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Kundalini Awakened Through Grace

Writings by and about

Rick Puravs

Guntis (Rick) E. Puravs

July 15, 1951 - April 22, 1999

Left: This photo was taken of Rick on 1/29/93. Rick would be 41. It is Joe's 4th
Birthday. His Stepdaughter, Hannah is also in the picture.

Middle: Rick holding his son, Joe, when he was probably less than a
year old. This would make Rick 37 years old. His stepdaughters, Hannah
and Sarah are in the picture, also. They are ages 12 and 21 respectively as
of May, '99. Rick's previous wife, Karen is also in the picture.

Right: This picture was taken October, 1998. Rick is 47 years old. We are visiting
his 88 year old mother, Anna Puravs. Cher along with pet Chelsea.

The name of the poster is kept anonymous:

Date: Fri, 23 Apr 1999 14:29:48 EDT

Many of you will recognize the name, Rick Puravs.

He was my closet friend and lover. Yesterday he called me at lunch just like
he had done for the last three years. He had been feeling badly for about
two weeks, complaining of various symptoms, including chest pain. He said it
was probably just K, and was doing meditation and cleansing. He would never
to anything that was suggested by me, being a very stubborn person. I told
him not to ignore this and go to the doctor. I scolded him, something I now
regret. Today there was no call. I got worried and called his house and his
ten year old son, Joseph, told me, "He is dead. He went back to work and
finished his work and then went to the health center, and while he was
filling out the forms he had a heart attack and died." For those of you who
knew him, you will remember him as a Buddhist, a very brilliant person, very
spiritual, very helpful. My heart is very heavy. He wanted to marry me so
much, and I was finally getting to the place where I thought I could marry
him. He wanted us to connect fully in this life so we could come together in
the next and for eternity. That is how much he loved me. We bought a
beautiful east Indian dress for the wedding (I should have married him Maybe
I could have saved his life.) All of his friends and family are telling me
that he loved me more than anything and anybody. They want me to come to
Michigan for the funeral, but I don't want to see him dead. He was beautiful
in his own way and in my eyes. I just didn't think marriage was necessary.
How I wish I had given that to him, said the words, heard the congratulations
of friends and family. He knows I love him. He has always known, probably
for centuries.

I keep talking to him, just in case he is here. I email him notes telling
him I love him. His aol screen name was SnowLion97. How many times have I
seen that name on this computer. I would bet it is in excess of a thousand
times. Now I won't ever see it again. I know it is not important, but
remember, I just learned of this at 12:45 pm EST. I am very fragile. I feel
very alone. Talk to me, Rick! Please just one more time before you go

From Dr. Harsh K. Luthar:

I was saddened to hear of the death of Rick Puravs from Cher (his
significant other) on the K-List. I have heard he leaves behind a young son
of 10 years. My heart goes out to his loved ones and his family. Rick had
been part of the K-List for a long time and was also a member of
HarshaSatsangha. Although most of us never met Rick or knew him personally,
his beautiful personality came through his e-mails. Perhaps even in
cyberspace, there can be a feeling of community. Rick was a wise,
compassionate, often funny, and a deeply caring person. I remember how
sympathetic he was to Dharma on the K-List about a year ago, when she faced
some difficult times. That was very characteristic of Rick. His nature was
that of encouraging others. He was always moved by the suffering of others.
Recently, just a few days ago, Rick had posted a website for helping Kosovo
refugees. Rick and I never corresponded privately but (about a year ago)
there were many public exchanges on Gurus, Kundalini, Pranayama,
Enlightenment, etc., on the K-List. In many of the conversations Jan, Janpa,
David, Kurt, and others we know were active participants and there was a lot
of depth as well as humor. I liked Rick very much. Probably, he had a good
feeling for me also as he had Joined HarshaSatsangha. If Rick had ever
written to me, I am sure I would have said, "Love you Brother." Rick gave
people deep love and acceptance without making a big point of it as it was
simply his nature to do so. Such people find love and acceptance where ever
they go. Here is what Rick wrote on the K-List about a year ago.

