stumble drunkenly from door to door
Pounding on windows
And yelling - there is too much love!
It can't all be just for me!
Come and share!
There is plenty!
visit these Michael Read web pages:
This is a
Dropping Belief and Living with What Is
The Gateway To...
A Wink and a Nod
The Truth About the Brain/Mind Connection
- interesting word.
A dictionary definition is 3. a revival of interest or
Perhaps it is the dropping of one's preoccupation with
Why? That is the question more than any other. Why - has
been the motivation for me to seek. I remember in school
hearing scientific explanations for many things. But, no
teacher could answer the question of why.
Take the simple things. The color of the sky is blue.
Why? Because the air molecules absorb all light spectra
except blue. So, blue is reflected back and we see it.
But, why blue? Why does this happen this way? heeheehee
Just because it does? Basically - yes.
The scientific explanation covers only the apparent
phenomena. That is all science can do. We can discover so
much with science. There is a point where science fails
to explain anything.
And that is again - why? No, not why does science only go
Fundamentally - why does anything exist at all?!
Just because it does - that is acceptance.
The first time I got an answer to my little question was
at the age of fifteen. The anwer was music. I did not
hear this music with my ears. No, I heard it with my
entire body! And I knew then that I was being played - by
the universe. And it felt good.
I knew from an early age that I was different than most
folk I knew. It wasn't the fact that we are all unique -
it was something more than that. I could see that we were
all reactive. We did one thing while saying another. No
one had any control and folk believed som many different
In this regard I was no different - the difference was
that I could see it happening.
I could see that I was more open than most folk. That was
and still is the major difference. It doesn't make me
better - not at all. No one is better than anyone else.
I remember clearly so many things from my childhood,
youth, and young adulthood. Back in the sixth grade
(social studies class) (early sixties) Mr. H. our
socialology teacher was telling us about propaganda. Mr.
H. made it out that propaganda was a pack of lies
being passed off as the truth. He told us of how Russia
used propaganda to teach the Russian children whatever
lies would keep them in line. He went on about this for
nearly five minutes - maybe more.
Well, something clicked inside my pointed little head and
I put my hand in the air.
"Mr. H.", I asked, "since we are all just
kids here and have no experience of the world, how do we
know that what you are telling us is true?"
He didn't like that question at all! But, I could see
that some of the
other kids were nodding their heads in agreement.
This is the approach I took to awakening. So many words
have been written and spoken about awakening. A lot of
them tend to contradict each other or at best only
describe a small viewpoint - and a seeker can easily
become befuddled and confused.
A person has to find out for himself/herself. And it is
Now, I am awake. And the key for my awakening was the
gift of being open and intuitive.
Somewhere along the line (of my life) intuition demanded
that I not
become as the saying goes - set in my ways. I could see
that adults who were 'set' had a hard if not impossible
time of learning anything new. Not only that, they could
become violent over the most absurd things! I still
remember two 'grown-ups' nearly coming to blows over
which make of car was better - Chevy or Ford! Sure it
sounds ridiculous now, but then it was a real eye-opener
Today I see that people are more interested in protecting
their belief systems that in taking good care of one
another. Religion, politics, economics, and so on are all
ways of doing and being and trying to make some sense of
of this vast universe that will go on whether there are
human beings or not.
For the life of me I can't see any reason to murder each
Murder, neglect, abuse - all are rampant on this planet.
And what can be done about it? Is it evolution in action?
Will the meek truly inherit this good good earth? Does
that mean that a lot of humanity (aggressive people) must
die and leave the meek gentle ones to eke out a living as
best they can?
Or, will the meek rise up and refuse to murder? Will they
gentleness in no uncertain terms thus shaming those with
violent tendancies into re-evaluating their actions?
Who can tell?
I know that this human species is special. We have
unlimited possiblities, talents and gifts. Until we learn
to open up we will do - what? - what we have done all
through our brief brief history. We will murder and hate
and oppress and neglect and destroy.
All because we haven't learned to open up and just live!
During the process of awakening I was shown that there is
no 'ultimate purpose' to life. There is no God who is
weighing the relative goodness of souls so some can be
burned in eternal fire and some can be rewarded with
eternal bliss. That is a childish fantasy.
There is pain and there is pleasure. No doubt about that!
Either one could be described as a form of bondage - so
We are all slaves to life - no exceptions. Life is to be
lived and that is the meaning and purpose of life.
So what to do - what to do?
Do anything - do nothing!
Wake up! Take an interest in life! Be open!
