Jerry Katz
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Highlights #551

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Sunday, December 3, 2000

I enjoyed the NDS this Sunday. Little in the way of attacks, and
several interesting ongoing conversations. I excerpted only a few bits
from the longer conversations, and recommend that you check out the NDS
itself if the excerpts whet your whistle...

Cee and Dan composed poetry about teaching:

i meant no disrespect
when i suggested dan
be teaching

for me
the day i met the teacher
i fell to my knees and wept for joy
cause i knew i was home free

s(he) showed me exactly where to look
in the sweetest and most direct way
this is the great gift, beyond measure

eventually i discovered it was only
my own divine self
teaching itself

what could be more beautiful
what could be more fun!

here on the screen
the line between
learning and teaching
is -----where?

the less there is someone
behind the words
the more they ring true

i bow to all my teachers

i love to be taught
i love to teach

being so alive with joy
it's just natural

love, cee


Dear Cee,

I did not for a second
note any disrespect.

Funny how words construe
themselves as meaning
in apparent minds.

Ah, but when the mind
notices that there
only appears "mind"
when "construal" appears.

This is a unique instant!

This instant of no-mind,

Spaciousness, free for a
thought to appear and dissolve.

And freedom as the space
that is not-thought.

And where will hide in this
space any states such
as "alive" or "dead",
where will there be found
any entities such as
"teacher" or "student",
where will there be
anything to be had
such as "learning"?

Anything that can be gained
will be lost.

Tao is mother, father,
child, grave, and birthplace.


Jerry reinitiated a conversation with Jan, begun before Jerry's computer

Jan (from late in November): In the Patanjali Sutras, an entire chapter
is dedicated to power. The mechanism of acquiring power is what I have
defined as "messing with the identification matrix". The identification
matrix is the entire array of identifications (they are linked, related)
and they include everything that makes up a human being - that includes
urges, like breathing and sexuality too.

Patanjali, chapter III is devoted to what could be called substitution:
replace one identification with another one (the desired siddhi). In
simple language, by (temporarily) forgetting the identification
'feeling of body' and identifying with a cloud, the body will levitate.
The art of arbitrary identification is very difficult - and it will only
bring more bondage. For the "dedicated" nondualist, the identification
matrix could be called ultimate bondage - the sum of everything, said to
be either "human" or "natural". So such a one doesn't have a choice but
to "wait" for the collapse of that identification matrix. In the vast
majority of cases however, the collapse is simultaneous with the death
of the body - "bad luck again" :) But this is, what the term "siddha"
is referring to...

Love, Jan

Jerry (Sunday): Hi Jan,

You wrote the above letter prior to my computer crash and your car
crash. I'm thinking that a little messing with the identification matrix
isn't all that bad as long as one realizes absolutely nothing is being
done. Eventually the identification matrix has to be unlinked and broken
up. I've called the identification matrix the chainwheel of sadness and
desire. Once the chainwheel is unlinked there's a moment in the sun, but
immediately the chainwheel is re-built. Each time the chainwheel is
rebuilt it's links are more and more dreamlike, less real. This
rebuilding of the chainwheel might be something like Patanjali's

Power may be called messing with the chainwheel, but it's also an
understanding of the links within the chainwheel. It can also be called
the unlinking of the chainwheel.

In any case there always appears to be the chainwheel. There's always
the unchanging atmosphere in which the chainwheel rolls and grinds.


Jan (Sunday):
Not exactly a car crash - that wouldn't have changed a foot into a lump
of flesh, twice its normal circumference :) A high speed slide with the
scooter... The messing with the identification matrix can only take
place when being convinced something is done or achieved - otherwise the
process of substituting an existing identification by another one is
impossible: chapter III of the Patanjali Sutras requires an "I" - that's
why it is said that messing only brings more bondage. But the natural
collapse of the matrix is something quite different - one example: one
moment, fear can be experienced and the next, fear has become impossible
and fear as a feeling can't be remembered anymore. The natural collapse
is one-way only. Another matter is that sensitiveness could be compared
to a plant that easily grows roots. The sensitiveness being one of the
strongest identifications, it is one of the last and when collapsed,
that is final and the end of both enjoying and feeling pain in the usual
sense. ║ ║Power may be called messing with the chainwheel, but it's
also an ║understanding of the links within the chainwheel. It can also
be called ║the unlinking of the chainwheel.