know all living beings as your lover
remember the kindness of all your lovers
develop the wish to repay the kindness of all your lovers
develop affectionate love
develop great compassion

the bodies of one's self and others are not two

Mudita (boundless delight in the attainment of others),

Love you Brother

Dear CherSerpent,

I would describe Kundalini as the active, creative, force of the Universe....the Divine Consciousness of the Universe. When the human body is created, she comes in through the top of the head, traveling down the spine and throughout the
body, in effect giving life to it. She comes to rest at the base of the spine in a subtle center of energy (called the first Chakra ... aka the Muladhara Chakra). There she becomes dormant and is envisioned as a female serpent coiled 3 1/2 times with its
tail in its mouth). After death she leaves the body.

Kundalini can be awakened by various means, and upon awakening she rises back up through the body, usually in stages, penetrating the various other chakras, cleansing the subtle channels. As she does this the person may experience what is called "kriyas".....which to an outside observer may look as if the person experiencing kriyas is having seizures, or going into various yoga positions almost spontaniously, among other things. This is part of the process of cleansing......and generally the kriyas become less frequent, and ultimately stop, as the process of cleansing procedes. The rising of Kundalini also results in increasingly higher states of consciousness.

When Kundalini first awakens, many people describe the experience as if there was a seperate consciousness within them......as the process goes on this duality would tend to diminish. It is said that once Kundalini is truly awakened that she cannot be stopped, and that she will guide you as to what you/it needs....as far as diet, information, experiences, etc.

OK.....now for some other sources.....Swami Muktananda.....Kundalini is the power of the Self, the power of Consciousness.....Kundalini is Shakti, supreme energy...the Mother of the universe. Shakti is the consort of Shiva. She is the active aspect of the formless, attributeless Absolute....Enlightened people of knowledge perceive Her in all the forms and objects in the universe, and seeing everything as one in That, they merge in That. She is the sound vibration of the Absolute, which manifested the universe.

Kundalini is the support of our lives; it is She who makes everything work in our bodies. She functions through the mind and senses and provides the motive power for all our activities. She is at the root of all the senses of perception and organs of action. It is she who brings the breath in and out and makes the heart beat. Kundalini is the witness of everything, the knower of everything that can be known. The awakening of the inner Kundalini is the true beginning of the spiritual journey. The Shiva Sutras state "She is the willpower of God, the ever-young maiden called Uma." She is called ever-young because She is always playing; Her play is the creation, sustenance, and dissolution of this world. Swami Muktananda describes kriyas as....a gross (physical) or subtle (mental, emotional) purificatory movement initiated by the awakened Kundalini. Kriyas purify the body and nervous system so as to allow a seeker to endure the energy of higher states of consciousness.

Another source....Ajit Mookerjee...The coiled Kundalini is the female energy existing in latent form, not only in every human being but in every atom of the universe. (She) is the vast potential of psychic energy, the body's most powerful thermal
current. The one (ie-Universal/Cosmic) Consciousness is polarized into static (Shiva) and dynamic (Shakti) aspects for the purpose of manifestation. Kundalini-yoga is the resolution of this duality into unity again.

Swami Chetanananda says....When you work to open yourself (Kundalini/the Breath of Life) begins to flow more easily through your system. As it flows more powerfully, it rearranges your whole internal structure, just as the tide rearranges the
structure of the beach. Then, the universal tide moves in you, and washes away everything that is extraneous.

I hope this is helpful.

Love You,

Wim wrote.......

The Truth
As long as there is belief there is no faith
As long as there is faith there is no certitude
As long as there is certitude, there is no reality
As long as there is reality, illusion appears as real
As long as there is illusion, truth is en-veiled

Rick wrote:

belief is faith
faith is certitude
certitude is reality
reality is illusion
illusion is truth
truth is belief

Gopi Krishna:

"......Solitude and nature are absolutely necessary for the proper
development of a human being.
It is an admixture of natural life, lived in solitude, amid beautiful
surroundings of nature and what we call an arboreal life, which is
absolutely necessary for the poise and harmony of the human mind.
Otherwise, it becomes too much distracted, and that distraction is fatal for its
evolution towards a higher dimension of consciousness.