Of course these are only suggestions - I cannot force
anyone to 'wake-up'.
What I can do is to be open - cherish life - let people
work it out for themselves.
Tickle their funny-bone from time to time - it helps!
Sometimes grab folk by the elbows and lead them away from
the fights they are trying to start - and whisper loving
words in their ears.
I know this - without a doubt - without a reservation -
without hesitation - it is good to be alive! Even when it
I stumble drunkenly from door to door
Pounding on windows
And yelling - there is too much love!
It can't all be just for me!
Come and share!
There is plenty!
pal. There was only so much infinite energy left when I
got to enlighenment. They used all they had remaining on
None was left for you. Again, my apologies. Had I known
that I was to be the last unless I let you go first; I
wouldn't change a thing!
If you only had any idea what it is like to live this
Imagine the most open, free and joyful moment of your
life. Now imagine that is how you experience life from
moment to moment.
...even when it hurts like a bucketfull of
Ah, how sweet it is!
But, you'll never know, now, will you?
guess you'll have to fake it 'til the energy supply
...in about a thousand googles of infinity ;-)
americans are cowboys! no other country in the world was
explored and settled quite like ours. and we were watched
by the whole world as we grew.
my Father was a genuine american cowboy. the most
handsome man you ever saw. he made the marlboro man look
like a sissy! but he was a gentle man. he had a sweet and
tender side to him. and was he ever tough! it was not a
good idea to get into a fight with him. he could hit so
hard that adversaries were knocked 20 feet away.
he was a product of his times. born in the late 1920's.
the west largely tamed though life was still demanding.
no electricity in most
places, no tv, and you had to work hard. wages were
around 10 to 20 cents an hour.
i never knew all that much about my family. and not much
more about my Dad. my parents divorced while we kids were
young 6, 5, and 3. i mostly had a picture of my Dad. and
i had a love hate thing too. hate for the lack of
financial support. and i loved him when i was with him.
even though he liked my brother better - i loved him.
he died young, age 44. cancer and a rough life.
i spent time with him before he died, but wasn't there
when he died.
before he died he said something that surprised and
connected me with him in a deep way. we were talking,
Dad, a couple of his cowboy friends, and me, about war
and vietnam. it was an interesting setting.
Dad's friends seem to be looking to him for some sort of
guidance. it was as if they had an almost reverent
attitude as they waited for him to speak.
This is what he said -
'I have never talked to you guys about this. But this is
how I feel about it. No one should die over a flag. It is
nothing more than a rag blowing in the wind.'
that was a long speech for Dad.
this is the real spirit of america.
we are rough and tough.
we are not afraid.
we do not hate anyone. at least in theory.
we have every kind of person living here.
we are founded on the idea of freedom.
we are still growing and may make many more mistakes.
we care about suffering.
we have suffered as the world has suffered.
we give because it is the right thing to do.
we share our abundance.
we would prefer to trade with you
than to meet you on the battlefield.
all people are allowed to hold any religion
sacred from the needs of government.
you do not have to even care about religion
to live here is enough - you are an american.
this is the spirit of americans
we are the true government
we do not want our elected officials
killing innocent people
just because they do not like us and like some other
i do not want to kill anyone
killing is the easy, cowardly way out.
Up or Shut Up
Is everything still god?
Let's just say it is, for the moment anyway.
That being the case, wake up!
Buncha dumbazzes always talking about it but never doing
Do, you, hear the crying.
Do, you, feel the hatred.
Do, you, find the cause of suffering.
Do, let it end, you.
Put down the books.
Stop the quoting.
Quit displaying how well versed you are.
Jump down and get to work.
Forget about your relation to the so-called higher self.
Don't decide where you are on your path.
Cease your pratices which haven't worked.
Quit being addicted to meditation.
None of these things have ever gotten you there.
Now is the time - not tommorrow.
Stop being a slacker. You have about 72 hours to wake up.
coming to get ya! Lazy so and so's need a boot in the
Do you want this version of illusion to continue?
Or, would you rather be cool peaceful cats?
I asked you awhile back if you wanted peace or war. The
question still stands.
Whatever you answer, understand that either choice
requires 'some' effort.
I'm still here permeating and sustaining the entire
universe. When you laugh I laugh. When you cry I cry.
When you help I help. When you hurt I hurt.
But I won't force you to be peaceful. No, I will not
force your eyes
to see that this universe is a paradise. I may caution
you about the things that bite, though. Maybe not, for
you are me.
