Jerry Katz
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Highlights #677

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Tuesday, April 10


Observed here -- at some point, 'removal of conditioning'
becomes completely automatic, or starts to be perceived as such.
"Tendencies" are always dropping off anyway, but the thing is,
more are usually being added.

Since there is no "I" at all (whether an illusion of one or not
appears), it's automatic anyway... the illusion of a doer or an
"I" does not in any way indicate one is there.

So what's to stop someone from 'removing conditioning?" If it
happens, it happens 'in spite of' the 'person making the
efforts', not because of it. It happens because that's what
occurs 'in the course of events'. And it requires that nothing
new be added, if 'deconditioning' is to happen.

Nobody can say that because an illusion of a doer or an "I"
appears, that that *illusion* is a reality? So even 'making an
effort' toward removing conditioning is nothing but 'attention
focusing' -- away from what 'adds conditioning'. If conditioning
drops, it drops... regardless of whether a doer is perceived to
be 'doing something'.


Yes, appreciating what you say here regarding the 'collective
unconscious'. In some ways, I was fortunate in my upbringing...
for some reason, a major percentage of that 'conditioning' never
took hold (or never was 'present' in the first place).

I can remember a scene in High School (age 16 or 17)... talking
with people in the gym. People were comparing personality traits
or types, and when it got to me, the conclusion was 'no
personality'. At the time, that stung badly, but 'discovering'
nonduality could not have been 'coincidence' (not to say it was
'preordained' either.. lol).

To find that it was not necessary to 'have a personality' (some
predefined conditioning by which people could 'figure me out')
was the first 'relief'... and also to find that I didn't "have
to" make some sort of "success in the world" ... the second.
There have been others... non-doership being yet another. No
wonder "my attempts to 'be somebody'" had always resulted in
complete failure...

Some believe in prior lifetimes (reincarnation), and I say 'the
jury is open' on that (it's a moot point from the 'nondual'
standpoint, just a dream)... but it can be interesting to
speculate what 'I' might have been involved with in a previous
lifetime... :-). Not that such speculation arises often... this
posting seems to have brought it up, and as a dream it will be
forgotten yet again...



"The Seeker"

I turned around one day and found that
I had lost my prison. It was no more.

Like a madman or a fool, I set out on a journey
to find my bondage, to find the prison I had been
occupying. Where did it go? Lost without it.

High and low I hunted, crossing mountains,
oceans. I asked a bird at the crossroads
of the Himalayas, but he had not seen it.

Still, wild-eyed and insane with foolishness,
I continued the quest to find my prison, and
I had no success in finding it. Luckless fool.

Many seas I crossed, many adventures, swimming
the oceans, conversing with dolphins and fish,
gabbing with clams, gossipping with coral reefs.

Thousand year old trees stood silently, speaking
nothing but freedom. I crossed forest after forest
and the moss grew heavy on my head, long and bearded.
Still, there were no prisons anywhere to be found.

So giving up on the world, I turned to space,
thinking to find my lost bondage there.

Galaxies I traversed, dancing among the nebulae;

I saw massive explosions of color and sound, but
no bondage there, no prisons, no lack of freedom.

Only gorgeous light-shows, hot suns being born,
Cold suns dying, beginnings and endings, but
always nothing but freedom, nowhere bondage.

I asked a black hole in the galaxy Andromeda, but
it had not seen any prison. It remained silent.
Breathing in, I absorbed it and continued wearily.

The stars shone bright and clear; wordlessly
they pointed, glinting and glowing, only free.
Cold points of light, hot points of fire,
everywhere, everywhere. Who could describe it?

Universes I crossed... but no prisons were evident
among the stars. No bondage was visible. The
quasars continued their pulsations; empty matter,
timeless light-beams, but no bar-shapes, no forms.

Forms among the formless, and not a bit of bondage
to be found, bits of space-dust mingling mindlessly.

And so finally giving up on this mad quest,
Dirty and beaten, dog-tired, hair standing
on end, body ravaged, skin pitted, eyeballs
turned in backward, bones devastated by travels
to places unknown, places unseen, formless
nowheres, I gave up the quest for bondage and
turning inside out, one bodymind among many,
lit off like a rocket, a trail of smoke upon
the sky, burning, brighter than the sun,
midnight sun, sandalwood incense stick.

A bright streak on the sky fading, always fading
until only the sky remained.
Only the sky.