Rick responded:

I would disagree that solitude and nature are absolutely necessary for proper
spiritual development. These conditions may be preferable for most people.
I moved from the Detroit area over 10 years ago to a relatively sparsely
populated area in northern Michigan to avoid the crowding, crime, stress, and
pure density of vibration. It is just a few blocks to walk into the woods
or the Lake Huron shoreline. There is a bit of a trade off in that
participation in a spiritual community on a regular basis, or frequent access to a guru is a bit
more difficult because of the travel distance involved. Nevertheless, for
myself the immediate access to nature seems more beneficial for spiritual practice
and growth. I would suspect that this would be the case for most people,
especially in the early stages of their practice. It probably would be the
preference even for those well established in their practice, but i don't
believe it to be absolutely necessary. I think there comes a point where the
friction of the stress and distractions one encounters provides fuel for spiritual
growth. At that point they may not even be perceived as stress and distractions.

.........boundless equanimity...........

Letter to Kundalini List dated August 19, 1997

I first got on this list back in May, thinking that reading this stuff
would be good preperation for receiving a Shaktipat Initiation in August. I
want to thank all of you for all your postings, as you have contributed greatly to giving me some
background with which to undergo this experience. In light of what has happened i will
probably be contributing to this list more frequently.

My spiritual efforts in the past 30 or so years have seen as many stops as
starts. I have been all over the map in the things i have looked into or
tried to practice. From reading the postings on this list i have had to consider if perhaps my
Kundalini was already awakened, as this could possibly explain some of the experiences i
have had. These experiences include instances of feeling other peoples
feelings....more than empathy however......more like the feelings would be like a hologram in
which i would view in an instant the entire life of a person on sort of deeper
level....at times it would be just a flash, sometimes from the person, sometimes from an object i was
looking at, or from being in their house. There have been a few times where
this has lasted for hours, the last time in February, when i was getting these impressions
from one person (usually i get this from women, as it was in this instance) after
another. I would tend to get overwhelmed and exhausted and then these impressions
would stop...or to escape the intensity i would go get some beer which would also
tend to put an end to it. The February episode was very sexual and i
enjoyed it, even considered the possibility of being in this state more frequently, thinking
that if i could somehow relax into it and flow with it that i would not become
exhausted and could continue in this state indefinitely. There have been other sorts of
experiences as well, some going back to when i was a child, others possibly drug
induced in the late 60's early 70's (i loved LSD, among other things).
I had had some contact with Kundalini Yoga in the early 70s....visiting an
ashram in Ann Arbor for a couple weeks, learning an exercise and meditating with a
group of the (mostly) residents of the ashram, some of whom were undergoing kriyas.
Also around 1970 i went to some kind of a public meeting to see an "Eastern
teacher" and we sat on the floor with our eyes shut while he walked around and
touched us on the forehead. I was not sure what the purpose of this was at the time,
it was only when i read the postings on this list that i remembered that and thought
that maybe he was trying to perform Shaktipat on us. I have no idea if this man was
empowered to perform Shaktipat, or if that was even what he was trying to
do....however i felt nothing from it at the time, or subsequently was i able to relate anything
to that experience. While i considered that i have had a few experiences that could
possibly be explained by a K awakening, i would have to say that 99.9+% of the time
i felt nothing that i could relate to Kundalini....and reading that once the K is
awakened that She continues to do Her work....i thought maybe that wasn't it, as She
certainly had seemed pretty dormant most of my life.