Play well - or not at all
the truth cannot be found in books
this is true
the truth can be found in books
oh, michael, you fool
why tell them this?
has no shame
it will use anything
to make music
games games - it is all games. No doubt about that!
Folk will play and change the rules from time to time.
Folk will play and change the game from time to time.
Folk will take their games so seriously.
And you are right - in the end, after all the rules have
been followed, broken, changed - we all end up dead! what
Or .. ?
Stop by the buffet and eat a good meal. It will clear the
head and strengthen the body. Relax a bit and see what
other games are available.
Whatever game we play let us not forget that it is only a
There is an old song. I don't remember it all and the
title eludes right now. But there is a line that spoke to
me then and speaks to me now.
'Give your love and all of your heart
And do what you do do well.'
The game of seeking god is being played on many lists.
Well, we don't play that here. How can we, if we see that
everything is already god?
See how I play? By my 'rules' god is not capitalized.
What fun! Hate is transmuted to love and I cheat
Break all the rules! How else can you find out what works
and what doesn't?
it is free
like in lunch?
didn't god tell you?
even though it is free,
the lunch must be chewed.
why be an old fool like me?
who picked apart god's sandwiches
and checked for bugs in his beer
to see if it was good enough to eat
would it make me sick?
would it be tasty?
how could i know
what god was offering?
i expected more that sandwiches.
and beer! just beer?
then i sniffed the beer
and tasted the food
and had no idea how good it was
or how hungry i was!
i was hungry enough to eat a wolve!
god's laughing let me know
how i had been tricked
the wolve was eating me!
Quotes and Stuff
from the Avadhut Gita
(The Song of the Avadhut)
When water and water are mixed
There is no difference between one and the other.
It is the same with matter and spirit.
This is very clear to me.
If I've never been bound,
I can never be liberated.
How could you think that the Self
Is limited by formlessness, or limited by form?
Nice little verses, no? Inspirational, direct, and
powerful? Perhaps. Or, they are nothing more than
sentimental spiritualistic - drivel.
When I first read them I just laughed! The message in
these two little verses state the truth of the matter.
There is no separation from god.
God - what a concept! No matter what we believe god is or
what our philosphy for living may be, there is something
that encompasses everything. Instinctively we know this
to be so. We look at the vastness of a starry night's sky
and often wonder what is there? How big is it, this
universe? And what is our place in it?
How was it created and why?
And so we may become seekers, scientists, philosophers,
diests, and so on and so on. We strive to make sense out
of this existence by carving out a little slice that
makes a personal sort of
reality. A zone of comfort that defines sanity for us, if
I remember something absurd from my largely christian
upbringing. It was the explanation that 'God' wants us to
love him. If we love him, we get to go to heaven. God
gave us free will so that we could love him or not. And,
'God' already knows who loves him and who gets to go to
heaven and who will be sent to hell. Huh? What's the
point - that's what I thought at the time (age 16 or so).
Is god some sort of sadist? Does he/she/it hang around
with a bunch of 'yes beings' amusing themselves with
creatures such as us? Does god say 'hey look, there's old
so and so! Having a nice little life - tell you what -
let's screw him up a bit and see what happens!'
And does god say, 'hey look, there is somebody who needs
a little help. What do you say, my angels, should we help
him out a bit?'
All religions have an element of the fantastical and
them. They are designed, to some extent, to be a
guideline on how one can lead a beneficial life. There
are moral and social guidelines found in each religion.
And the basic truth is often covered up by religion -
though it is stated.
That truth is, god is all there is - all there is, is
Ah, but we are a naive, gullible, credulous, and somewhat
childish species. We prefer a good fairy tale to the
truth. We enjoy being tricked - sometimes. (big grin
I'll tell you the big secret to finding god - there is no
secret to finding god.
And that is why 'awakening' is so difficult. It's a
trick! You and I are god in the flesh. We are not
separate from god - we only appear to be. Why? So that
the drama can appear to have meaning!
Gosh! IS it only a play? Well, in a word, yes. We are god
and we are playing all the parts.
Of course everything I've said here is only blabber!
There is no need to take it at all seriously.
A quote from the late Scott Morrison: "Enlightenment
is nothing more than being totally in love with
From me: "Your life is the universe's way of
From the delightful universe of 'Star Trek': IDIC -
in Infinite Combinations.
Live long and prosper.-----
To know myself
I created me
And set me down
In eternities garden.
There I wove
A mask of tears
To hide myself away
And play the game of seeking.
Teasing myself with visions of me
As a higher truth
I drank of bitters and spice
And became noble and delved in vice.
