Click here to go to the next issue
Highlights Home Page | Receive the Nondual Highlights each day
#1189 - Friday, September 6, 2002 -
Editor: Gloria Lee
WELCOME ZACHARY! First photo, with
on his birth day, Sept 4.
9/5/02 "The Birth -- Part 2"
September 4, 2002
~2:00am Ananda, in her sleep, notices I am not beside her and wakes
up her dad with her whimpers. When they find me pacing around
the living room with my hands on my hips and are able to hear my
breathing, Jim knows 'the show is on.' I whisper to him that we are
to call our midwife back when the water breaks or when the
contractions are three to four minutes apart. After Ananda is
peacefully asleep again Jim and I take a short stroll outside,
experience a contraction in each other's arms, and then stand
quietly right under a shooting star which makes us simultaneously
suck in our breath. We decide to go back to bed and try to doze
between the waves. When they come, he pushes on my lower
back while I breathe and moan into the pillow. At a certain point it
is clear to me that the intensity coursing through is way too big to
express itself in a bed next to a sleeping child. I suddenly find
myself rising, grabbing a flannel shirt from Jim's side of the closet
and heading back outside to the stars.
~4:00am Jim opens another window from inside the house (he is
"boiling water," etc.) so that he can time my contractions. He
knows when I am having them because I have been wandering
around out there howling clear to the sky at such a volume that all
the dogs on the neighboring acreage are joining in with me!*
~4:15am I am walking a short distance up our driveway and Jim joins
me with the portable phone in hand. He is talking to our midwife
and telling her that the waves are about three and a half minutes
apart. One is happening right then, which she can hear (*giggle*),
and the water breaks with a gush. Jim tells me that she and our
doula are on their way and then he shines a flashlight on a big
splash on the gravel. He goes back inside to get me a towel.
~around 4:45am Jim is in the house getting the bath ready. He hears
me yell, "Jim! Jim! Come catch your baby!" Kneeling beside the
tub he has the feeling that we just may be doing this without any
help. He hustles outside.
~just before 5:00am The midwife and doula pull up, their headlights
capturing me and Jim outside on the grass. I am on all fours and my
body is heaving and pushing all by itself. They come running
towards us at full speed saying, "You can't have your baby out
here, it's too cold!" I say, "I can't walk! There's a head down there!"
~5:00am Somehow they manage to get me inside and Baby Zachary
comes tumbling out crying and pink. He and his mom are in perfect
shape with no complications whatsoever. Ananda emerges from the
bedroom, groggy and rubbing her eyes. When she realizes the
incredible scene before her, she is elated. She exclaims, "I have a
baby brother now! This isn't a toy present, this is a human present!"
A human present, I think to myself. Yes. And a whole lot of
something else, which does not seem human at all.
*Jim told me today that he was half-expecting the cops to show up at
It would be wonderful if everyone, everywhere, could slip so easily
into the kingdom of heaven, and just as easily stay there forever. But
alas! the facts of human nature forbid it. People require teaching,
training, purifying, disciplining, and preparing, before they can do so.
And the course needed is a lifetime's, the work needed much and
varied. That is why the Long Path is needed.
Penetrating so many secrets, we cease to believe in the unknowable.
But there it sits, nevertheless, calmly licking its chops.
~ H.L. Mencken
"Even the most exalted states and the most exceptional spiritual
accomplishments are unimportant if we cannot be happy in the most
basic and ordinary ways, if we cannot touch one another and the life
we are given with our hearts."
"As we heal through meditation, our hearts break open to feel fully.
Powerful feelings deep unspoken parts of ourselves arise, and our task in
meditation is first to let them move through us, then to recognize them and
allow them to sing their songs. A poem by Wendell Berry illustrates this
I go among the trees and sit still.
All my stirring becomes quiet
Around me like circles on water.
My tasks lie in their places
Where I left them, asleep like cattle...
Then what I am afraid of comes.