The links will show by themselves, power isn't the objective but
sometimes the knowledge of it will arise by itself. ║ ║In any case
there always appears to be the chainwheel. There's always ║the
unchanging atmosphere in which the chainwheel rolls and grinds. ║

It is true that identification is powerful and it requires power to
reverse it. From another perspective, almost the entire program of the
organic computer is "upgraded" and quite a lot of subroutines are erased
from memory. Thus, more processing power is available but it cannot be
predicted how this power will be used. It becomes "interesting" though,
when life-support systems no longer are automatic, and systems that are
no longer used will disappear as a potential. After all, where resides
gravity but "in the mind"?


Harsha gave some sound advice:

Stay where you are. See where you are. Look, but do not look away. The
Guru is Grace. Always Present As Your Own Self. When infatuation with
words, methods, technique, and practice drops in awareness, attention
becomes automatically focused on its Source with utterly overwhelming
power. The Self Is Realized as Complete and Total Immediacy that is not
different than where you already are and who you already are.


Jerry posted a biographical response to Doc Hobbes' specific message w/
wide range impact:

Hi Doc,

Hearing the voice of the marginalized is a tradition at the Nonduality
Salon, one that is revived from time to time, but one which needs to
stay on the front burner. Afterall, we are a nonduality for the people.

It is true that people will walk over corpses on the way to the mall to
buy that piece of junk.

Nobody has respect for the land. And what is the land? It is where you
are now. If respected, it will show the horrors and reveal the answers.
Like you say, Doc, there is only one surface on this coin.

In 1982 I was a waiter in Los Angeles. It was a time in my life when I
had an acute sensitivity to others, for some reason. There was a woman
named Miriam who came in almost every day. I could see dead, shriveled
bodies clinging to her. There was a Greek man named George who ordered
cheese blintzes and always had a hard-backed copy of one of the
Upanishads. One day I asked him what the Upanishads were about. He
didn't answer right away. When he did, he said one word: nonduality. I
asked what nonduality was and he explained, but I don't remember what he
said. I didn't understand. There was another man, Bill Watson, who told
me to buy shares in Microsoft stock, explaining that they had DOS and
that every computer had to use DOS. One day a blonde girl named Dolores
came in and I knew immediately upon seeing her that we'd be together,
and on our first date that night she drew a map of Nova Scotia on a
napkin and I knew I wanted to live there.

What I'm trying to say in my own particular way is that the answers are
all around us. If only they could be seen, heard, understood, followed.
Everything needs to be respected. The land needs to be respected and the
people, the rocks, everything living, dead and subtle upon it. And what
is that land? It is where one is. The land, if respected, will reveal
all answers. The answer is not some piece of junk at the mall. Yet
people will take the diginity of another in order to get that piece of
junk at the mall. We take a piece of land and put a dream on it, a mall
with junk in it. We abuse other pieces of land so that we can get to
that piece of land with the mall and the piece of junk in it.

This land, this land right here and now with all the beautiful living
creatures on it is being abused so that one could get to another piece
of land with a clown and a piece of junk behind glass.

This land contains all answers. See Miriam, but don't hide or avoid.
Instead listen to George and Bill and go with Dolores.


Terry Murphy continued a conversation with Sandeep:

In nondualism, savior and saved are the same persons.

In "The Inner Life," Hazrat Inayat Khan says:

"The attributes of a disciple are reserve, thoughtfulness,
consideration, balance, and sincerity. Special care should be taken
that during the time of discipleship one does not become a teacher, for
very often a growing soul is so eager to become a teacher that before he
has finished the period of discipleship he becomes impatient. It should
be remembered that all the great teachers of humanity such as Jesus
Christ, Buddha, Muhammad, and Zarathustra, have been great pupils: they
have learned from the innocent child, they have learned from every
situation and every condition of the world; they have understood and
they have learned. *It is the desire to learn continually that makes
one a teacher* [my emphasis], and not the desire to become a teacher.
As soon as a person thinks, "I am something of a teacher," he has lost
ground. For there is only one teacher: God alone is the teacher, and we
are all His pupils. We all learn from life what life teaches us; and
the day when a soul begins to think that he has learned all he had to
learn, and that now he is a teacher, he is very much mistaken. The
greatest teachers of humanity have learned more from humanity than they
have taught."

So all teachers are themselves disciples of the one true light; at all
times they are learning more as they 'teach' than the ostensible
disciple. Few genuine teachers would call themselves teachers, except
under intimate circumstances, with close disciples who understand the
word 'teacher' means nothing more than 'friend' or 'fellow traveler.'