When then I seemed to have enough
I dropped the ball, refused to play
And gave to me another day
Of dawning joy.
I love you
Careful examination and
an impartial study of the various teachings of folk like
Jesus, Buddha, and so on will reveal a common thread. The
parallel of this base teaching is astounding. And damn
hard to find!
The basic underlying teaching is simply god is all there
is. The mystery and beauty is how we as characters formed
by this all encompassing god play out the role(s)
Well, I know this is only another in a long long list of
attempts to formulate some grand theory of how 'IT ALL
WORKS'. Or at least to
provide some logical explanation to the why of it all.
Some things defy any theory. Like how incredible and
beautiful you all are. How delightful that I can be a
character to enjoy your beauty!
Oh yeah, I know, we are all tricking ourselves. Deep down
we know that this present life is IT! Yet we play coy
with each other. How delightful!
What is there
The old story of the
seeker who asks to see god and has his held under water
til he almost drowns - only to be told that his desire
must be as the desire he had for air - this is the story
that most typifies what it takes to see god everywhere.
That is all I see. Whatever happens pain or pleasure is
god. Shitheads and saints are the same to me. The desire
arose in this character and nothing could quench that
desire. 'Michael Read' had no choice in the matter. Poor
sap was doomed from the start.
Yes I am god in the flesh. And it is no big deal! Why?
Because everything is god in the flesh. Nothing is left
This is the truth - you are god.
Yes even that feeble body, that limited intellect, those
passions, the incredible suffering and indescribable joys
- all of this is god and only god exists.
This is not a belief system or philosophy. It is not
something I dreamed up to pacify my longing. It is not a
'revealation from on high' that makes me 'His Chosen'.
Nor is it something to be turned into a religion or the
path or right practice.
The very hanging on to the concept of a 'you' is the only
realization. And the term realization is the most
sophisticated oxymoron extant.
Consider this sentence 'I realized god'. Now I ask -
"Who realized what?" When I realized god -
zzziiit! I was gone. No Michael Read, no memory of
Michael Read, no history of Michael Read etc etc etc.
What was there was only awareness. Awareness so vast,
deep, tumtultuous and steady at the same time. See? I
can't even begin to describe it without starting to
babble poetic silliness!
That you or I or anyone could ever do anything to be this
awarenss is too ludicrous to contemplate.
That the barrier (so to speak) that keeps us in the
belief that we are separate and different from this could
drop! How fine and rare that is!
Not so rare these days though. I hear people of all ages
asking a very simple question. They look around
themselves at all they see and wonder, why?, does any of
this exist! And some of them are burning to know! They
won't stop asking until they know. There are so many folk
waking up these days. Old fogeys like us who took 10, 20,
30 or more years to wake up will be delighted as we
witness the birth of a new people on this land.
But, really, why does anything and everything exist?
It exists for many reasons and for no reason at all. It
just does. It is there. It is a fact. And you certainly
know it is a fact when it hurts the most. Pain focuses
the concentration like nothing else can. That's why those
that seek god seem to be in such misery. They feel a pain
of separation from god. God, the source of righteousness
and justice, god, who rewards the just and punishes the
bad. God the source of all creation and all good.
Yet who is it that got tricked into thinking they were
separate, if in truth god is all there is?
As a finite character in an infinite play, I, Michael
Read do stand up and declare that god is all there is and
all there is - is god.
Then I am going to a birthday party.
What you do with your time is up to you.
The other day a fellow
came into the waystation. He had a faraway look in his
eyes and walked with a hesitant step. He was modestely
dressed and of no particular appearence. His shoes were
of good quality but in need of repair.
I greeted him and offered him a place at the table. Then
him a plate from the buffet. He sat there gazing through
his food for a long time. Then let out a deep shuddering
"I"' he began, "have just become
enlightened." Then he paused and
looked around briefly.
"Where is this place?"
"This is the waystation", I replied.
As I reached for my cup of tea he put out his hand as if
to stop me.
"Is this place real?" His voice was no more
than a whisper.
"It is as real as any other place." I tried to
"How is enlightenment going?", I asked.
He looked directly at me for the first time. In his eyes
there was the look of amazed terror and utter
"I...", he started.
I took a sip of tea never taking my eyes off of his. He
"Am nothing more than incidental scenery.", he
finished in clear and even tones.
Then he smiled, picked up his fork and dug in with gusto.
The last time I saw him he was being talked into a game
of strip poker by a couple of drop dead gorgeous angels.
By the way, he didn't have any baggage.
And so it goes.
Michael Read hosts The Way