I live for awhile in its sight.
What I fear in it leaves it,
And the fear of it leaves me.
It sings, and I hear its song.
From the book, "A Path with Heart,"
published by Bantam Books.
From: 'The Inner Voice of Love' by Henri J. M. Nouwen
Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of
the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply
reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that
should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes
from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plough
that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into
a strong plant Every time you experience the pain of rejection,
absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become
bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your
pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able
to give life to new seeds.
The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because
of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and
deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you
love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. They will become
part of yourself and thus gradually build a community within you.
Those you have deeply loved become part of you. The longer you live,
there will always be more people to be loved by you and to become
part of your inner community~ The wider your inner community becomes,
the more easily you will recognise your own brothers and sisters in the
strangers around you. Those who are alive within you will recognise those
who are alive around you. The wider the community of your heart, the
wider the community around you. Thus the pain of rejection, absence,
and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of
your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the
abundance of the fruit it will bear.
Allspirit Website: http://www.allspirit.co.uk
Ramana Maharshi list
My mother's side of the family were German Jews, by the way, who
were not fortunate enough to be able to move to Jerusalem.
dear b ,
your letter :
printed and offered to God
at the Kotel ( Western Wall ) ,
today 06/09/2002,11:27 am, Jerusalem time ,
for your mother's side family .
Re: The Matrix per...
Hey Jerry: Maybe you're asleep -- on the West coast I presume! I
think it's a new moon tonight. I can honestly state that my
pituitary gland is sending forth a fairly strong magnetic bliss and
my torso is warm from the energy. My third eye seems to be
permanently open to a minor degree since I completed an intensive
four month training just about two years ago now. It was only
because my teacher kept sending energy to me. He continues to send
energy all over the world and the universe. But let me clear, I'm
still very much a beginner in terms of practice.
Nonduality? Probably from a past life I would think but of course it
seems anything outside the One is debatable....rebirth/reincarnation,
consciousness, etc. My favorite practice books are: Upanishads
(Isherwood), Tao Te Ching (Blakney), Cultivating the Energy of Life
(trans. Wong), "How to know God" Pantanjali Sutra (Isherwood) and
finally "In the Dark Places of Wisdom" (Peter Kingsley, 1999).
My teacher, Master Chunyi Lin, will be doing cancer research at the
Mayo Clinic soon. Using qigong to test the effects on the immune
system. I wonder how many subscribers live in Minnesota?
Thanks again for the comments thus far. I will say that I'm pleased
by the variety of reactions. Also I've already sent earlier versions
of my research to Erik Davis of Techgnosis. I don't think he
subscribes to former MIT History Professor David F. Noble's book "The
Religion of Technology." Noble is currently Professor at York
University in Toronto and he is often a guest Professor in the U.S.
Essentially as far as "conspiracism" dismissals -- I'm simply
reporting straight from the think tanks themselves. If anyone does a
google search under my name they'll find an earlier posting that
gives direct quotes from these books, testifying not only to
their "mad scientist" plans for the Matrix, but also their support by
very powerful policy institutions (UN, CIA, Princeton's Institute for
Advanced Studies, Theosophists). Again I want to emphasize that they
do use the term "The Matrix" as the name for this plan published in
1975 and they describe it to be exactly as was portrayed in the movie!
I, too, wanted to dismiss these plans as simply some wacky professors
but then I discovered that their main source was Dr. Puharich. Dr.
Reiser states that he and Puharich constantly corresponded throughout
the writing of the book "Cosmic Humanism and World Unity" and that
Reiser's plan for the Matrix is closest to Dr. Puharich's plan. I
discovered this connection a couple months ago. Because Puharich has
been well-documented to have been a CIA funded, high level mind
control scientist who created essentially a new policy movement, I
felt obligated to get the word out on this information. As far as
that documentation I can only recommend the Fortean researchers Clive
Prince and Lynn Picknett's book "The Stargate Conspiracy." Their
book is very well balanced and why so? Charles Fort was maybe the
best, most well-known nondualist philosopher in U.S. history!! Is he
on this site? He should be!! Read his nondual classic "The Book of
the Damned." The other source on Puharich is Dr. Jacques Vallee
book, "Messengers of Deception: UFO Contactees and Cults" (1974).
