44.
'I am' is True, all else is Inference
Nisargadatta:
The perceiver of the world, is he prior to the world, or does he
come into being along with
the
world?
Questioner:
What a strange question! Why do you ask such questions?
Nisargadatta:
Unless you know the correct answer, you will not find peace.
Questioner:
When I wake up in the morning, the world is already there, waiting
for me. Surely the world
comes
into being first. I do, but much later, at the earliest at my
birth. The body mediates between
me
and the world. Without the body there would be neither me nor the
world.
Nisargadatta:
The body appears in your mind, your mind is the content of your
consciousness; you are the
motionless
witness of the river of consciousness which changes eternally
without changing you in
any
way. Your own changelessness is so obvious that you do not notice
it. Have a good look at
yourself
and all these misapprehensions and misconceptions will dissolve.
Just as all the little
watery
lives are in water and cannot be without water, so all the
universe is in you and cannot be
without
you.
Questioner:
We call it God.
Nisargadatta:
God is only an idea in your mind. The fact is you. The only thing
you know for sure is: 'here and
now
I am'. Remove, the 'here and now' the 'I am' remains,
unassailable. The word exists in memory,
memory
comes into consciousness; consciousness exists in awareness and
awareness is the
reflection
of the light on the waters of existence.
Questioner:
Still I do not see how can the world be in me when the opposite 'I
am in the world' is so obvious.
Nisargadatta:
Even to say 'I am the world, the world is me', is a sign of
ignorance. But when I keep in mind
and
confirm in life my identity with the world, a power arises in me
which destroys the ignorance,
burns
it up completely.
Questioner:
Is the witness of ignorance separate from ignorance? Is not to
say: 'I am ignorant' a part of
ignorance?
Nisargadatta:
Of course. All I can say truly is: 'I am', all else is inference.
But the inference has become a
habit.
Destroy all habits of thinking and seeing. The sense 'I am' is the
manifestation of a deeper
cause,
which you may call self, God, reality or by any other name. The 'I
am' is in the world; but it is
the
key which can open the door out of the world. The moon dancing on
the water is seen in the
water,
but it is caused by the moon in the sky and not by the water.
Questioner:
Still the main point seems to escape me. l can admit that the
world in which I live and move and
have
my being is of my own creation, a projection of myself, of my
imagination, on the unknown
world,
the world as it is, the world of 'absolute matter', whatever this
matter may be. The world of my
own
creation may be quite unlike the ultimate, the real world, just
like the cinema screen is quite
unlike
the pictures projected onto it. Nevertheless, this absolute world
exists, quite independent of
myself.
Nisargadatta:
Quite so, the world of Absolute Reality, onto which your mind has
projected a world of relative
unreality
is independent of yourself, for the very simple reason that it
is
yourself.
Questioner:
Is there no contradiction in terms? How can independence prove
identity?
Nisargadatta:
Examine the motion of change and you will see. What can change
while you do not change, can
be
said to be independent of you. But what is changeless must be one
with whatever else is
changeless.
For, duality implies interaction and interaction means change. In
other words, the
absolutely
material and the absolutely spiritual, the totally objective and
the totally subjective are
identical,
both in substance and essence.
Questioner:
Like in a tri-dimensional picture, the light forms its own screen.
Nisargadatta:
Any comparison will do. The main point to grasp is that you have
projected onto yourself a world
of
your own imagination, based on memories, on desires and fears, and
that you have imprisoned
yourself
in it. Break the spell and be free.
Questioner:
How does one break the spell?
Nisargadatta:
Assert your independence in thought and action. After all, all
hangs on your faith in yourself, on
the
conviction that what you see and hear, think and feel is real. Why
not question your faith? No
doubt,
this world is painted by you on the screen of consciousness and is
entirely your own private
world.
Only your sense 'I am', though in the world, is not of the world.
By no effort of logic or
imagination
can you change the 'I am' into 'I am not'. In the very denial of
your being you assert it.
Once
you realise that the world is your own projection, you are free of
it. You need not free yourself
of
a world that does not exist, except in your own imagination!
However is the picture, beautiful or
ugly,
you are painting it and you are not bound by it. realise that
there is nobody to force it on you,
that
it is due to the habit of taking the imaginary to be real. See the
Imaginary as imaginary and be
free
of fear.
Just
as the colours in this carpet are brought out by light but light
is not the colour, so is the world
caused
by you but you are not the world.
That
which creates and sustains the world, you may call it God or
providence, but ultimately you are
the
proof that God exists, not the other way round. For, before any
question about God can be put,
you
must be there to put it.
Questioner:
God is an experience in time, but the experiencer is timeless.
Nisargadatta:
Even the experiencer is secondary. Primary is the infinite expanse
of consciousness, the eternal
possibility,
the immeasurable potential of all that was, is, and will be. When
you look at anything, it
is
the ultimate you see, but you imagine that you see a cloud or a
tree.
Learn
to look without imagination, to listen without distortion: that is
all. Stop attributing names and
shapes
to the essentially nameless and formless, realise that every mode
of perception is
subjective,
that what is seen or heard, touched or smelt, felt or thought,
expected or imagined, is in
the
mind and not in reality, and you will experience peace and freedom
from fear.
Even
the sense of 'I am' is composed of the pure light and the sense of
being. The 'I' is there even
without
the 'am'. So is the pure light there whether you say 'I' or not.
Become aware of that pure
light
and you will never lose it. The beingness in being, the awareness
in consciousness, the
interest
in every experience -- that is not describable, yet perfectly
accessible, for there is nothing
else.
Questioner:
You talk of reality directly -- as the all-pervading,
ever-present, eternal, all-knowing, all-
energizing
first cause. There are other teachers, who refuse to discuss
reality at all. They say reality
is
beyond the mind while all discussions are within the realm of the
mind, which is the home of the
unreal.
Their approach is negative; they pinpoint the unreal and thus go
beyond it into the real.
Nisargadatta:
The difference lies in words only. After all, when l talk of the
real, I describe it as not-unreal,
space-less,
time-less, cause-less, beginning-less and end-less. It comes to
the same. As long as it
leads
to enlightenment, what does the wording matter? Does it matter
whether you pull the cart or
push
it, as long as it is kept rolling? You may feel attracted to
reality at one time and repelled from
the
false at another; these are only moods which alternate; both are
needed for perfect freedom.
You
may go one way or another -- but each time it will be the right
way at the moment; just go
whole-heartedly,
don't waste time on doubting or hesitating. Many kinds of food are
needed to make
the
child grow, but the act of eating is the same. Theoretically --
all approaches are good. In
practice,
and at a given moment, you proceed by one road only. Sooner or
later you are bound to
discover
that if you really want to find, you must dig at one place only --
within.
Neither
your body nor mind can give you what you seek -- the being and
knowing your self and the
great
peace that comes with it.
Questioner:
Surely there is something valid and valuable in every approach.
Nisargadatta:
In each case the value lies in bringing you to the need of seeking
within. Playing with various
approaches
may be due to resistance to going within, to the fear of having to
abandon the illusion of
being
something or somebody in particular. To find water you do not dig
small pits all over the
place,
but drill deep in one place only. Similarly, to find your self you
have to explore yourself. When
you
realise that you are the light of the world, you will also realise
that you are the love of it; that to
know
is to love and to love is to know.
Of
all the affections the love of oneself comes first. Your love of
the world is the reflection of your
love
of yourself, for your world is of your own creation. Light and
love are impersonal, but they are
reflected
in your mind as knowing and wishing oneself well. We are always
friendly towards
ourselves.
but not always wise. A Yogi is a man whose goodwill is allied to
wisdom.