I would say that the main influence on my spiritual efforts up until
recently has been tamas, as in inertia. The best thing i could say about it was that i would
always come back to it, again and again. However when i drove down to the
Cleveland area from northern Michigan last Thursday, i was certainly not accomplished in
anything. I attended two public meditation sessions with Shri Anandi Ma on Friday and
Saturday evenings. The chanting seemed to have a strong effect on me, but i
struggled through the meditations as usual....with distracting thoughts,
aches and pains, the stuff i usually get. Cleveland was hot and humid, and there were
strong electrical storms (esp on Saturday) and downpours of rain. Sunday morning i
went to receive Shaktipat carrying fruit and roses. There were about 25 people
in our group. I was ready for it, but still a bit nervous. The ceremony was
elaborate and very beautiful and probably lasted a bit over 3 hours. What i felt seemed
subtle at first, but i have continued to feel it ever since. Mostly it is a feeling
of prana flowing in the brain. I drove about (200m) half way back home that Sunday, and got
a room at a motel in the western suburbs of Detroit....by then i had a headache
and was kind of out of it. The way people drove, for one thing, seemed to bother me
a lot more than before. It was all i could do to go through the check in procedure and
get to the room. Slept for an hour, but that didn't help. Decided to eat, looking up
and down the street at the usual array of Burger Kings, Arbys, Wendys, etc. and went
into a Bob Evans....well the fruit plate didn't seem to be what i needed, so there
went the vegitarian diet i was supposed to observe for 10 days. The headache went
away immediately and i felt much better, reading well into the night. Monday, in
Ann Arbor, i went to the Whole Foods grocery store and stocked up on stuff so i could
at least cut down on the amount of meat in my diet. Went to the Jewel Heart store
(Tibetan Buddhist) and the buzz in there was incredible....all the artwork and
stuff....i seemed to be just dripping Shakti....was looking for an altar, but couldn't find
one....right now i have 2 cassette cases (the Napa Valley type) back to back under a picture
of Vajrayogini which i'm using for an altar.....the rest of the drive home was
helped somewhat by the roads being quite empty once i got far enough up north.
Today i went back to work....and it was easier than i thought, at least at first.
It seems like, as with driving, if i have to focus on something (like work) hour after
hour that it is easy at first, but after a while it seems like the K wants to play or
something and starts getting restless, and i start drifting. Repeating a mantra like Ram
Ramaya Namaha, even once or twice, seems to lift up the top of my
head.....creating a space where the mantra seems to vibrate, and the prana rushes are intensified.
I am in awe that this really worked, and that i have Shri Anandi Ma as a
guru. I am very grateful to her and her husband Dileepji, and her guru Shri Dhyanyogi
Madhusudandasji (1878-1994)...yes those years are correct....whose books
i've been reading, also in preperation for the Shaktipat.
Some of what i wrote here is to show that a person does not have to be
particularly spiritualy accomplished to receive Shaktipat. I guess you have to be ready
for it, but the proof of that seems to be that you go and get it. They say it will work
on anybody. At this point i can just speak for myself. It worked on me.

Love and Light,

My Kundalini was awakened 6 days ago (August 17th) so i have not yet had
experience with this.....

May Goddess Bless and Guide You All,


Posted August 30, 1997 to the Kundalini List:

Angelique wrote....
" out of the unity of all that is, I created a self that chooses
experiences, and having chosen and seen them manifest, immerses in them
fully to discover what they are about, before returning to unity.
This we do on a lifetime by lifetime level, or we can choose to access
different experience of being, in one lifetime.. the I Am statement of
intent to create self."

This set the K flowing....linking into Tantric practices of generating
ourselves in a Deity body.......and the I Am statement (which i've run into in everything
from the Bible to Gurdjieff to various occult works) took on new meanings. As for
the worldwide K wave as the Second Coming.... back in the 80s (when i had done
sort of a re-exploration of Christianity) i came to believe that the Second
Coming of Christ was within us.....and that the "Body of Christ", the "True Church", would
be formed by a surge of enlightened people (not necessarily from Christian
traditions) all over the world.....and that this "True Church" would not be an organized
religion but the enlightened people themselves.

So consider this a note of appreciation and keep up the good work.