<Ed: fairly major snipping here to conserve space...check out the NDS
if you want to see more.>

The jnani knows the emptiness of all activity, but nonetheless takes joy
in being creative, in a positive way. This is all about the will of the
individual merging with the Will of the nondual cosmic egg, a merging
which exists whether we realize it or not. People who realize it have
the potential of transforming the world, if their numbers increase to a
certain 'critical mass.' And those numbers are increasing. Among such
people it is not unreasonable to actually *use* that Will to create
things of lasting value, or deeply influence current events (Vivekananda
comes to mind).

Terry also posted:

Subject: Quote of the Day from the Jewel in the Lotus


Dharma is equal, the same for all beings. For high or low or
those in the middle, Dharma cares nothing.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma regards not the pleasant. Dharma is without partiality.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma depends not upon time. Timeless is Dharma.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.

Dharma hides not in the lofty while shunning the low.
Dharma bends neither upwards nor downwards.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma abides not in the whole while avoiding the broken.
Dharma is devoid of superior and inferior.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma pervades not the noble while fleeing the humble.
Dharma has no attachment in the fields of activity.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma seeks not the day while holding back in the night.
Dharma is constancy itself.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma loses not the chance to transform. No delay
accompanies Dharma.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.

Dharma is neither scarce nor abundant. It is without measure or
enumeration, and like space it neither shrivels nor grows.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma requires no protection by guardians; all beings are
guarded by Dharma.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma seeks no refuge, for it is the refuge of all the world.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma finds none to resist it. Irresistible is Dharma.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma plays no favourites. Without preference is Dharma.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.
Dharma fears not the terrors of birth and death, nor does
Nirvana entice it. Without misgiving is Dharma.
So must I make my thought like Dharma.

Dharmasangiti Sutra

Mary Bianco contributed a poem:

In cleaning some old files I came upon this poem given to me by a
passerby. It was a gem of a gift that this passerby would like to


Six black herons flew northward;
the first fireflies flared up,

one by one, inside the heart of the evening.
(My friend T. would have said,

They find a green thought,

lose it and find it again,
time after time against the sullen,

unconvinced mass of shrubs.)

For whom do they glow?

For all those who wait for time to pass.
For all those who walk bent into the wind.

The old lady knitting for hours
without looking up. The dog who waits

all day under the tree for the shadow
to lengthen, for the first breeze

to swirl the dust in the yard, for rain to come.
The old Mexicans sitting so still

outside the rural bus station.
What are they waiting for? The bus?

Arriving or departing? Neither one.
They wait for life, a gift

abruptly thrust on them, to pass.
- Lars Gustafsson
(Translated, from the Swedish, by Yvonne L. Sandstroem.)

Love, Mary

Marcia and Melody conversed about the concept of self:

The body, mind, emotions are still there but my sense of self as the
body, mind, emotions isn't there. There is witnessing but no witness.
Sometimes what passes for this is "thinking about" or the mind looking
at the emotions or body.

The sense of self "as" is what I call identification.


I hear what you're saying here, Marcia.

It is very much like the 'player upon the stage' metaphor we have used
often in the past.

When we observe our act-ions .....from the position of 'audience'....our
sense of identity AS this player or that player is loosened. And it is
this 'loosening' of identity which prepares the ground for it's eventual
'falling away'.....even as those same actions continue to play out
'upon the stage'.

These past days I've been 'watching' my own actions more and more
closely......and paying particularly close attention to those thoughts
and feelings that tend to 'anchor in' a sense of identity, rather than
lighten it.

I have been rather stunned to notice all the thoughts and feelings that
arise and then get censored consciously......but yet successfully
manage to 'anchor in' some sort of identity position....albeit an
unconscious one.

Last week someone to me said, "Melody, you don't have to be happy".

Those words shook my whole body like a thunder bolt. And then they
brought tears of joy.....and a tremendous sense of relief.....and

Up until that moment I hadn't a clue that the " pursuit of happiness"
(one of the principal values held dear by our founding fathers, for
crying out loud) was what tended to *enslave* me, rather than open me
towards more and more liberty.

Identity tends to be built up - based on how well (or how poorly) one
measures their happiness quotient.... a quotient rarely of one's own

To let go of the 'promise' of happiness....and the expectations.....and
the disappointments

is to free myself to fully fall in love with
......this moment right here, right now.


Finally, James Bean continued his periodic postings of meditations of
Ramesh Balsekar:

True worship is effortless, supreme meditation in the continuous,
unbroken awareness of the within, the indwelling presence. It requires
no effort because there is nothing in it to be attained which one does
not already possess.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~

What is generally understood to be prayer is nothing more than one
fictitious entity called 'me' begging for something from another
fictitious entity called 'God'.

Humbly submitted,

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