Jerry Katz
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Highlights #616

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Friday February 9, 2000

white wolfe remembers where he has and has not understand not...his message is one of

"That is not what I meant. That is not what I meant at all."
-T.S. Elliot


further up and further in,

white wolfe

What is Endless is Love

"Forget. Surrender. Love."

white wolfe sits alone in the snowy darkness

humbly sitting in drifting white snow
his open ears hearing the cosmic wind
his golden eyes burning the silver moon
his sensitive nose touching the stars
his wild voice and song in harmony
with all that is within and that is beyond...

humility is the beginning of surrender,
surrender is the beginning of love,
love is the beginning of compassion
compasssion endures
that which endures goes far
that which goes far returns
that which returns has no end
that which has no end is endless
compassion is endless
therefore, humility is endless,
therefore, surrender is endless
therefore, love itself is endless
therefore the lover is endless
therefore the beloved is endless

Therefore, the lover and beloved are one
i who am sometimes called Mark am endless
i who recognize myself as white wolfe am free.

I am the Lover in love with the Beloved.
I am the white wolfe in love with the moon.

with all that is within and that is beyond
his wild voice and song in harmony
his sensitive nose touching the stars
his golden eyes burning the silver moon
his open ears hearing the cosmic wind
humbly sitting in drifting white snow

white wolfe calls silently to you and me always
to follow, follow him into and beyond the drifting Moon.

white wolfe sits not alone in the snowy darkness.

Mark Christopher Valentine

From the "oldies but goodies"

-----Original Message-----
From: Greg Goode [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Friday, June 25, 1999 6:44 PM
Subject: [HarshaSatsangh] "Who Am I?" and the "Lucknow Disease"

Speaking of "Who am I," there's a funny story told by a teacher who spent
lots of time with Papaji (Poonjaji). It's related to a spiritual condition
suffered by some seekers called "The Lucknow Disease," named after the city
in which Papaji taught.

In Papaji's teachings for this group of seekers in the early 90's, it was a
big part of their inquiry to ask "Who Am I" at all possible junctures.
According to this teacher, who was in the middle of it all and saw/heard
lots of funny stuff, here's how it happened:

Any time someone would even casually say, "I'm hungry," or "I have to go to
the loo," another earnest seeker would ask like the spiritual police,
"Who's hungry?" "Who has to go to the loo?" So there developed a way of
speaking that would avoid using the pronoun "I," which would supposedly
indicate the gradual effacement of the ego or "I-thought." It got to the
point that people would say stuff like "This form is tired," or "There is
hunger arising." This avoidance of the "I" word, in order to display one's
understanding, is the Lucknow Disease.

One time there were these two seekers hanging around Papaji's house, they
were friends, I'll call them Bill and Prem. Bill was newer to the non-dual
perspective than Prem, who was quite a devotee, already had his spiritual
name. One day they were waiting for the satsang, which would start a bit
later. Bill offered the Prem a drink, "Would you like coffee or tea?"
Prem, who was pretty deep into the Teaching, replied, "There's no one here
to choose." Later, when the satsang was about to start, Prem was sitting
in another room. Bill went in to warn Prem that another person had
occupied his cushion, which had been parked waiting right up in front by
Papaji's chair. Prem, before he caught himself, blurted out, "That no
good #%@&#@ so-and-so, I'll get the @#$% #*@!$$&# !!!"



Thanks for the humor Greg. The former presidential candidate Bob Dole often
addressed himself in the third person in speeches. He probably got the
advaita vedanta vote but it was not enough to get him into the office. Which
is too bad. We need a leader who understands that there is no one home, and
that indeed there is a missing "me" which can only be referenced
conceptually but not actually caught. Of course we did not fare badly with
our last President who is a scholar and a gentleman. President Clinton
put his finger on the fundamental existential issue, when he sincerely told
the grand jury, everything depends on what the definition of "is" is. :-).



Very interesting and funny, guys. I'm of the school of thought that answers Who am I? with: I AM
Jerry Katz. I AM a friend, a brother, son. I AM an office worker. I AM a resident of Halifax. I AM a
member of Jumbo Video and NDS. I AM a college graduate. That is who I AM.

And if someone tells me I need to look into I AM itself, I can answer, How is Jumbo Video different
than I AM?

I AM this. I AM that. I AM I AM. I AM.

I AM (fill the blank)

I AM the universe. I AM a member of Jumbo Video. I AM. What's the difference in these
declarations? I am free to say what I want. Everything feels like I AM. No Master can tell me. No
teaching can teach me.