We have role models who are athletes, movie
stars, musicians, politicians, the rich and powerful....and i would not limit this
to the teen years either....i have run across plenty of adults who still have role
models of this sort. In many instances these people offer no particular qualities
to emulate besides their skill at a particular sport, good looks, money, or
whatever. This is as it should be, this is life. If a person can bat .300 in major
league baseball they should be allowed to do this and still have their private life off the
field. I believe Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame based on what he did on
the field, not what happened elsewhere. A person should not be forced into role
model status just because they in some way become a public figure. Then again
there is the marketing aspect of it all.....the Michael Jordan's and Tiger Woods
(what was it? 25-30 million to promote American Express)....for that kind of money i can
see giving up a few things to keep up my role model image <g>. Besides
marketing, all this reeks of social control......and by whom? the government? the
corporations? Certainly the media manipulates/is manipulated to pass on certain images,
certain standards.....and whom does this serve?
So we have boys who will never make it to the NBA wanting to "be like
Mike", and girls who will never look like Cindy Crawford suffering from low-self
esteem. Whom does this serve?

I think it serves someone......certainly the rich keep their wealth,
the powerful keep their power.....at the expense of others. What i wonder is what is behind the
outward face of it all. Is there something that goes back centuries, even milleniums,
still trying to call the tune? People can say and do what they want as long as they aren't
too visible, but if a lot of people start listening to them, seems they get crushed.
Doesn't serve you or me, or most likely the people we know does it?

A spiritual war between good and evil? Some form of Gnosticism?
Zoroastrianism? Do these concepts have validity? Or are they just an illusion in the
Unity of All and None?

Yes.....the question of what we can do? Start with ourselves and
increase our vibration to the point where we know we are of service and
not just whistling in the wind. Then take action.....by then we should know what we have to do.
Take on the way of life of a Bodhisattva. Perhaps then the path will come to us.


Posted September 5, 1997 to the Kundalini List:

Kurt Keutzer wrote...
"Personally I would prefer that EVERY post on this listserver be
strongly related to kundalini. I think that there are many good outlets for
discussing Buddhism, Candida and other topics that seem to me to be
peripheral to kundalini. Of course the role of kundalini (known as
Candali) in Buddhism or the effect of kundalini on curing/aggravating Candida is
an exception. On the other hand I see posts from others who want to ensure
that the group stay broad so I would say that this is just something
for members to decide - any comments from others on this?"

Rick wrote:

My own preference is that the list stays broad. When we received
Shaktipat from/through Shri Anandi Ma we were told that the awakened
Kundalini would intensify whatever religious practice we had, and speed
our progress in that practice. If we had no practice, the awakened K
would likely lead us to one in the future. As the K advances, a
religious practice provides a framework and a discipline both to
understand the experience and to guide it in useful, constructive, and
healthy directions. Understanding the experience also helps one accept the
experience, and not to try to suppress it which could lead to various problems.
Notice that i am talking about religious *practice* and religious *experience* here.
Religion as something to do. I see the discussion of such practices and
experiences as very relavent to this list and welcome the discussion of forms of Buddhism,
Hinduism, Christianity, Wicca, whatever in such a context. What i would not want
to see is proselytizing (but i have not really seen that much on this list).

People writing on these topics would be coming from their own
experience and their own understanding. If somebody feels that the information being
presented is not accurate or not authentic in some way, they should be encouraged to
provide a correction, or their interpretation, as the case may be. This sort of
discussion, if done in the spirit of mutual education instead of individual
criticization, can be very valuable to the list.

As for the discussions of candida, CFS, and fibromyalgia.....i have
noticed what would be a remarkable cluster of these ailments on this
list if they were not (at least in some cases) K related. A friend of mine (Cher, who is on this list)
has had these ailments for a number of years, and prior to ever joining this list i
had come to suspect that these ailments, in her case, were somehow
related to the first chakra (i will say that i was influenced in coming to this belief by listening
to some tapes by Caroline Myss). Since reading the posts on this list, i now believe
that these ailments can be related to a suppressed/misunderstood K
awakening. Here again i refer to the above point i was trying to make, of the importance of
having some kind of religious practice to help understand, accept, and guide the K
awakening. Another thought here......we have so many gifted people on this list in many
different walks of life....wouldn't it be wonderful if some of these discussions we
have had on the list worked in inspiring somebody with coming up with some solutions for
some of these ailments.....not only helping those on the list but sending healing
ripples (waves!) out into the world.