... Omkara ...



Not even leading astray is possible - sooner or later, Yama will
pop up and "deliver" the "proper" message - non-audio-visual and
free of charge :) Not a coincidence, Yama anagrammatizes to


Even at age 12, I was considered a "loner", designing radios to
be constructed... So the question "personality" was never
raised, and being considered "bright student", as a "person"
what was "off limits" for others could be done with just a
warning... Like making TNT at the chemistry lab, because I
always had finished the experiments before the others had read
the text...


From the perspective of "transfiguration", "I" is moot as is
fear, automated thinking, shame, well, that familiar lot that
makes up "normal human being"... And apperception doesn't change
"normal human being" one bit. As a figure of speech, "normal
human being" - It's just conditioning... Only "maintained" or
"dissolution delayed" as a kind of "act of compassion or love".
When not "in demand", the "royal road to 'radical' freedom" :)
And no one to benefit from that - from whatever perspective :)



Hello Lists,

I received the letter below. Write me for this person's name and email
address if you are interested. We also now have three people in Atlanta
open to meeting others there. Anyone else open to meeting other nondual
types in their area, just let me know.



Dear Jerry;
My name is K--, I am an American living and working
in Bangkok. I would very much welcome any contacts
with non-dualists in this area of Thailand, that you
may be aware of. I recently spent a year in India and met many of
Papajis ambassadors as well as a few Indian Masters.



The one who is burning something
away, and that which is being
burned away, are the same.

The "collective unconscious" is
what "produces" the individual,
who then seeks to "decontaminate"
himself or herself.

No amount of deconditioning, dedication
to practices, reading of texts, etc.
will wipe the mirror clean.

It is only as realizing the mirror
never held anything at all, that
unconditional reality *is*.



the kosmic party - a replay

(a duet betwen mark & mira)

still your wandering mind,
your stillness goes without feet

silence your pounding heart,
your rhythm is just one beat

close your eyes and open your hands,
behold without sight and receive without need

now let your mystic mind
draw a perfect sphere
in circles there is no beginning
the end is always here

now let your sacred heart
beat at the center
the one place void of space and distance
you need not enter

standing outside this circle
step within its circumference
embrace yourself within your heart

neither go within, nor remain without
neither enter, nor stay nor depart

at the center of this sphere
is nothing, your beginning
before it commences

what does your face look like
what is the sound you hear
without senses

wander the circumference
this is something, your ending
a loop into sweet repetition

where does your beginning end
where does your ending begin
in the circle of self recognition

close your hands and open your eyes
receive without need and behold without vision

your sacred heart is laughing and dancing
your mystic mind is shining and singing
a twirl on the merry-go-round

with your left hand grab your right hand
start the music dancing
begin the brilliant singing
that is sung without sound

let your kosmic party begin
you are its one honored guest
the end was not lost
the beginning never found

white wolfe & mirror

(april 11, 2001)


Extraordinary Humanity indeed !
Have you checked out the internet lately ?..
What do you see ?
Enormous Output,.. from the grotesque to the sublime !.. science,
philosophy, litterature, jokes, spirituality by the thousands of
sites. If I was from another planet , I'd probably say: Wow!.. what a
fantasticly wise species !..
And yet, as you know, butchery.. physical and psychological goes on.
It seems that the Human, is somewhat defect ?..:
thinking I am 'I'.. one entity.. while functioning to one or another
of endless fragmets/actors in the psychic...
Shizophrenic anyone !..
.. anyways, weird, is it not ?
Coming closer home, .. us here, so many profound reflections in our
mails,.. and some beautifully written with a certain degree of
insight,.. thousands of words, and yet,.. 'whare' are we ?!
Let me share something:
See, it is not a question of androgenous or not or meticulos or not,
or this or the other, it is actually a matter of the dgeree of
conscious sublimation rendered via a charismatic enigma,.. mind
you 'enigma' as presented and divulged in the 4th book of the Divine
Bump, not to mention the nise of the motors building a building right
next to my building, here and now and then there and everywhere.. ALL
Because, she Simply Forgot to read the Quantum theory of Vivisection
with the unfortunate consequence that my left sock was never mended
with the appropriate pink thread !
You kno'wha'm'sayn' ?!