Vallee is an astrophysicist and computer scientist who designed an
early version of the internet. He is the most respected UFOlogist
and has since retired from the field because of the high levels of
government disinformation and the level to which people have been
duped by that disinformation. His last finding was a document
clearly stating there was a high level cover-up of UFO government
Also I still haven't contacted Vallee, Prince and Picknett! I did
mail information to Picknett but she lives in London and I have got
no response yet.
Frankly I don't expect people to believe my submission "The Actual
Plan for the Matrix." But I felt obligated to send the information
out and I appreciate your comments. In my history of activism this
happens to me all the time. Just recently one of my bosses
said "Yeah we should do what Drew had said." Unfortunately what I
said had been stated three years ago and it was too late now! At
that time noone took me seriously so what did I do? I just continued
on in my research (and my meditation).
Now I honestly believe that people should live as simply as possibly,
while at the same time pursuing theory and practice of nondualism.
Also my message is based on the foundation of the self-luminous
delight of nondualism.
Good night, drew
Is the Direct Approach "dangersous"?
I seem to have ruffled a few feathers over on the Advaitin list when I
posted the quote from Jean Klein which appears on the home page of
this list. Basically, the objections seem to be: the direct path is not for
everyone; it's not as simple as just hearing "I Am the Truth"; one
must do a lot of practice and study beforehand in order to be
"qualified" to do self-inquiry; the distinction between direct and
gradual paths is illusory; there is nothing new here. One fellow even
implied that Jean was ripping off the famous saying "Tat Twam Asi"
when he said "You are the Truth"! (Maybe he didn't like the idea of a
non-Indian presuming to teach Advaita?)
Certainly the idea that there is "nothing to achieve" can be easily
misunderstood. Intellectual "realization" is not where it's at. Here is a
post I just wrote to one of the guys who said that the direct path is
I think it is far more dangerous to undertake a practice with the idea
of achieving something, acquiring something. How could this do
anything but strengthen the ego? Again, I am not saying not to
practice. I have my own practices, and I assume that most people do.
But if I am doing my practice with the motive to attain something, it
will be useless. Do you see what I am talking about? What could
come from a practice undertaken with a motive, a goal, a desire? I am
not talking about *suppression* of desires here. I am talking about
allowing the truth of who we are to penetrate our practice. Then our
practice becomes a surrender to What IS, not a willful attempt to
break into Heaven.
So I will continue to advocate (not teach, for I am not a teacher) the
direct path, which is, in the words of Jean Klein: "The 'path,' which
strictly speaking is not a path from somewhere to somewhere, is only
to welcome, to be open to the truth, the I am. When you have once
glimpsed your real nature it solicits you. There is therefore nothing to
do, only be attuned to it as often as invited."
How could it be "dangerous" to be open to the truth, the I am? The
danger is in NOT being open to the truth, in saying "I am a miserable
seeker," or "I am not qualified, I must study books for 10 years,
chant, meditate, and then maybe after all those years of sadhana I will
attempt to look at the truth of who I am, since I am obviously unfit to
do so now." I am saying, go ahead, chant, study, but if you do it with
the motive to Become rather than in the spirit of Being, where will it
Thank you for sharing your experience with JK (I assume you mean
J. Krishnamurti). When people hear words like "there is nothing to
do," they think that it means one must give up all practices. To me,
that is just the seeker putting on a different uniform. It is not the
practices which must be given up, it is the notion of the "practicer."
Who is practicing? The very asking of the question reveals that there
is no practicer, only practice.
Thank you for allowing me to clarify my views.
Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.
top of page