Love & Light,

Posted September 14, 1997:

I read the article at the website

In many ways this is similar to other materials of a channeled nature which
i have read in the past....the works of Mark and Elizabeth Clare Prophet come to mind.
I do not accept or reject information of this nature. I have read channeled
materials in the past with a great deal of interest, as if looking for something which i would
recognize upon seeing, and i continue to do so. Up to now i have not found whatever it is
i am looking for (something that really rings of truth) in this sort of material. While
many of the ideas expressed are commendable, i have a problem figuring out how to apply
it to my life in practical way.For example....just how do i do this.....

" Create a life without a need for defense or violence,
without a need for political polarity, without the need for welfare
programs, and without the need for treatment of disease. Create your lives as a world
of peace, joy, security, and equality."

For myself, at this time, i feel more comfortable working along the lines
of traditions that are well established such as Yoga and certain schools of Buddhism,
where i am pointed in a direction where i can experience for myself some progress
which can take me in the direction of such ideals. Still there is a part of me that
seems to long for a new world religion....one that would unite us all and serve as a
vehicle for spiritual progress....so i continue to read any new stuff that
appears...still searching.

In the information from the channeled entity Metatron there is reference to
7 Cities of Light established in North America. There is reference to one near Detroit,
which is an area not too far from me where i have previously lived. I'd be
interested in the exact location of this City of Light....as it cannot be both slightly North
and West of Detroit and on the border of the US and Canada (as stated in the post at
the website)....but assuming it is there somewhere....if i went there would
i feel anything different? If i meditated there, would my meditation take on a different
quality from meditating in my room? If so, i would be interested in checking it out. I
would also like to know exactly where in Missouri the gates to the Garden of Eden have
been relocated, and where in southern Oklahoma Avalon has been moved to. If in
visiting these sites some sort of subtle difference could be detected, it would lend
some credibility to claims of this nature.

When Metatron refers to the ships Athena and New Jerusalem.....is he
talking about spaceships or something highly symbolic? Hope we're not moving towards
Heaven's Gate here. Anybody know anything more about this?

Just trying to keep an open mind,


Kundalini awakened through grace. Do a websearch or check the yoga magazines
for Shaktipat. Have a practice to give your subsequent experiences structure.
You will need it. You have read all the posts (?).....so search your heart if
you really want to dothis. It will not be an academic experience. We know
nothing about you, so we can not judge if you are ready or not. But if you
are asking, and if you follow through, then it may be time for you.
People have worked all their lives for this, perhaps for many lives. To have
your K awakened by grace is a profound gift. Your subsequent efforts will be much
more rewarding. You will need to make those efforts to be worthy of the gift you
have received. You may not be able to walk away from this gift once you have
received it.

This gift is worth more than all the dollars you could hope to earn in your
lifetime. Only by making spiritual progress in order to help others can this
gift be repaid. I decided to receive Shaktipat back in April, and found this list in May.
Read the postings for 3 months before i went and had my kundalini awakened.
Never really had any serious doubts.....none that could stand up to the
alternative anyway, that of not having the kundalini awakened and things
going on as they were. Growing up with certain ideals and aspirations....and
having made some progress in those directions....but 25 years gone by and
being nowhere near the goal. Hmmm....chalk
it up to mid-life crisis i guess....though if somebody would have dangled
Shaktipat in front of me 25 years ago i would have went for it then. Some on this list
have asked why would anybody want this? And these are people who have a lot
more experience with it than i do. It is frustrating to have glimpses of the
truth, and yet for it to be so hard to incorperate it into my life. To feel disconected, and to
lack spontaneity most of the time....yet to have the clearness come and go.
It is painful to watch people i care about suffer and to only be able to help them in
limited ways, if at all.

