreciate and can use all the help
that can come my way. Please feel free to post this reply
where you first posted the question, and include my name
and e-mail address. I will look into joining your
discussion group as I grow more knowledgeable and
comfortable in this brave new world.

Thank you all very much.

Fred Wilkey [email protected]



Some sharing: I always keep trying (!) to be open and empty
and clean so that God can live and speak through me. So
yesterday evening I was out in the country on the pushbike
enjoying the wonderful creation in duality,seeing the earth
being opened by the plug after harvest and feeling like
looking into the womb of my own mother. there was this
kindergarden teacher talking to one of the little boys who
tried fixing his shoelace, saing that we don't need to do
everything so well... and suddenly I saw the possibility of
listening - listening to God and God speaks everywhere! in
the big cars rushing past me on the countryroad, in the
late flowers by the wayside, in my own breath, in the
pattern of the clouds in the sky, in the misunderstandings
that upset me so, in the upset, in the NDS, at home, at
work, in my maneuvers just listening God speaks through
everyone including me if I want to listen

love to you all, Hazel

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