Now, suppose most or all of our mails, were of this caliber of
profoundly simple meaning, htough of course useless,.. If This was
the case..
DO YOU THINK THAT we would've been less 'wise' than now by virtue of
our quite Rational verbal exchanges ?
You do not know ?!..
Ok, That's honest !..
So, how about trying irrationality.. ?
Believe me, you will not go crazy..
though we might improve a bit on it.
Best wishes,
and thanks for allowing me to be ga-ga..
BUT !..
You know the 'Fool' from Tarot ...
well, nothing wiser ..
And with this self-compliment..
(gotta do it myself,..cause nobody else does it!) :o(
I shall terminate my monologue.
.......... and now I wonder what 'ordinary humanity' might be ?!..
well i'll tell you,.. words can get you in trouble !



Tim wrote:
I hear, that when people go around declaring themselves to be
Jesus, the local 'mental health professionals' are often called.
Better keep it to the list, Tim! :-)

Compassion dictates that I recommend strongly you keep this
'feeling of being Jesus' right here on NDS and nowhere else :-).
And you might want to have a talk with Judi, since she claimed
the role of The Living Jesus before you did (I think).

It could be an interesting fight! ;-) The two Jesuses socking it
out with each other...



First things first Tim.

There are many things about Christianity and the 'characters' of
Jesus, Mary, and Mary Magdelene that are secrets well kept. Some
by the church, some by the templars, some by the masons, and
others by a small group of theives called the Shelti Thera
(sometimes called the Illuminati before weishalp (greed,
control, power hungry fools) or whatever that yahoos name is) or
something like that... these were tradesmen, merchants,
travellers, vagabonds, gypsies, musicians players, etc... many,
many names for this group of people. (jesus was crucified with a

Essentially, they aquired (stole) ancient wisdoms right from the
chambers of the kings and pharoahs, wisemen, and philosophers
alike. Only the most secret and private of works were taken,
sometimes forged, but never left with an original to ensure that
any spells or 'Zen tricks' would be altered to lose their

These bands of people hid these great works but not before
memorizing the texts, as far as that goes as over time the story
changes, and traded the information with trusted peasants,
shaman, holymen and local medicine men, who then in turn told
the 'stories' only to those they trusted like strudents and

For some, the meaning was lost in the story, for others, that
spoke a secret language designed by years and years of survival
and covertly making a mockery of the 'throne'... but we shall
have plenty of time to discuss that...

...the fundemental difference then is in this:

Now, back to the lesson. What you have done is define a simple
0=1 formula or dynamic. What I would suggest to you is this...

Stop looking at the 0 and the 1. This is dual thought on it's
simplest form. Even if you adopt an absolute position of 0 or 1
without the acknoledgement or whatever or the other you miss the

The computer acts on a 0/1 input/output routine. What you seek
is this. Can you create a program that first creates a formula,
the simplier the better, that first calculates with 0 as the
principle then claculates with 1.

Cause/Effect. Cause/Effect.

But what of the change? Can you shift the computer to a 'define
only and print out only the difference' in the calculation. The
transition or the difference regarding each transition in the
formula the new input makes. That is chaos and that is truth.
There is no way of knowing and yet it is known... or not.

Shambala (or something like that) is the equation of the
difference that is infinite, balanced, mirrored, insides out and
outsides in, contained and contained... this is the nondual in
it's absolute form. That is all 'there'... pure, chaotic
potential... but it is from this chaos, that we develop an
identity, a cruth, a sword, a mind whatever these may mean and
from this point we seek what can not be found by 0s and 1s.
Simply, the answer to the question 'why?'

As for Judi... she is what she claims to be, the 'living' Jesus
and I am her brother. There are no parents in heaven.

Shaking off the snow
a bear and two opened eyes
spoke to the sky.



I say, I say.... YUM!!!!

Love, Mark (or someone like him)

(I am feeling a call to "sing" again,
and actually am singing this Friday at a little coffee
shop here in Ontario,
OR. Wish me luck; it's been a looooong time.) Here

living in the moment,
letting go and letting be.
following the scent
of the glitter of the things
you think you need.

The story isn't done.
You've just begun
to fly.

Oh, you're flying,
feel the air.
It almost isn't there.
But yet it keeps you
from falling.

And if you think
that you don't care,
if you feel your soul
laid bare,
well, nothing stops you
from calling...

from calling...
as you're calling yourself
(Shanti ~ Linda)

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