(unless i get married again...)




Aspirant: Master, I am plagued by apathy.

Mahara: Apathy? Who cares?

Aspirant: You mean, nobody cares?

Mahara: Precisely.

Aspirant: But I care.

Mahara: And who are you?

Aspirant: I am nobody, Master.

Mahara: Precisely.

Aspirant: I see what you mean.

Mahara: Do you?

Aspirant: I am nobody, and I care.

Mahara: And of what do you care?

Aspirant: That I am nobody!

Mahara: Precisely. So, what is apathy, in this case?

Aspirant: Apathy is, in this case, my fear that I am nobody.

Mahara: Why do you fear being nobody?

Aspirant: Because I want to be somebody.

Mahara: If you were somebody, who would you be?

Aspirant: I don't know.

Mahara: So then, is it true, that you want to be something, that you
don't know?

Aspirant: I guess so.

Mahara: What direction will you go, to find this unknown thing, this somebody?

Aspirant: (long pause) I don't know.

Mahara: Does anybody know?

Aspirant: Somebody must know.

Mahara: Is that why you want to be somebody? So you will know where
to go, to become somebody?

Aspirant: But if I was somebody, I would not need to go anywhere. I would know.

Mahara: How do you know?

Aspirant: That's right. I think I know that I don't know, and I feel
I need to know. So I set myself aside, to become what I am not. But I
am still what I am, even when I do that.

Mahara: Precisely.

Aspirant: Master, how do I get tied in these knots? It is painful.

Mahara: Desire.

Aspirant: But master, is it not good, to desire pure spiritual awareness?

Mahara: You are correct, it is not good.

Aspirant: But wait... (pause)

Mahara: Yes?

Aspirant: I was doing it again, wasn't I?

Mahara: Yes.

Aspirant: Why do I do that?

Mahara: You are doing it now, again.

Aspirant: I am? Now?

Mahara: Yes, now, as you ask.

Aspirant: Is it wrong to ask?

Mahara: (silent, smiles)

Aspirant: I must be completely insane! I am trapped in this utter

Mahara: Precisely!

Aspirant: What is going on? Is everybody insane?

Mahara: Yes, everyone is insane.

Aspirant: Even you, master?

Mahara: Especially me, I am the worst of all. But there is one difference.

Aspirant: One difference, between you and I, and the others?

Mahara: Yes.

Aspirant: What is the difference?

Mahara: I am not trapped.

Aspirant: Trapped? In what?

Mahara: As you said, utter ridiculousness.

Aspirant: Why are you not trapped, like everyone else?

Mahara: I am not trapped, because I do not try to leave.

Aspirant: (pause) You are saying, that it is the attempt to leave,
which leads to frustration, and feelings of dissatisfaction.

Mahara: Precisely. Further, it is the feeling of dissatisfaction,
which is what one is actually trying to leave, to be away from. This
feeling of not being good enough, or right, or 'somebody'.

Aspirant: I see. Yes.

Mahara: Now, after all this has been said, what of apathy?

Aspirant: Apathy is the fear that I will try and fail, and will not
be able to escape the trap of utter ridiculousness. So I paralyze
myself, and call it apathy. But it really is a kind of willing, I see.

Mahara: Yes, that is it, precisely.

Aspirant: I am apathetic, because I am not angry or cheerful, or
anything. It is a kind of blank state, but unpleasant, all the same.

Mahara: Yes, and it is not laziness.

Aspirant: But it could lead to laziness, I suppose...

Mahara: That is another story. Now it is time to become nobody and go nowhere.

Aspirant: Thank you, master.

Mahara: Don't mention it.

==Gene Poole==


Seen on the Reciprocality website:

"Nonduality Salon: This mystically worded website is concerned
with the idea that we should see the universe as a whole, rather
than chopped up into little bits. This particularly applies to
the "division" between self and universe. The language is
interesting in itself - it's very hard to discuss this kind of
thing in language evolved by M0 societies."


Through Nonduality Salon - CI, Community Initiative, we've
received letters from people in Jakarta, Orange County
California, Seattle, San Francisco, Atlanta, Dallas, Cambridge,
Mass. These are people who want to meet other nondual types in
their area. Some of you are on the list and have written already
to the list about this. Can anyone help? Maybe Christiana knows
about the SF area.

Does anyone else want to get on the list of meeting people in
your area? Write me publicly or privately.


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