The K has been fairly subtle with me....changing my diet, making me very
aware of everything i eat, cutting my alcohol consumption by about 80%, and i'm losing
weight now (which is good).....bringing deeper qualities to my meditation and
perceptions....and by timing my breath with mantra repetition, my mood and
consciousness can be changed within 3 repetitions, or so, into a state of
mild glowing bliss....dreams are frequently k related.
Last Friday (9-26), forty days after the K awakening, my wife moved out. As i
had my son with me until i took him to school this morning, the weekend was ok. I
will have him about half the time, and he seemed to get over the worst of it on Friday.
While it will be hard on him (Joe is 8), i think it is better than him growing up
considering what his mother and i had as a "loving relationship" and a model for married

My two step-daughters (19 and 11) are with their mother, and it is hard on
Hannah as well, as i have raised her since she was 1 1/2. When i got home from work
today the house was empty. I have not been alone in this house for more than 1/2 a
day or so in the 9 years we have lived here. Lots of waves of emotion hitting me all
evening. Looking into the silence, the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness. I am writing
this from the darkest point since the K awakening. Yet i know i will not linger too
long here
The process of housecleaning that has been ongoing since Shaktipat continues,
as it must. And when the K is through cleaning house, perhaps it will be time to
learn healing, take the way of the Bodhisattva. Tonight tears often fill my eyes,
but the silence is broken by the music of a CD that came in the mail just
today.....recorded in 1945....Bidu Sayao singing....Villa-Lobos "Bachiana Brasilerira
no.5".....it is so beautiful.


Posted November 29, 1997 to the Kundalini List:

I think the discussion of time and sex is somewhat missing the point. Time is
something that is at your disposal, use it as you wish. What is important here
is intimacy and the shared experience that becomes possible when one works with ones sexual
partner in this sort of way. Ongoing feedback is key,
and the sharing has the potential to become much deeper. The boundaries
between yourself and your partner blur and disolve.
As i read this book...."The Multi-Orgasmic Man" by Mantak Chia...it seems very much directed at
enhancing the sexual pleasure of men. The benefits to
the female partner are also quite obvious, and i believe Mantak Chia has
written a book on the female sexual response also (noticed it while browsing
down the list of his books at www.amazon.com).
What these methods work towards is to make ejacualtion a choice, and to be
much more in touch and aware of the responses of ones own body, and by
working with a partner of theirs as well. It also brings awareness of the difference between
ejaculation and the male orgasm. This is an important
distinction, and one that i was not really aware of before working with these
methods. Oh sure, there were all those little waves before the big bang, and
there was already the tendency to ride in those little waves to prolong the act,
but this was more related to satisfying my partner rather than just to enjoy the
little waves themselves. Well, turns out those little waves can get real big, as
big as the big bang itself, bigger than some big bangs, and there are a lot of
these waves, and they can go on and on and on.
So time isn't really what matters here, much more the cooperation to make
this sort of thing possible, it approaches bliss itself. Sure three hours is a
possibility, or you can go 20 minutes, and be ready for more a little later.
Not ejaculating circulates much of that energy back into the body, and this has physical and
spiritual benefits as well, besides providing further enhanced stimulation. There are times
that i may want to ejaculate, and my
partner may also want this input from me. At other times the surges may just
send one over the top (esp if one is new at this), which is ok too. It is love and
play after all. Enhanced is kind of the keyword here. Enhanced pleasure, feelings, interaction,
bonding, control, awareness, everything is enhanced.

Posted December 7, 1997 to the Kundalini List:

First let me say that i enjoy reading the opinions of the wide diversity of beliefs that are
represented on this list. I look with humour upon postings
that imply that this person, or that person, is a "virus" sent to infect this list.
I think, for the most part, those K-awakened ones here have developed,
or are developing, powers of discrimination so as to be able to seperate
the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. Dealing with a wide diversity of
opinions can only help with the development of this process.

DonBBenson wrote.......
"What do you think - those of you who believe in evolution, reincarnation,
karma, and astrology - about Empress Theodora? Must she work on herself for
many lifetimes to lift herself above the primordial slime, violent impulses,
and sexual cravings of her evolutionary origins? Is the crucifixion, death,
burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ not sufficient to set her free from
death and torment, by the love of God through faith?
The much hated apostle Paul wrote to the Christians in Corinth (that port city
filled with goddesses and temple prostitutes): <<Do you not know that the
unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither
fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor catamites, nor sodomites, nor
theives, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will
inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed,
but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus
and by the Spirit of our God."

.......hmmm.......well, i think forgiveness could come quite easy for her role as
a prostitute.....but if she felt the need to kill 500 people to attempt to hide the
fact, then it does not appear to me that she felt that she had been set free from her past by
the blood of Jesus Christ.......and yes, i think she'll have to
slog many a mile through lots of lifetimes to work that off......there are ways,
from what i understand, to neutralize such karma.....though the negativity of
her actions would have their own volition.....and it would probably be a few
millenia before she landed in fortunate enough circumstances for this to be
brought about......but who are we to judge, or even speculate, on the path of
Empress Theodora? Whatever she did, in the fullness (or emptiness) of the
universe, play the creator or the destroyer, in this dance it will be all worked
out (though probably not without a lot of "discomfort" for Theodora)....so is this just another
way of "being set free from death and torment, by the love of

A little background here......i was raised a Lutheran, in an ethnic Latvian church in Saginaw,
Michigan....the services were in Latvian, which i understand well. Did not much care for it,
but agreed to keep going until i
was confirmed. The day of my confirmation was the last time i have ever been in that
church......which was about a month before my 16th birthday.
I was always very interested in spiritual stuff, but never found it in that church.
I then went through a wide variety of traditions.......eastern, occult, pagan, etc
.....as i continued to search for what i could recognize as the truth.....eventually, and i
think it was the need for fellowship, more than anything else, i was led back into the
Christian traditions......in the early 1980's i went through many churches and made a thorough
study of the Bible.....i was baptised for a 2nd time in a Baptist church, but left because of
the pro-Reagan, anti-abortion politics there......i studied with the Mormons, but could not
ignore my conclusion that the Book of Mormon was not what i
would consider an inspired sacred scripture, so i left there.....i went the
charismatic route, Assembly of God, and a large independent church.....then
by my study of the Bible i ended up in the Church of God-Seventh Day, which
from a fundamentalist textual point of view, seemed to me to be the most
correct. I didn't really find what i was looking for, though certainly there were
many moving experiences along the way.....it was actual experience of the
truth that i wanted. I would also come up with problems with the fundamentalist approach as a
whole, their approach was very selective, and
there was much they could not address. Speaking of "viruses" as a metaphor, my Bible studies
led me increasingly to the belief that Paul was a
"virus" sent to corrupt the true teachings of Jesus, and to distort the growth of
the church, so that the church itself, under the rule of the Popes, became the
Beast, so to speak. While i believe many sections of the Bible are divinely inspired, i have a
problem with the work as a whole, as it is constitued today.
I also believe that the true meaning of much of it is not easily accesible without a knowledge
of the original languages it was written in, and some
knowledge of the Kabbalah. As i was looking more for personal experience
of the divine, i was out of there, this time for good. I have found that Buddhism
and Yoga (Hinduism/Vedic), esp Tibetan and Tantra, with its Shamanistic
residues, offer me what i need, and am now working in those areas.

Light and Love,

Posted December 26, 1997 to the Kundalini List:

"After meeting, he told me I was too old, too
ugly, too dried up, and I did not turn him on physically. When he saw
the hurt in my eyes, he backpedaled and blamed it on his sexuality being
dead, said he had been celibate for almost 20 years. In the next breath
he praised the youth, beauty and vitality of a mutual friend, and said
about her..." I would **** her brains out..." "

This man is incredibly rude. You, as an awakened person should connect with
someone who is in tune to the Goddess within you. Easier said than done i
suppose. So what are each of you getting out of this relationship if the two of
you are still hanging around together? The triple Goddess manifests as
maiden, mother, and crone and we are to love her in all her manifestations.
Someone who can connect with your inner being would want to share their
sexuality with you, and delight in pleasing you as a doorway to knowing you
and bonding with you.



memories flash before me
being with you
so strong they are here now
you are
so i feel a little crazy
ripped to and fro
then a profound sadness comes
and goes
then desire
and more memories
surges through my body
love and reaching
then tears again
i hear your voice
the things you say
i feel you there
then i feel your absence
all these things
one at a time
within the space of a minute
standing back and looking
at the storm

Rick Puravs, 1998

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